8:06 - Pretty solid job, Mr. Gervais, but not outstanding. Still, always nice to have you around.
8:20 - So Mo'Nique gets an hour to speak, but Pete Doctor gets about five seconds tops? Maybe if he had taken 20 minutes to get to the stage...
8:28 - They're trying to break the world record for most shots of Penelope Cruz during a three hour telecast. They're going to obliterate it at this rate. I've counted 58 so far.
8:31 - MASSIVE UPSET ALERT! If you had Felicity Huffman in your "Most Embarrassingly Drunk" office pool, congrats! None of the rest of us saw that coming at all.
8:40 - I'm convinced that Al Pacino was so tired of being the obvious answer to the question "which formerly great actor has most lost his mind in old age?" that he decided to pay for Harrison Ford's lobotomy.
8:45 - After seeing Crazy Heart, I think T. Bone Burnett is an even bigger Oscar lock than Christoph Waltz. With that in mind, he really needs to work on his speech giving ability.
8:50 - Okay this night has officially turned into a Thank-Your-Spouse-Off. Thanks a lot, Mo'Nique...
8:52 - We can all agree on Amy Adams can't we?
8:56 - In terms of totally and completely changing your image from drug addled mess to family-friendly mainstream film star, Drew Barrymore is the female equivalent of Robert Downey Jr. isn't she? I mean does anyone even remember when she flashed David Letterman? That's all been swept under the rug at this point.
9:01 - Highlight of the year coming in 3...2...1...
"I wish my name was T-Bone"
JACKPOT!
Oh Meryl, I don't know how you do it (actually I do) but you never disappoint. All is right with the world for a whole nother year.
9:16 - Okay scratch that Drew Barrymore comment....
9:27 - So lemme get this straight Golden Globes: you knew Alec Baldwin wouldn't be there to accept if he won, and yet you still didn't give Best Comedy Actor to Steve Carell?
You knew Ricky Gervais was going to be hosting right?
9:34 - We're standing for Sophia Loren? Name a Sophia Loren movie other than Two Women (Nine doesn't count). You couldn't do it could you? So then why are we standing for her? Because she's not dead? I don't understand.
9:39 - If I played fantasy sports my team name would definitely be "Jon Hamm's Beard"
9:46 - Taylor Lautner how can you introduce (500) Days of Summer and not make some joke comparing it to you and Taylor Swift? There were at least three different perfect opportunities to do so. You're dead to me now. (Note: You were never alive to me)
9:47 - Rachel Dratch was in Hung? And she changed her name to Jane Adams?
9:47 - Chloe Sevigny I think that dress might be the most embarrassing and disgusting thing that has ever happened to you, and keep in mind that you once blew Vincent Gallo on film.
10:01 - Holy shit Marty, thats quite the imdb page you've got there
10:05 - I think Martin Scorsese might be the last person left on earth who still refers to movies as "pictures". It's endearing.
10:06 - So are we supposed to be taking Mel Gibson seriously again now? Is that a thing?
(Also, not to ruin Edge of Darkness for you, but it turns out that the Jews did it.)
10:17 - No more quoting from your own movie in your acceptance speeches James Cameron! Have you learned nothing?!?
10:19 - Holy shit. Who the hell is Olivia Wilde and where can I watch her do things?
10:25 - Hey it's Jodie Foster. See Lindsey Lohan, there is a classy way to be a former child star/questionable lesbian.
10:30 - Why is Ed Helms' song from The Hangover not considered a legitimate awards contender? Seriously, name five original songs from this year that are more memorable and important to their respective films than that one. You can't.
10:35 - Oh man, its good to have Mickey Rourke back in our lives again.
10:36 - Do we really live in a world where The Blind Side wins major awards? I don't know if this is a world I care to live in.
10:42 - Most underrated person in the world: Lauren Graham
10:47 - Ladies and gentlemen, your Best Actor Oscar race just got decided. George and Colin, thanks for playing.
10:57 - DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh. I'm going to bed.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
The Top 25 of 2009
I know, I know, you're so over 2009. But I never understand why people do their end of the year wrap ups before the year is even over. What, do things that happen in December not count? Even waiting until after the official end of the year I didn’t nearly have enough time to experience everything pop culture had to offer in 2009. There are plenty of things (Mad Men, Glee, Adventureland, etc.) I feel almost positive would be on this list if only I had had the time to see/hear/read/do them. And I'm sure there are countless other things I’m not even aware of that I will look back on years from now as among the 2009’s best. But that being said, there was more than enough that I did experience in 2009 to fill a best of list and then some. But rather than ranking them and separating them by category I thought I’d highlight my favorite things of 2009 in one long rambling master list. Strap in, it’s gonna be a long 5,000 words.
First off though:
The Worst of 2009
I don’t want to harp on the negative because there's already too much of that on the internet, but lord knows there were some pretty awful things in 2009:
-“TiK ToK” – seriously who the hell wants a guy who looks like Mick Jagger, he’s like 70.
-the flannel revival – no one looked good in flannel the first time around okay?
-everything about the Twilight Saga – what am I missing here?
-“According To You” – don’t even get me started…
But definitely the worst thing about 2009 was death. As is true every year, death really sucked. But it sucked even worse than usual in 2009. And from Michael Jackson to Chris Brown’s career to Tiger Woods’ dignity it didn’t discriminate. It went on a wild rampage destroying everything in its path. By the time Britney Murphy died we were all so burned out that we didn’t even bat an eyelash. Here's hoping that death soon becomes “like, so 2009”.
