The release of a new Third Eye Blind album a few weeks back has presented a major problem for me. See I’m a Third Eye Blind. And not in a nostalgic ironic way. I like their new stuff. I subscribe to their newsletter and visit at least three different websites related to their music on a semi-regular basis. I have every song they’ve ever recorded plus enough bootlegs and live recordings to fill three CDs. So yeah, I’m a FAN. So why is this a problem? Because, well, because they’re Third Eye Blind.
Look, as I’ve said here previously I don’t really believe in guilty pleasures. If something gives you pleasure then why should you feel guilty about it? I still believe this strongly. And I know I really shouldnt care what others think. And about most things I dont. But if you were to ask me to name my favorite bands I can pretty much guarantee you that Third Eye Blind would never come up.
And that’s a problem. I think.
Quentin Tarantino got me thinking about this problem right around when the new Third Eye Blind album came out. He did an interview in which he named his favorite movies from the past 17 years and it’s a stunningly strange list that includes things like Anything Else, Unbreakable, and Speed. When you’re Quentin Tarantino you can do things like that. In fact it’s pretty much expected. But if he were an up and coming director who hadn’t made Pulp Fiction and was trying to be taken seriously in the film industry would he be as willing to argue in defense of Anything Else? Would that make his facebook page? I don’t know. Maybe he wouldnt care, but I do. I do care what infomation is out there about me. Because you know what happens when I meet someone new? I friend them on facebook and then I make judgments and assumptions about them based on the things they’ve chosen to list on their facebook page. And I’m not alone in this. We all do to some degree. Because in the facebook age our like and dislikes are more than just that; they’re cultural signifiers.
And that brings me back to Third Eye Blind. I always mention to strangers my love for the Beatles. Not only are they truly my favorite band, but they also have the added benefit of being completely safe and universally beloved. Loving the Beatles makes me look good without saying too much else. And once I know you better I’ll talk to you about U2. They’re obviously a much more divisive band, but what they are about is such a strong signifier of what I am about, that my love for them says a lot about where I am coming from in the world. It's significant to understanding me as a person to know that I’m a U2 fan. But Third Eye Blind will probably never ever come up. Not because I’m necessarily embarrassed by it or because I feel guilty about it, but because I know how it looks from the outside. What they signify to the outside world. It would seem to me the equivalent of someone saying to me that they were big fans of Smashmouth. And I know what I would think about that person. And I don’t want people to think those things about me. Because what Third Eye Blind fandom seems to signify in popular culture is not what I am about. My Third Eye Blind fandom doesn’t signify accurately who I am. I am not “Third Eye Blind Fan”. I mean, yes, technically I am, but saying that just obfuscates the message. I can pick all the members of TV on the Radio out of a lineup no sweat, I’ve would describe Dan Deacon as the best concert going experience of my life, and I love the new Dirty Projectors album. And all of these things would seem to be equally as important and unimportant to understanding who I am as a person as the Third Eye Blind thing. But yet the Third Eye Blind “thing” is the signifier that most people would latch onto. Because it’s the ways that we’re different from the norm of those around us that are of interest to those trying to get a handle on us. Liking Star Wars doesn’t really say much about you, other than that you’re alive and possibly male. But NOT liking Star Wars, or never having seen Star Wars, would seem to say a great deal about you. And it would say things that you might not want said if, say, you were looking to meet a bunch of sci-fi inclined movie-loving males.
And so when I meet cultured, intelligent, hip young New Yorkers I mention The Beatles and Radiohead and Stevie Wonder. And then later I’ll mention U2 and Kanye West. But much like how I say my favorite movies are Annie Hall and Almost Famous, while knowing deep down that if I had to chose one movie to take with me to a deserted island it would be Primary Colors, the truth is that I haven’t listened to anything other than the new Third Eye Blind album in the past three weeks.
That’s who I am.
And also it’s not.
I just can’t decide.
