Putting your hands up
Go ahead, try putting your hands up right now. Not that fun was it? Now wave them side to side. You just feel foolish don’t you? That because you’re not at a concert. If you were, then what you just did would have been the must fun thing that has ever happened. Well other than waving them like you just don’t care. That shit’s orgasmic.
Following directions
“Put your hands together”
Okay
“Get up”
Okay
“Get down”
Okay
“Go kill a hobo”
Sounds good
Being asked to sing
If I was walking down the street and you pointed a microphone in my direction and asked me to sing my reaction would best be described as abject terror. But at a concert, yes I will gladly sing a verse of any random song loudly and passionately in the direction of your outstretched microphone. And I’ll love every second of it.
Having bodily problems
“My feet hurt, I have no voice, and there’s a loud ringing in my ears. What a great night!”
Geography
Non-concert situation:
-Musician: (says out loud name of current location)
-Other people: Yes, we know where we are located. Why did you just say that out loud? Do you think we’re lost and/or idiots?
At a concert:
-Musician: (says out loud name of current location)
-Other people: HOLY SHIT!!! He just mentioned the name of the place where we are located! WOOOHOOO! That excites me!! Very much!!!!
And heaven forbid someone in the audience is from the same place as the band is. All pandemonium will break loose.
Cigarette Lighters
“Hey look, I’m holding a flaming object dangerously close to my fingers! It’s really the best way I can think of to express the beauty of this song. Isn’t it amazing?”
Hipster douchebags who are too cool to dance, scream, or generally show any emotion at all other than mild annoyance
No, actually they’re still pretty loathsome.