Things that just missed the "Best Of" cut
I wanted to make this list things that everyone could have experienced. I had some great pop culture experiences in 2009 but if they weren’t potentially universal experiences what’s the point of commenting on them? Who wants to read a bunch of things that happened only to me personally? Nevertheless some things that didn’t make the “universal experience” cut that are worth mentioning:
-Jay-Z at APW opening his set with “No Sleep Til Brooklyn”
-Touching Thomas Mars at the Rumsey Playfield Phoenix concert
-“Hey Jude” at Citi Field
So now without further ado:
The Top 25 of 2009 (in no particular order):
1.) Movie Trailers
A wise person (or possibly a Star Trek character) once said that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. Well, while the last year in film was quite the year for having, having couldn’t hold a candle to wanting.
Sometimes the having lived up to the wanting:
Up in the Air
(500) Days of Summer
Other times not so much:
Watchmen
And in some cases we still have to wait for a few more months before a judgment can be made:
Greenberg
But regardless, this felt like the year that movie trailers got so good that they started to transcend the movies themselves. And if you don’t believe me then may I present exhibit A:
Others of note:
A Serious Man
Star Trek
Moon
2.) Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
As a long time Phoenix fan I’m not quite sure how I feel about the past year. On the one hand, I’ve never understood why Phoenix wasn’t more popular. And it’s been shocking to see how many of the incredibly music-savy people I know weren’t even familiar with Phoenix until this year. I’m always at least a step behind on these things, so I had just kind of assumed Phoenix was already huge within the music snob community. But apparently not. So it’s good that they’re finally getting their due. Because they deserve all the love and accolades they can get. On the other hand, the Cadillac commercial, and the new douchebag fans coming out of the woodwork, and the having to share them with people who don’t even know all the words to “Consolation Prizes” (the horror!), is a new experience that I’m still working through. But believe me, I know it could be worse. I could be a long-time Kings of Leon fan.
Regardless, none of this would have happened if Thomas Mars and the boys hadn’t put together their finest and most hit laden album yet. It’s great from begin to end. And it’s also the year’s best. By a wide margin. Well done boys. Merci beaucoup.
3.) The “Bad Romance” video
In the past five years I have probably watched a music video ten times. And eight of those times were me watching this video on repeat. There’s much (MUCH) more to come on Lady Gaga on this very blog in the near future, but for now lemme just say that, like all right thinking people, I am decidedly pro-Gaga. Just in this one song there are so many thing to love – the random French words, the inexplicable lyrical Hitchcock homage, the chorus of nonsense sounds, and the fact that she was somehow able to beat out “Wilco (the song)” for best song of 2009 to incorporate the artist's name into the lyrics (coming in dead last, as always: Fergie). But the video really takes the whole thing to the next level. Apparently music videos can still feel fresh and vital and exciting. Who knew? It’s like its 1983 all over again. (In more ways than one. But more on that next time….)
4.) Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds
I’d be hard pressed to come up with someone who deserves their Oscar more than Christoph Waltz deserves the one he is going to win this year. As far as supporting actors go, Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, Martin Landau in Ed Wood, Denzel Washington in Glory, and maybe Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men are the only ones from the relatively recent past that would be in the discussion. But regardless of where he ranks all time, Christoph Waltz was easily the best thing about easily one the year’s best movies. His performance left me giddy with excitement, inspired, and in awe. So while the movie as a whole is worthy of the highest of praise, Christoph earned a spot on this list all of his own. So well done sir. Now go out and buy yourself an “er”.
5.) Twelfth Night (Shakespeare in the Park)
I had to include at least one piece of theater and this one was not only one of the best, but also one of the most easily accessible in every way possible. It was a surprising production not just because Anne Hathaway seemed like she had been speaking verse her whole life, or because (theater nerd alert!) I felt certain I would never see a better production of Twelfth Night than Donmar Warehouse’s 2003 production at BAM, but mostly because in a cast with more Tonys than an Italian wedding, little known Hamish Linklater didn’t just steal the show, he committed grand larceny. I’ll never see a better Andrew Aguecheek. Or see a Twelfth Night with better music. If music be the food of love, then let Twelfth Night’s play on forever.
6.) NBC Thursday Nights
Even in the heyday of Must See TV NBC was never able to produce a solid two straight hours of comedy. So the fact that they have now been able to accomplish that feat is definitely worth recognizing. In fact let’s take a closer look:
Community – It may not be getting the most “best new comedy” buzz, but to me Community is way better than Modern Family.
(although to be fair, I’ve never seen even a second of Modern Family)
Parks and Rec – I’d just like to say that I’ve been on board since day one. I know everyone is clamoring to get on the bandwagon now, but lemme just say the show hasn’t changed that drastically since when everyone thought it was terrible and should be cancelled. I could say I told you so, but since I’m feeling magnanimous I’ll just say welcome to the party. It’s good to have you. And let’s all work to get Amy Poehler, Chris Pratt, and Louis C.K. their Emmys already.