Showing posts with label Beatles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beatles. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Sound of Settling
After Eminem lost to Steely Dan for Album of the Year I swore I would never watch the Grammys again. It was one of those defining moments of young adulthood where you realize life isn’t fair and existence is meaningless. To recognize this fact I went out the next day and bought an Eminem shirt and wore it to school. "Life showed me its purely random and meaningless nature and all I got was this lousy shirt", is, in retrospect, what I was trying to say. But at the time I believe my thinking went something more like “Eminem is God, fuck the Grammys”
And so I really shouldn’t be here eight years later cursing out the Grammys for fucking up their awards. And yet I am.
I just can’t leave well enough alone.
They say the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result. By this definition (or by any definition really) watching the Grammys is insane. And yet I do it. I could say I watch for the performances, which are often really great and memorable. And this statement would be true. But it wouldn’t be the whole truth. Because deep down I also watch because I do legitimately care who wins. Now, yes, the Grammys are not relevant in any serious way. Yes, their choices are notoriously out of step and laugh inducing. But they also have gotten it right a fair amount of times (Sgt. Pepper, Songs in the Key of Life, Rumours, Thriller, Joshua Tree, etc.). And in fact if you really get down to it, they’ve probably gotten it right as many times as the Oscars have. And ever since they reformed the nominating process in 1995, the nominees have been pretty solid too. And that’s what makes it so frustrating. Every year it seems like “this is the year they’ll get it right”. And every year I end the night swearing drunken profanities at my TV.
But I keep hanging on because what the Grammys claim to be about is what I am all about:
And so I really shouldn’t be here eight years later cursing out the Grammys for fucking up their awards. And yet I am.
I just can’t leave well enough alone.
They say the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result. By this definition (or by any definition really) watching the Grammys is insane. And yet I do it. I could say I watch for the performances, which are often really great and memorable. And this statement would be true. But it wouldn’t be the whole truth. Because deep down I also watch because I do legitimately care who wins. Now, yes, the Grammys are not relevant in any serious way. Yes, their choices are notoriously out of step and laugh inducing. But they also have gotten it right a fair amount of times (Sgt. Pepper, Songs in the Key of Life, Rumours, Thriller, Joshua Tree, etc.). And in fact if you really get down to it, they’ve probably gotten it right as many times as the Oscars have. And ever since they reformed the nominating process in 1995, the nominees have been pretty solid too. And that’s what makes it so frustrating. Every year it seems like “this is the year they’ll get it right”. And every year I end the night swearing drunken profanities at my TV.
But I keep hanging on because what the Grammys claim to be about is what I am all about:
When art and commerce join without sacrificing one for the other. When everyone, young and old, black and white, rich and poor, can agree that this thing, this piece of art is indisputaby the best. When something is simultanously the best and the most popular. The Beatles, The Godfather, The Sopranos, Tiger Woods. This is what all of humanity strives for. This is where I aim to live my life. This is why I care about the Grammys.
Also, I’m addicted to awards shows.
And so my Grammy thoughts begin:
* My one wish is to hear T-Pain accept an award so I can hear him speak in his real voice. I feel like hearing T-Pain speak without his vocoder would be as disconcerting as hearing Hugh Laurie speak without his American accent.
* If I never hear "Before He Cheats" again for the rest of my natural life I will be more than okay with that. And by the way Carrie, before you go tearing up peoples cars maybe you better look in the mirror. Because I think if I was dating a girl with your level of jealousy and anger issues I might cheat on her too. And don’t take my word for it. Ask Tony Romo.
* Has an incredibly attractive person ever looked worse than Rihanna did during that “performance” of "Umbrella"? And while we’re on the subject, can someone explain to my what’s so good about "Umbrella"? I mean it won Pazz and Jop for Gods sake. What am I missing here? I find it mildly tolerable at best. Someone really needs to help me to understand this.
* Okay on a scale of 1 to 10 how threatened do you think Beyonce is by Jay-Z and Rihanna? I’m guessing at least a 13. All I gotta say is don’t do it Jay. Listen to that Carrie Underwood song before you do anything rash.