(Also, if you haven’t seen Paul Schneider in Bright Star yet, you really should. The fact that he’s the same guy from Parks and Rec will blow your mind)
The Office – I know this started out as Michael Scott’s show, and then became Dwight’s show, and then became Jim and Pam’s show. And while all of them still have their integral place on the show, to me this is now clearly Andy Bernard’s show. You can pretty much gauge how good an episode is going to be by how much Andy Bernard it has in it. Also, he’s got to best one of the best/worst things to ever happen to Cornell.
30 Rock – Alec Baldwin = overrated, Jane Krakowski = underrated, Tracy Morgan = rated properly, the “30 Rock isn’t good anymore” contingent = needing to be punched in the face
7.) “15 Step” and “Swagga Like Us” at the Grammys
The Grammys are as terrible at recognizing great music as they are terrific at showcasing it. And it’s a shame that the former precludes most people from experiencing the latter. And since the Grammys are at least 20 years behind the times, they pull their videos from You Tube meaning I can’t rectify that problem for you. But you’ll just have to trust me that Radiohead performing “15 Step” with the USC marching band, and a seriously pregnant M.I.A. sharing a stage with Kanye, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and T.I. for “Swagga Like Us” were both electric performances.
8.) The new presenter format at The Oscars
While the awards themselves were hit or miss (Sean Penn, Heath Ledger, Penelope Cruz – yea!, Kate Winslet, all things Slumdog Millionaire – meh) last year’s Oscars show was terrific. Of course I think that every year, but this time I don’t think I'm alone. The way past winners paid personal tribute to each of the nominees was touching and wonderful and heartwarming and so of course it will never happen again. There are new producers and they’ve already implied that they’re scrapping that idea. And since the James Cameron show ensures that ratings will be through the roof, whatever format the show has this year will be the one it will have for the foreseeable future. So thanks for coming nominees who aren’t Jeff Bridges, Monique, Christoph Waltz, and Carey Mulligan/Meryl Streep, but a short film clip is all the recognition you're gonna get this year. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted….
9.) Dug from Up
When I said in the summer “I guarantee you there won’t be a better movie this year than Up” I didn’t realize that I had forgotten to add “in the Air” to the end of that sentence. But no matter. Because plain old Up is still a solid second. And while the opening montage deserves all the props it has gotten, there’s nothing I enjoyed about the movie more than Dug. He's easily my favorite Pixar character since Dory in Finding Nemo, and his squirrel joke was the funniest thing I heard all year. But really almost anything he said could qualify for that distinction. I guess in the last year comedy really went to the dogs. (As that last joke should illustrate.)
10.) Eastbound & Down
If you put all performances by all actors from all mediums from the last year in one big contest, I'd rank Danny McBride’s behind only Christoph Waltz’s. I’m dead serious. And the fact that I’m not alone in finding Esatbound & Down overall to be a work of genius makes me feel good for the world. Now if only they wouldn’t fuck it up by coming back for a second season. But that’s a rant for another time. For now, bask in the truly fresh and invigoratingly new wonder that was season one. And then after that, write the producers a letter begging them not to mess with perfection.
(Oh human nature/money, why must you ruin art for all of us?)
11.) The first half of Funny People
There’s no bigger fan of interestingly flawed passion projects than me. But Funny People isn’t interestingly flawed; it’s just simply two completely separate movies stuck together for no reason. And it’s a shame because not only was Adam Sandler's best work ever completely forgotten about come year-end awards time, but each movie on its own could have been interesting. As it stands though, the first half is by far the best thing Judd Apatow has ever done and a huge leap forward for him, and the second half is almost painfully bad, not necessarily in and of itself, but just because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything that came before it. Look Judd, I love Leslie Mann, and I love the two of you together, but next time you write a movie that doesn’t have a part for her in it, just leave it be no matter how much she might beg. Oh, and also no more Eric Bana under any circumstances. I mean...he’s not even Jewish!
12.) The Highline
Every time you think you’re done with New York it does something to pull you back in. This year that something was The Highline. It may not be pop culture related, but it was too big a development this year for too many people for me not to mention it. And for me at least, it revitalized a city that already felt pretty damn vitalized. Some other cities in the world must have been starting to think they were pretty hot shit, because The Highline is clearly just New York’s way of putting them in their place. So suck it other cities; we got the motherfuckin Highline.
13.) “I'm on a Boat”
If you learned nothing else in 2009 I hope you learned that this boat is REAL! Look, “Lazy Sunday” will always be the best because it was first. And “Dick in a Box” and “Motherlover” are pretty damn great as well. But for my money I’ll never like a digital short (or Incredibad song) more than “I'm on a Boat”. Maybe it’s just my serious weakness for white boy rap parodies. Or that fact that it led to the creation of this Wikipedia page (the song reached #9 on the New Zealand singles chart, who knew?). Or the fact that it led to the strangest Grammy nomination of all time (and that really saying something). Or the fact that it’s just a legitimately great song. But probably most of all because from now until the end of time no one will ever be able to be on a boat without referencing this song. And when they do, it will always get a laugh. (I hope)
14.) Up in the Air
Whoever said “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” clearly hadn’t seen Up in the Air. And if someone wrote a review of it without including the phrase “timely, yet timeless” then they aren’t very good at their job. And they should be fired.
15.) “I Do Not Hook Up”
After “Since U Been Gone” I didn’t think it was possible for my level of love for Kelly Clarkson to go any higher. I was wrong. And despite the title of the song I don’t view it as a song about sex, but as a song about respect and empowerment. I love it so much. And I would totally hook up with it.