* How does a TV show prominantly featuring Beyonce not come with a viewer discretion advised warning? I mean what’s more harmful to America’s youth – violence and nudity or Beyonce?
*It’s really disheartening to see Beyonce doing Revlon ads isn't it? So sad to see her sell out like that.
* My one wish is to hear T-Pain accept an award so I can hear him speak in his real voice. I feel like hearing T-Pain speak without his vocoder would be as disconcerting as hearing Hugh Laurie speak without his American accent.
* If I never hear "Before He Cheats" again for the rest of my natural life I will be more than okay with that. And by the way Carrie, before you go tearing up peoples cars maybe you better look in the mirror. Because I think if I was dating a girl with your level of jealousy and anger issues I might cheat on her too. And don’t take my word for it. Ask Tony Romo.
* Has an incredibly attractive person ever looked worse than Rihanna did during that “performance” of "Umbrella"? And while we’re on the subject, can someone explain to my what’s so good about "Umbrella"? I mean it won Pazz and Jop for Gods sake. What am I missing here? I find it mildly tolerable at best. Someone really needs to help me to understand this.
* Okay on a scale of 1 to 10 how threatened do you think Beyonce is by Jay-Z and Rihanna? I’m guessing at least a 13. All I gotta say is don’t do it Jay. Listen to that Carrie Underwood song before you do anything rash.
* How does a TV show prominantly featuring Beyonce not come with a viewer discretion advised warning? I mean what’s more harmful to America’s youth – violence and nudity or Beyonce?
*It’s really disheartening to see Beyonce doing Revlon ads isn't it? So sad to see her sell out like that.
* Okay folks, not to be the asshole here, but its really not necessary to give Stevie Wonder a STANDING ovation. I’m just saying…
*Say what you will about the Grammys but any organization that gives an award to both Barrack Obama and Flight of the Conchords in the same night cant be all bad.
*Say what you will about the Grammys but any organization that gives an award to both Barrack Obama and Flight of the Conchords in the same night cant be all bad.
* A meeting I would have like to have been at:
Executive #1: Okay so who do you think the best people would be to present the award for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration?
Executive #2: How about Taylor Swift and that dude Juanes who barely speaks English
Executive #1: Perfect!
*Hey did you know Akon was once a con? Yes, a real life convict. So when it was time to chose a moniker it was either 'Akon" or "Areallyshittyrapper". True story.
* Okay if you’re not standing for the Beatles tribute then you don’t deserve to be there. That might have been the best thing to ever air on CBS. Speaking of which…
*Holy shit! Cirque du Soleil performing to "Day in the Life" on CBS! Middle America just got very confused. What’s next DAFT PUNK?
* Holy shit! It's Daft Punk!! Live on CBS!!! Hurry up kids, get in the fallout shelter, the apocalypse is nigh!
*Ah, George Lopez introducing Brad Paisley. That’s more like it. You can come out now kids….
* Alicia Keys and John Mayer together! If I was black or a woman I would have just came right now.
(I just realized I don’t know the proper conjugation rules for the verb “cum”. I know F. Scott Fitzgerald used to have the same problem.)
* Speaking of my black girlfriend Alicia Keys…
Top 3 Reasons to Listen to the Radio
1.) “No One” - Alicia Keys
2.) “Love Song” – Sara Bareilles
3.) “The Pretender” – Foo Fighters
Top 3 Reasons Not to Listen to the Radio
1.) A loss of faith in all humanity
2.) The soul crushing sound of utter ineptitude
3.) Fergie
* Shockingly, SHOCKINGLY, Will.I.Am’s performance was painfully awful. I didn’t see that one coming.
* You know who I trust with my retirement savings? The crazy dude from Blue Velvet that’s who.
(I wish I could go back to 1969 and tell audiences coming out of Easy Rider that one day Dennis Hopper would be doing ads for a large financial corporation. The 60s would have ended right then and there)
* Wow Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman are in a movie together. That would be huge if only it were still 2003. Alas, it is not.
* I wonder how they cast the finger for the iPhone commercials. Is it the same finger for all the ads? Is someone the official finger of iPhone? And what was that audition like exactly? Were they looking for someone from Julliard?
*Kanye is the MAN. I cannot possibly make that word bold enough. You know what we were talking about earlier about being both the best and the most popular. Watch this video and youll see what I mean. Looks like that time spent hanging out with Bono is really paying off.
(As good as that was, his acceptance speech moments later was even better)
*Speaking of acceptance speeches...
Id never heard her talk before but wow shes really British isnt she?
*Now I know there are those who will make jokes about her performance or her speech or her general state of semi-coherence, but I found the whole thing strongly moving in a way I cant quite articulate. I mean you gotta be rooting for her, even more so after last night. I make jokes about literally everything, but even I dont feel right touching this one.
(I will say though that I've watched that clip at least five times now and every time "ray RAY" cracks me up.)
* Okay so before I go I have to address the Herbie Hancock fiasco. Yes my jaw did literally drop. Without exaggeration it took about 30 seconds to even register what had just happened. That is what shock feels like. And that is also what pounding the last nail in coffin of relevancy feels like. Congratulations Grammys. I hope you’re proud of yourselves. I think that undoubtedly goes down in the annals of Grammy lore along with Milli Vanilli, Christopher Cross, and Tony Bennett MTV Unplugged. You also ended my string of outrageously premature yet accurate Grammy predictions. In the past I predicted Speakerboxxx/Love Below would win Album of the Year and that Future Sex/Love Sounds would be nominated for Album of the Year months before either album was even released. This year I said Amy Winehouse would narrowly beat Kanye for Album of the Year back in March. Well to get my self back on track here’s my prediction for next year. The song Kanye does about his mother’s death will not only be his best song ever but it will be the first hip-hop song to win Record of the Year. And 4th time will be the charm, as he’ll finally win Album of the Year. And while we’re making predictions, Heath Ledger will also be nominated for Best Supporting Actor for The Dark Knight. Take it to the bank, and remember you heard it here first.
Executive #1: Okay so who do you think the best people would be to present the award for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration?
Executive #2: How about Taylor Swift and that dude Juanes who barely speaks English
Executive #1: Perfect!
*Hey did you know Akon was once a con? Yes, a real life convict. So when it was time to chose a moniker it was either 'Akon" or "Areallyshittyrapper". True story.
* Okay if you’re not standing for the Beatles tribute then you don’t deserve to be there. That might have been the best thing to ever air on CBS. Speaking of which…
*Holy shit! Cirque du Soleil performing to "Day in the Life" on CBS! Middle America just got very confused. What’s next DAFT PUNK?
* Holy shit! It's Daft Punk!! Live on CBS!!! Hurry up kids, get in the fallout shelter, the apocalypse is nigh!
*Ah, George Lopez introducing Brad Paisley. That’s more like it. You can come out now kids….
* Alicia Keys and John Mayer together! If I was black or a woman I would have just came right now.
(I just realized I don’t know the proper conjugation rules for the verb “cum”. I know F. Scott Fitzgerald used to have the same problem.)
* Speaking of my black girlfriend Alicia Keys…
Top 3 Reasons to Listen to the Radio
1.) “No One” - Alicia Keys
2.) “Love Song” – Sara Bareilles
3.) “The Pretender” – Foo Fighters
Top 3 Reasons Not to Listen to the Radio
1.) A loss of faith in all humanity
2.) The soul crushing sound of utter ineptitude
3.) Fergie
* Shockingly, SHOCKINGLY, Will.I.Am’s performance was painfully awful. I didn’t see that one coming.
* You know who I trust with my retirement savings? The crazy dude from Blue Velvet that’s who.
(I wish I could go back to 1969 and tell audiences coming out of Easy Rider that one day Dennis Hopper would be doing ads for a large financial corporation. The 60s would have ended right then and there)
* Wow Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman are in a movie together. That would be huge if only it were still 2003. Alas, it is not.