It’s a song that makes me feel good – for myself and for the world. It’s just what we need. And it is almost solely responsible for my newest blog/project (launching soon…)
I know everyone seems like they’re partial to another song in the “pop song of the year” sweepstakes, but if you ask me if I think "I Do Not Hook Up" deserves the title I’ll nod my head like yeah.
16.) The making of Charlie’s dating profile from Always Sunny
If Charlie Day doesn’t win an Emmy for his work in “The Waitress is Getting Married” (spoiler alert: he won’t) then there is no justice in the world. The whole episode is just stellar, but the answers Charlie gives while making his dating profile cracked me up harder than anything else on TV this year. Milksteak FTW.
17.) Eating the Dinosaur - Chuck Klosterman
Reading Klosterman is like getting to have the kind of conversations I wish I could have, if only having in-depth conversations about the deeper meaning of Chris Gaines was something that people other than me were interested in. Sure Eating the Dinosaur may not be Klosterman’s master work but any book that has an essay comparing In Utero to The Branch Davidians automatically gets a gold star from me. Especially when said essay contains a paragraph like:
Oh, and also there’s this:
18.) The Onion - “Nations Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan : Let’s Move In Together”
Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
To take nothing away from the great folks at College Humor, but this was my favorite made-for-the-internet video of the year by a country mile. Much like I consider Annie Hall the perfect romantic comedy, this might be the perfect internet comedy video. The writing, acting, production values, content, and attention to detail are all flawless. I’ve analyzed this video the way some people have analyzed the Zapruder film and I just can’t find a single thing that I don’t absolutely love about it. But if I had to choose a favorite part it would be the way the anchor delivers the line “fine then”. Kills me every time.
19.) The musical number from (500) Days of Summer
If at gunpoint I had to choose my #1 favorite thing from all of 2009 this would probably be it.
(Why someone would ask me that question at gunpoint I don’t know. Perhaps I have an unrealistic idea of how much other people care about my opinions. But the fact that I write 5,000 word blog entries describing things I like should have told you that already.)
Who knew that Hall and Oates had written the “Singin in the Rain” of our generation? And if you think I don’t dance along to “You Make My Dreams Come True” whenever it comes on my iPod then you are sadly mistaken. What can I say, sometimes (okay a lot of times) it just feels good to be alive.
Alright, enough talking by me, just watch the damn thing:
(See there, I just made your day)
20.) Paul Rudd in I Love You Man
Sometimes you love something because of the talent and likeability of the creator. Other times you like something because it resonates with you on such a personal level that it feels like someone reached into you soul and then put it out there for all to see. This was both of those. Paul Rudd was playing a real life person, he just didn’t know it. (And he nailed the part by the way.)
21.) "Empire State of Mind II" on The Colbert Report
I've been very clear over the years about my status as a Daily Show guy. And The Daily Show had a typically great year including maybe their best moment ever in Jon’s takedown of Jim Cramer which I wrote about elsewhere. But with the possible exception of Jon’s segment on the Toy Hall of Fame, nothing in the TDS universe made me laugh harder than this Colbert clip.
Much like with “New York State of Mind” itself, it’s strange to me that this holds much appeal to anyone who doesn’t or hasn’t lived in the New York area. To anyone who doesn’t fit that description I don’t know how it would even be funny outside of “hey it’s Stephen Colbert rapping”. But to those who are, or have been, New Yorkers, it’s just a wonderfully smart, specific, and hilarious piece of writing. So as we on the coasts always say, fuck everyone else.
(Oh being an elitist East Coast snob, will you ever get old?)
22.) The lyrics to “Sexy Chick” by David Guetta
Anytime the Black Eyed Peas release an album and you can beat them out for Best So-Bad-They’re-Good Lyrics of the Year you know you’ve really done something special. And as a connoisseur of bad lyrics lemme tell you, David Guetta is really remarkable. If you haven’t had the pleasure (?) of hearing “Sexy Chick” watch this video and pay special attention to the chorus. For those who don’t want to do that much work, the chorus goes like this :
But I think the thing I “like” best about this is that his come-on to this girl he finds attractive appears, in essence, to be “you’re so attractive that you make me want to not be disrespectful to women”. How romantic! If for some reason this compliment didn’t lead straight to a marriage between David Guetta and said sexy chick, then one of you single ladies out there needs to snatch him up. Because he is quite the catch. And if you’re lucky he might even describe you in non-disrespectful terms. (Insert swoon)
23.) VH1 Storytellers – “Kanye West”
It couldn’t be a best of the year list without a mention of Kanye. My love and defense of all things Mr. West is well documented. In fact “Kanye” is the most frequently occurring tag word on this blog. So there is really nothing left to say that I haven’t already said better somewhere else. But if you want to see/hear Kanye at his inscrutable, controversial, fascinating, and brilliant best then get the DVD/CD of this show. It comes out this month.
24.) South Park - “Fishsticks”
As a counterpoint to my Kanye love, there’s this
I always feel like I should like South Park a lot more than I do. While I have the utmost respect and appreciation for what they do in theory, in practice most episodes of the show leave me wanting. But at least once a season they put it all together and make an episode that is just about as perfect a piece of television as there will ever be. This was season 13’s. When you can actually humble Kanye you know you’ve done something special. Long live the power of comedy!
25.) The politics of Avatar
Speaking of things I respect and appreciate but don’t exactly love…
I think Avatar is a tremendous achievement, and I’m glad to see a mega-blockbuster that’s also a singular vision and a true passion project for its director. It doesn’t feel overly test screened or focus grouped or dumbed down. And it’s a tremendous step forward for technology and viewing it made for a surprisingly refreshing return to old timey event movie going where you got tickets in advance, got to the theater early, waited in line to get in, bought snacks, the whole nine yards. But despite its legitimate and considerable merits, sci-fi/action just ain’t really my bag personally. But radical left-wing politics on the other hand are most definitely my bag. And having the “bad guys” in the movie say things like “shock and awe” and “fight them here so they don’t come fight us where we live” warmed the cockles of my heart. You can 3D your CGI all you want, but to me what feels truly revolutionary is the fact that kids when they are playing with their Avatar action figures will be trying to kill the US military. The fact that James Cameron is getting all of America to sit through a three hour takedown of Bush era policies and American imperialism is nothing short of remarkable. I don’t know how he is getting away with it, or really even why he wanted to, but I love it with all my gay-marriage-abortion-state-run-health-care loving heart. Hopefully Cameron’s politics will one day seem as commonplace as his technology will.
And lastly, because 2009 is also the last year of the decade I’ll say this - you want to talk about how far we’ve come this decade? Nine years after 9/11 the biggest movie of the year is one that sides with the terrorists. Who’d have thunk it?
Potential Best of 2010
-Lady Gaga at the Grammys
-Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes
-Toy Story 3
-US v. England in the World Cup (aka The Revolutionary War II)
-Greenberg
First off though:
The Worst of 2009
I don’t want to harp on the negative because there's already too much of that on the internet, but lord knows there were some pretty awful things in 2009:
-“TiK ToK” – seriously who the hell wants a guy who looks like Mick Jagger, he’s like 70.
-the flannel revival – no one looked good in flannel the first time around okay?
-everything about the Twilight Saga – what am I missing here?
-“According To You” – don’t even get me started…
But definitely the worst thing about 2009 was death. As is true every year, death really sucked. But it sucked even worse than usual in 2009. And from Michael Jackson to Chris Brown’s career to Tiger Woods’ dignity it didn’t discriminate. It went on a wild rampage destroying everything in its path. By the time Britney Murphy died we were all so burned out that we didn’t even bat an eyelash. Here's hoping that death soon becomes “like, so 2009”.
Things that just missed the "Best Of" cut
I wanted to make this list things that everyone could have experienced. I had some great pop culture experiences in 2009 but if they weren’t potentially universal experiences what’s the point of commenting on them? Who wants to read a bunch of things that happened only to me personally? Nevertheless some things that didn’t make the “universal experience” cut that are worth mentioning:
-Jay-Z at APW opening his set with “No Sleep Til Brooklyn”
-Touching Thomas Mars at the Rumsey Playfield Phoenix concert
-“Hey Jude” at Citi Field
So now without further ado:
The Top 25 of 2009 (in no particular order):
1.) Movie Trailers
A wise person (or possibly a Star Trek character) once said that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. Well, while the last year in film was quite the year for having, having couldn’t hold a candle to wanting.
Sometimes the having lived up to the wanting:
Up in the Air
(500) Days of Summer
Other times not so much:
Watchmen
And in some cases we still have to wait for a few more months before a judgment can be made:
Greenberg
But regardless, this felt like the year that movie trailers got so good that they started to transcend the movies themselves. And if you don’t believe me then may I present exhibit A:
Others of note:
A Serious Man
Star Trek
Moon
2.) Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
As a long time Phoenix fan I’m not quite sure how I feel about the past year. On the one hand, I’ve never understood why Phoenix wasn’t more popular. And it’s been shocking to see how many of the incredibly music-savy people I know weren’t even familiar with Phoenix until this year. I’m always at least a step behind on these things, so I had just kind of assumed Phoenix was already huge within the music snob community. But apparently not. So it’s good that they’re finally getting their due. Because they deserve all the love and accolades they can get. On the other hand, the Cadillac commercial, and the new douchebag fans coming out of the woodwork, and the having to share them with people who don’t even know all the words to “Consolation Prizes” (the horror!), is a new experience that I’m still working through. But believe me, I know it could be worse. I could be a long-time Kings of Leon fan.
Regardless, none of this would have happened if Thomas Mars and the boys hadn’t put together their finest and most hit laden album yet. It’s great from begin to end. And it’s also the year’s best. By a wide margin. Well done boys. Merci beaucoup.
3.) The “Bad Romance” video
In the past five years I have probably watched a music video ten times. And eight of those times were me watching this video on repeat. There’s much (MUCH) more to come on Lady Gaga on this very blog in the near future, but for now lemme just say that, like all right thinking people, I am decidedly pro-Gaga. Just in this one song there are so many thing to love – the random French words, the inexplicable lyrical Hitchcock homage, the chorus of nonsense sounds, and the fact that she was somehow able to beat out “Wilco (the song)” for best song of 2009 to incorporate the artist's name into the lyrics (coming in dead last, as always: Fergie). But the video really takes the whole thing to the next level. Apparently music videos can still feel fresh and vital and exciting. Who knew? It’s like its 1983 all over again. (In more ways than one. But more on that next time….)