* I wonder how they cast the finger for the iPhone commercials. Is it the same finger for all the ads? Is someone the official finger of iPhone? And what was that audition like exactly? Were they looking for someone from Julliard?
*Kanye is the MAN. I cannot possibly make that word bold enough. You know what we were talking about earlier about being both the best and the most popular. Watch this video and youll see what I mean. Looks like that time spent hanging out with Bono is really paying off.
(As good as that was, his acceptance speech moments later was even better)
*Speaking of acceptance speeches...
Id never heard her talk before but wow shes really British isnt she?
*Now I know there are those who will make jokes about her performance or her speech or her general state of semi-coherence, but I found the whole thing strongly moving in a way I cant quite articulate. I mean you gotta be rooting for her, even more so after last night. I make jokes about literally everything, but even I dont feel right touching this one.
(I will say though that I've watched that clip at least five times now and every time "ray RAY" cracks me up.)
* Okay so before I go I have to address the Herbie Hancock fiasco. Yes my jaw did literally drop. Without exaggeration it took about 30 seconds to even register what had just happened. That is what shock feels like. And that is also what pounding the last nail in coffin of relevancy feels like. Congratulations Grammys. I hope you’re proud of yourselves. I think that undoubtedly goes down in the annals of Grammy lore along with Milli Vanilli, Christopher Cross, and Tony Bennett MTV Unplugged. You also ended my string of outrageously premature yet accurate Grammy predictions. In the past I predicted Speakerboxxx/Love Below would win Album of the Year and that Future Sex/Love Sounds would be nominated for Album of the Year months before either album was even released. This year I said Amy Winehouse would narrowly beat Kanye for Album of the Year back in March. Well to get my self back on track here’s my prediction for next year. The song Kanye does about his mother’s death will not only be his best song ever but it will be the first hip-hop song to win Record of the Year. And 4th time will be the charm, as he’ll finally win Album of the Year. And while we’re making predictions, Heath Ledger will also be nominated for Best Supporting Actor for The Dark Knight. Take it to the bank, and remember you heard it here first.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
I Believe in Beatles
It has recently come to my attention that there is a major problem facing our world and our future and I cannot allow it continue without addressing it. (Uh-oh, he’s about to get preachy, run for cover…)
About a year ago Entertainment Weekly ran an article entitled “Do The Beatles Still Matter?” As soon as I saw the article I became furious. The Bible was printing sacrilege. Any magazine that would even bother to print such a stupid, inane, completely and absolutely ridiculous article wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. I stopped just short of canceling my subscription then and there, but I still have yet to fully forgive them for even ASKING such a question (even though the article did ultimately come to the only conclusion one could possibly come to on the matter). When I was finally able to bring myself to read such garbage, I found that it focused on the fact that a lot of young people today don’t listen to The Beatles, aren’t familiar with them, or even worse, weren’t fans. Now many of the people interviewed or quoted said they liked Good Charlotte or Avril Lavigne or some such music, so while still very troubling, I was able to deal with it by writing it off as just another example of the dumbing down of youth culture and MTV related ignorance. That got me started on my “the country is going down the shitter, people are idiots, our educational system is a complete failure” internal tirade, but it was okay, because “surely they will learn when they grow up” I thought. I didn’t know the Beatles when I was 14 either. “Give them a few years.” I mean all the people I know now love The Beatles. I mean, they have good taste in music so surely they must…
(Blood pressure slowly beginning to rise)
I first started noticing suspicious things last semester. As I was moving from my “big fan” phase to “obsessive to a potentially unhealthy degree” phase, my sensitivity to all things Beatles became heightened. And therefore little things that might previously have gone unnoticed struck me as odd. Like when I mentioned "Doctor Robert" in an RA staff meeting and no one had any idea what I was talking about. Or when jokes about being the walrus or doing it in the road were met with puzzled expressions. I become somewhat concerned, so I stared flat out asking people “are you a Beatles fan?” And the responses I got were worse than I could have possibly imagined. (Brace yourself…) By and large PEOPLE DIDN’T REALLY KNOW THE BEATLES.