4.) Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds
I’d be hard pressed to come up with someone who deserves their Oscar more than Christoph Waltz deserves the one he is going to win this year. As far as supporting actors go, Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, Martin Landau in Ed Wood, Denzel Washington in Glory, and maybe Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men are the only ones from the relatively recent past that would be in the discussion. But regardless of where he ranks all time, Christoph Waltz was easily the best thing about easily one the year’s best movies. His performance left me giddy with excitement, inspired, and in awe. So while the movie as a whole is worthy of the highest of praise, Christoph earned a spot on this list all of his own. So well done sir. Now go out and buy yourself an “er”.
5.) Twelfth Night (Shakespeare in the Park)
I had to include at least one piece of theater and this one was not only one of the best, but also one of the most easily accessible in every way possible. It was a surprising production not just because Anne Hathaway seemed like she had been speaking verse her whole life, or because (theater nerd alert!) I felt certain I would never see a better production of Twelfth Night than Donmar Warehouse’s 2003 production at BAM, but mostly because in a cast with more Tonys than an Italian wedding, little known Hamish Linklater didn’t just steal the show, he committed grand larceny. I’ll never see a better Andrew Aguecheek. Or see a Twelfth Night with better music. If music be the food of love, then let Twelfth Night’s play on forever.
6.) NBC Thursday Nights
Even in the heyday of Must See TV NBC was never able to produce a solid two straight hours of comedy. So the fact that they have now been able to accomplish that feat is definitely worth recognizing. In fact let’s take a closer look:
Community – It may not be getting the most “best new comedy” buzz, but to me Community is way better than Modern Family.
(although to be fair, I’ve never seen even a second of Modern Family)
Parks and Rec – I’d just like to say that I’ve been on board since day one. I know everyone is clamoring to get on the bandwagon now, but lemme just say the show hasn’t changed that drastically since when everyone thought it was terrible and should be cancelled. I could say I told you so, but since I’m feeling magnanimous I’ll just say welcome to the party. It’s good to have you. And let’s all work to get Amy Poehler, Chris Pratt, and Louis C.K. their Emmys already.
(Also, if you haven’t seen Paul Schneider in Bright Star yet, you really should. The fact that he’s the same guy from Parks and Rec will blow your mind)
The Office – I know this started out as Michael Scott’s show, and then became Dwight’s show, and then became Jim and Pam’s show. And while all of them still have their integral place on the show, to me this is now clearly Andy Bernard’s show. You can pretty much gauge how good an episode is going to be by how much Andy Bernard it has in it. Also, he’s got to best one of the best/worst things to ever happen to Cornell.
30 Rock – Alec Baldwin = overrated, Jane Krakowski = underrated, Tracy Morgan = rated properly, the “30 Rock isn’t good anymore” contingent = needing to be punched in the face
7.) “15 Step” and “Swagga Like Us” at the Grammys
The Grammys are as terrible at recognizing great music as they are terrific at showcasing it. And it’s a shame that the former precludes most people from experiencing the latter. And since the Grammys are at least 20 years behind the times, they pull their videos from You Tube meaning I can’t rectify that problem for you. But you’ll just have to trust me that Radiohead performing “15 Step” with the USC marching band, and a seriously pregnant M.I.A. sharing a stage with Kanye, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and T.I. for “Swagga Like Us” were both electric performances.
8.) The new presenter format at The Oscars
While the awards themselves were hit or miss (Sean Penn, Heath Ledger, Penelope Cruz – yea!, Kate Winslet, all things Slumdog Millionaire – meh) last year’s Oscars show was terrific. Of course I think that every year, but this time I don’t think I'm alone. The way past winners paid personal tribute to each of the nominees was touching and wonderful and heartwarming and so of course it will never happen again. There are new producers and they’ve already implied that they’re scrapping that idea. And since the James Cameron show ensures that ratings will be through the roof, whatever format the show has this year will be the one it will have for the foreseeable future. So thanks for coming nominees who aren’t Jeff Bridges, Monique, Christoph Waltz, and Carey Mulligan/Meryl Streep, but a short film clip is all the recognition you're gonna get this year. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted….
9.) Dug from Up
When I said in the summer “I guarantee you there won’t be a better movie this year than Up” I didn’t realize that I had forgotten to add “in the Air” to the end of that sentence. But no matter. Because plain old Up is still a solid second. And while the opening montage deserves all the props it has gotten, there’s nothing I enjoyed about the movie more than Dug. He's easily my favorite Pixar character since Dory in Finding Nemo, and his squirrel joke was the funniest thing I heard all year. But really almost anything he said could qualify for that distinction. I guess in the last year comedy really went to the dogs. (As that last joke should illustrate.)
10.) Eastbound & Down
If you put all performances by all actors from all mediums from the last year in one big contest, I'd rank Danny McBride’s behind only Christoph Waltz’s. I’m dead serious. And the fact that I’m not alone in finding Esatbound & Down overall to be a work of genius makes me feel good for the world. Now if only they wouldn’t fuck it up by coming back for a second season. But that’s a rant for another time. For now, bask in the truly fresh and invigoratingly new wonder that was season one. And then after that, write the producers a letter begging them not to mess with perfection.
(Oh human nature/money, why must you ruin art for all of us?)
11.) The first half of Funny People
There’s no bigger fan of interestingly flawed passion projects than me. But Funny People isn’t interestingly flawed; it’s just simply two completely separate movies stuck together for no reason. And it’s a shame because not only was Adam Sandler's best work ever completely forgotten about come year-end awards time, but each movie on its own could have been interesting. As it stands though, the first half is by far the best thing Judd Apatow has ever done and a huge leap forward for him, and the second half is almost painfully bad, not necessarily in and of itself, but just because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything that came before it. Look Judd, I love Leslie Mann, and I love the two of you together, but next time you write a movie that doesn’t have a part for her in it, just leave it be no matter how much she might beg. Oh, and also no more Eric Bana under any circumstances. I mean...he’s not even Jewish!
12.) The Highline
Every time you think you’re done with New York it does something to pull you back in. This year that something was The Highline. It may not be pop culture related, but it was too big a development this year for too many people for me not to mention it. And for me at least, it revitalized a city that already felt pretty damn vitalized. Some other cities in the world must have been starting to think they were pretty hot shit, because The Highline is clearly just New York’s way of putting them in their place. So suck it other cities; we got the motherfuckin Highline.
13.) “I'm on a Boat”
If you learned nothing else in 2009 I hope you learned that this boat is REAL! Look, “Lazy Sunday” will always be the best because it was first. And “Dick in a Box” and “Motherlover” are pretty damn great as well. But for my money I’ll never like a digital short (or Incredibad song) more than “I'm on a Boat”. Maybe it’s just my serious weakness for white boy rap parodies. Or that fact that it led to the creation of this Wikipedia page (the song reached #9 on the New Zealand singles chart, who knew?). Or the fact that it led to the strangest Grammy nomination of all time (and that really saying something). Or the fact that it’s just a legitimately great song. But probably most of all because from now until the end of time no one will ever be able to be on a boat without referencing this song. And when they do, it will always get a laugh. (I hope)
14.) Up in the Air
Whoever said “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” clearly hadn’t seen Up in the Air. And if someone wrote a review of it without including the phrase “timely, yet timeless” then they aren’t very good at their job. And they should be fired.
15.) “I Do Not Hook Up”
After “Since U Been Gone” I didn’t think it was possible for my level of love for Kelly Clarkson to go any higher. I was wrong. And despite the title of the song I don’t view it as a song about sex, but as a song about respect and empowerment. I love it so much. And I would totally hook up with it.
It’s a song that makes me feel good – for myself and for the world. It’s just what we need. And it is almost solely responsible for my newest blog/project (launching soon…)
I know everyone seems like they’re partial to another song in the “pop song of the year” sweepstakes, but if you ask me if I think "I Do Not Hook Up" deserves the title I’ll nod my head like yeah.
16.) The making of Charlie’s dating profile from Always Sunny
If Charlie Day doesn’t win an Emmy for his work in “The Waitress is Getting Married” (spoiler alert: he won’t) then there is no justice in the world. The whole episode is just stellar, but the answers Charlie gives while making his dating profile cracked me up harder than anything else on TV this year. Milksteak FTW.
17.) Eating the Dinosaur - Chuck Klosterman
Reading Klosterman is like getting to have the kind of conversations I wish I could have, if only having in-depth conversations about the deeper meaning of Chris Gaines was something that people other than me were interested in. Sure Eating the Dinosaur may not be Klosterman’s master work but any book that has an essay comparing In Utero to The Branch Davidians automatically gets a gold star from me. Especially when said essay contains a paragraph like:
“So in this way I suppose Cobain and Koresh are very different. The former failed at his attempt to separate his true followers from the rest of America, and he destroyed himself for that failure. The latter was destroyed by others for succeeding at the same goal”.See, those are the kinds of thoughts I wish I had and also the kind of sentences I wish I could drop in casual conversation. Sadly that is not the world we live in. But it’s the world Klosterman’s writing allows me to escape to.
Oh, and also there’s this:
“(Sasha Fierce) did not make her personality more complex; mostly it reminded people that Beyonce doesn’t really have any personality at all. She loves Christ, she loves her husband, she sings reasonably well, and she’s beautiful. That’s the whole package. Becoming a different person only served to make that all the more obvious.”Be still my heart….
18.) The Onion - “Nations Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan : Let’s Move In Together”
Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
To take nothing away from the great folks at College Humor, but this was my favorite made-for-the-internet video of the year by a country mile. Much like I consider Annie Hall the perfect romantic comedy, this might be the perfect internet comedy video. The writing, acting, production values, content, and attention to detail are all flawless. I’ve analyzed this video the way some people have analyzed the Zapruder film and I just can’t find a single thing that I don’t absolutely love about it. But if I had to choose a favorite part it would be the way the anchor delivers the line “fine then”. Kills me every time.
19.) The musical number from (500) Days of Summer
If at gunpoint I had to choose my #1 favorite thing from all of 2009 this would probably be it.
(Why someone would ask me that question at gunpoint I don’t know. Perhaps I have an unrealistic idea of how much other people care about my opinions. But the fact that I write 5,000 word blog entries describing things I like should have told you that already.)
Who knew that Hall and Oates had written the “Singin in the Rain” of our generation? And if you think I don’t dance along to “You Make My Dreams Come True” whenever it comes on my iPod then you are sadly mistaken. What can I say, sometimes (okay a lot of times) it just feels good to be alive.