(Blood pressure reaching dangerous levels)
I honestly cannot conceive of how this is possible. People I know and care about, most of my friends, people whose opinions on matters of taste I had even trusted, people I had (God forbid) even listened to music recommendations from DIDN’T KNOW THE BEATLES! Or if they did know them they “weren’t huge fans”!! I felt beyond betrayed. I mean I had taken music opinions from these people! It was like knowing someone for years and then one day finding out they are actually only a very life-like cyborg. I mean if you don’t like The Beatles I fail to see how you are technically “alive” per say. So I must do my part to remedy this situation now.
Not to be preachy (far too late for that) but if you don’t like The Beatles then all of your opinions on music and, well, any art at all, are completely invalid. I cannot stress this strongly enough. It is very simple: If you don’t like The Beatles then you don’t like music. Bottom line. This is so incredibly not debatable that Lincoln and/or Douglas couldn’t even make an argument on its behalf. To say you like music and are not a huge Beatles fan is like saying you like reading but don’t really care for sentences. The Beatles are what music is built on. They ARE music. (Well duh, but you get my deeper point…). It goes even deeper than that though. There are a few things that exist in the world that are so great, examples of such great genius that it seems almost inconceivable that they could have been created by the human mind. I think I could put the short list at the works of Shakespeare, Beethoven, the threesome scene in Wild Things, and The Beatles. I mean listen to "Day in the Life" or "Dear Prudence" or The White Album or hell, almost anything they ever wrote, and there’s just no way to describe how incredible it is. It exemplifies the line in American Beauty “Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it.” Their music hits you in places you didn’t even know existed. The fact that IT exists gives you hope. The fact that four real people from a small town in England were able to create something like the music of the Beatles gives you hope in all of humanity. If human beings can create something that transcendent, that genius, that indescribable, then there’s nothing humanity can’t do. To not embrace The Beatles is to not embrace life. There are certainly statements that I feel must be true if you want to claim to lead a valid, fulfilling, and worthwhile existence: “I participate in the inhaling of oxygen and the exhaling of carbon dioxide” “I’m not a big fan of genocide” and “I like the Beatles”. If you cant truthfully say these statements then you should give you life to someone who could make better use of it.
So by now you either get the point or you are illiterate, in which case might I ask what you are doing here. And all if all this impassioned rhetoric does nothing else (well besides make me seem a little mentally unstable) I hope that it at least makes you consider giving the Beatles a deeper listen. Despite what P. Diddy would have you believe, this is an issue that is more important to your life, and our life as a society, than voting. Because no matter who is president or what happens in world affairs, we will all always have The Beatles. They are unversal and eternal they are our shared soundtrack. And so when I find myself in times of trouble, and have nothing to believe in anymore, I know that, unlike John, I believe in Beatles, and no matter what, just knowing that, I can always say: “it’s alright”.
Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
1.) Steve Martin
2.) Wilco - "Jesus, Etc."