Alright, enough talking by me, just watch the damn thing:
(See there, I just made your day)
20.) Paul Rudd in I Love You Man
Sometimes you love something because of the talent and likeability of the creator. Other times you like something because it resonates with you on such a personal level that it feels like someone reached into you soul and then put it out there for all to see. This was both of those. Paul Rudd was playing a real life person, he just didn’t know it. (And he nailed the part by the way.)
21.) "Empire State of Mind II" on The Colbert Report
I've been very clear over the years about my status as a Daily Show guy. And The Daily Show had a typically great year including maybe their best moment ever in Jon’s takedown of Jim Cramer which I wrote about elsewhere. But with the possible exception of Jon’s segment on the Toy Hall of Fame, nothing in the TDS universe made me laugh harder than this Colbert clip.
Much like with “New York State of Mind” itself, it’s strange to me that this holds much appeal to anyone who doesn’t or hasn’t lived in the New York area. To anyone who doesn’t fit that description I don’t know how it would even be funny outside of “hey it’s Stephen Colbert rapping”. But to those who are, or have been, New Yorkers, it’s just a wonderfully smart, specific, and hilarious piece of writing. So as we on the coasts always say, fuck everyone else.
(Oh being an elitist East Coast snob, will you ever get old?)
22.) The lyrics to “Sexy Chick” by David Guetta
Anytime the Black Eyed Peas release an album and you can beat them out for Best So-Bad-They’re-Good Lyrics of the Year you know you’ve really done something special. And as a connoisseur of bad lyrics lemme tell you, David Guetta is really remarkable. If you haven’t had the pleasure (?) of hearing “Sexy Chick” watch this video and pay special attention to the chorus. For those who don’t want to do that much work, the chorus goes like this :
“She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen beforeI mean there’s just so much to work with here I don’t even know where to begin. He’s refers to all the women in his neighborhood as whores and then literally one line later is trying to find a way to describe a woman without being disrespectful. As if this were an incredibly difficult task. And then after searching for that way, he apparently decides on “damn girl, you’se a sexy chick”. Because that’s generally the absolute most classy and respectful thing you can say to a woman. So objective achieved David Guetta.
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
The way that booty movin' I can't take no more
Have to stop what I'm doin so I can pull her close
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
Damn girl
Damn you'se a sexy chick
A sexy chick
Damn you'se a sexy chick”
But I think the thing I “like” best about this is that his come-on to this girl he finds attractive appears, in essence, to be “you’re so attractive that you make me want to not be disrespectful to women”. How romantic! If for some reason this compliment didn’t lead straight to a marriage between David Guetta and said sexy chick, then one of you single ladies out there needs to snatch him up. Because he is quite the catch. And if you’re lucky he might even describe you in non-disrespectful terms. (Insert swoon)
23.) VH1 Storytellers – “Kanye West”
It couldn’t be a best of the year list without a mention of Kanye. My love and defense of all things Mr. West is well documented. In fact “Kanye” is the most frequently occurring tag word on this blog. So there is really nothing left to say that I haven’t already said better somewhere else. But if you want to see/hear Kanye at his inscrutable, controversial, fascinating, and brilliant best then get the DVD/CD of this show. It comes out this month.
24.) South Park - “Fishsticks”
As a counterpoint to my Kanye love, there’s this
I always feel like I should like South Park a lot more than I do. While I have the utmost respect and appreciation for what they do in theory, in practice most episodes of the show leave me wanting. But at least once a season they put it all together and make an episode that is just about as perfect a piece of television as there will ever be. This was season 13’s. When you can actually humble Kanye you know you’ve done something special. Long live the power of comedy!
25.) The politics of Avatar
Speaking of things I respect and appreciate but don’t exactly love…
I think Avatar is a tremendous achievement, and I’m glad to see a mega-blockbuster that’s also a singular vision and a true passion project for its director. It doesn’t feel overly test screened or focus grouped or dumbed down. And it’s a tremendous step forward for technology and viewing it made for a surprisingly refreshing return to old timey event movie going where you got tickets in advance, got to the theater early, waited in line to get in, bought snacks, the whole nine yards. But despite its legitimate and considerable merits, sci-fi/action just ain’t really my bag personally. But radical left-wing politics on the other hand are most definitely my bag. And having the “bad guys” in the movie say things like “shock and awe” and “fight them here so they don’t come fight us where we live” warmed the cockles of my heart. You can 3D your CGI all you want, but to me what feels truly revolutionary is the fact that kids when they are playing with their Avatar action figures will be trying to kill the US military. The fact that James Cameron is getting all of America to sit through a three hour takedown of Bush era policies and American imperialism is nothing short of remarkable. I don’t know how he is getting away with it, or really even why he wanted to, but I love it with all my gay-marriage-abortion-state-run-health-care loving heart. Hopefully Cameron’s politics will one day seem as commonplace as his technology will.
And lastly, because 2009 is also the last year of the decade I’ll say this - you want to talk about how far we’ve come this decade? Nine years after 9/11 the biggest movie of the year is one that sides with the terrorists. Who’d have thunk it?
Potential Best of 2010
-Lady Gaga at the Grammys
-Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes
-Toy Story 3
-US v. England in the World Cup (aka The Revolutionary War II)
-Greenberg
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