3.) Jim White - "Static on the Radio"
3 & 1/2.) Your Mom
About a year ago Entertainment Weekly ran an article entitled “Do The Beatles Still Matter?” As soon as I saw the article I became furious. The Bible was printing sacrilege. Any magazine that would even bother to print such a stupid, inane, completely and absolutely ridiculous article wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. I stopped just short of canceling my subscription then and there, but I still have yet to fully forgive them for even ASKING such a question (even though the article did ultimately come to the only conclusion one could possibly come to on the matter). When I was finally able to bring myself to read such garbage, I found that it focused on the fact that a lot of young people today don’t listen to The Beatles, aren’t familiar with them, or even worse, weren’t fans. Now many of the people interviewed or quoted said they liked Good Charlotte or Avril Lavigne or some such music, so while still very troubling, I was able to deal with it by writing it off as just another example of the dumbing down of youth culture and MTV related ignorance. That got me started on my “the country is going down the shitter, people are idiots, our educational system is a complete failure” internal tirade, but it was okay, because “surely they will learn when they grow up” I thought. I didn’t know the Beatles when I was 14 either. “Give them a few years.” I mean all the people I know now love The Beatles. I mean, they have good taste in music so surely they must…
(Blood pressure slowly beginning to rise)
I first started noticing suspicious things last semester. As I was moving from my “big fan” phase to “obsessive to a potentially unhealthy degree” phase, my sensitivity to all things Beatles became heightened. And therefore little things that might previously have gone unnoticed struck me as odd. Like when I mentioned "Doctor Robert" in an RA staff meeting and no one had any idea what I was talking about. Or when jokes about being the walrus or doing it in the road were met with puzzled expressions. I become somewhat concerned, so I stared flat out asking people “are you a Beatles fan?” And the responses I got were worse than I could have possibly imagined. (Brace yourself…) By and large PEOPLE DIDN’T REALLY KNOW THE BEATLES.
(Blood pressure reaching dangerous levels)
I honestly cannot conceive of how this is possible. People I know and care about, most of my friends, people whose opinions on matters of taste I had even trusted, people I had (God forbid) even listened to music recommendations from DIDN’T KNOW THE BEATLES! Or if they did know them they “weren’t huge fans”!! I felt beyond betrayed. I mean I had taken music opinions from these people! It was like knowing someone for years and then one day finding out they are actually only a very life-like cyborg. I mean if you don’t like The Beatles I fail to see how you are technically “alive” per say. So I must do my part to remedy this situation now.
Not to be preachy (far too late for that) but if you don’t like The Beatles then all of your opinions on music and, well, any art at all, are completely invalid. I cannot stress this strongly enough. It is very simple: If you don’t like The Beatles then you don’t like music. Bottom line. This is so incredibly not debatable that Lincoln and/or Douglas couldn’t even make an argument on its behalf. To say you like music and are not a huge Beatles fan is like saying you like reading but don’t really care for sentences. The Beatles are what music is built on. They ARE music. (Well duh, but you get my deeper point…). It goes even deeper than that though. There are a few things that exist in the world that are so great, examples of such great genius that it seems almost inconceivable that they could have been created by the human mind. I think I could put the short list at the works of Shakespeare, Beethoven, the threesome scene in Wild Things, and The Beatles. I mean listen to "Day in the Life" or "Dear Prudence" or The White Album or hell, almost anything they ever wrote, and there’s just no way to describe how incredible it is. It exemplifies the line in American Beauty “Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it.” Their music hits you in places you didn’t even know existed. The fact that IT exists gives you hope. The fact that four real people from a small town in England were able to create something like the music of the Beatles gives you hope in all of humanity. If human beings can create something that transcendent, that genius, that indescribable, then there’s nothing humanity can’t do. To not embrace The Beatles is to not embrace life. There are certainly statements that I feel must be true if you want to claim to lead a valid, fulfilling, and worthwhile existence: “I participate in the inhaling of oxygen and the exhaling of carbon dioxide” “I’m not a big fan of genocide” and “I like the Beatles”. If you cant truthfully say these statements then you should give you life to someone who could make better use of it.
So by now you either get the point or you are illiterate, in which case might I ask what you are doing here. And all if all this impassioned rhetoric does nothing else (well besides make me seem a little mentally unstable) I hope that it at least makes you consider giving the Beatles a deeper listen. Despite what P. Diddy would have you believe, this is an issue that is more important to your life, and our life as a society, than voting. Because no matter who is president or what happens in world affairs, we will all always have The Beatles. They are unversal and eternal they are our shared soundtrack. And so when I find myself in times of trouble, and have nothing to believe in anymore, I know that, unlike John, I believe in Beatles, and no matter what, just knowing that, I can always say: “it’s alright”.
Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
1.) Steve Martin
2.) Wilco - "Jesus, Etc."
3.) Jim White - "Static on the Radio"
3 & 1/2.) Your Mom
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