I am the Eggman

This past Wednesday was the 24th anniversary of John Lennon’s death. While spending the day at Strawberry Fields celebrating his life I got to thinking: Mark David Chapman is the best thing that ever happened to John Lennon. Getting killed did more for his life than his life could have ever done for itself. Need proof? Well, I present Sir Paul McCartney.

Now, the whole “premature death as image and career enhancer” argument is of course nothing new. Ask Tupac about how well it works. No really, go find him in whatever cave he is hiding out and making music in and ask him. I’d be curious to hear what he has to say. Maybe he’ll even address it on his next album…Anyway, the point is, death was clearly one of John’s best career moves - that much is indisputable. On a scale of good career moves from 1-10 with 1 being meeting Yoko Ono and 10 being forming the Beatles, his death ranks a solid 9.8. Plus, it couldn’t have been planed any better if his publicity team had dreamed it up themselves (if such a thing as a publicity team had existed back then). The voice of the 60’s and the Woodstock generation dying just as the 80’s dawned, was symbolically genius. Yet at the same time, the whole thing was so unexpected, so shocking, and so sad that it rocked people to their very cores, which was after all the purpose of John’s life and work. So in a sense in death, he achieved the greatest moment of his life. (Death as performance art, Yoko would be so proud…that hit man was money well spent…)

In dealing with his death the media and fans alike spent extensive time dealing with the greater social context of his life - his role as the voice of his generation, the ultimate embodiment of the sixties, and an emblematic spokesman for the common man. This intense focus during that time forever cemented those roles as the central tenets of his iconography and linked the symbolism of “John Lennon” inseparably with the reality of John Lennon the human being. This is where the genius of his death really becomes apparent, because innocently or not, this iconography was what Lennon was selling, and his death became the ultimate marketing tool.

It was however, a lie.

Well now lie might be harsh as it seems to imply malicious intent, but digging to the heart of the matter, Lennon’s self-created iconography is one that is inaccurate. A long way from being the common man, he was about as far from "common" as one could get (and that isn’t necessarily a complete compliment). He wasn’t one of “us” and didn’t speak for an entire generation. He said so as much himself if you ever took the time to stop and actually listen to the words of "Working Class Hero". But you don’t have to take his word for it. You can simply review the evidence…

John was addicted to heroin, had several known homosexual affairs, believed he was the messiah, and was married to a Yoko Ono - a hideous satanic creature who had him more whipped than any person in the history of mankind. Hell, Kunta Kinte was less whipped than he was. Does any of that sound like your common man to you?

Should I go on? Okay, I will.

John’s first non-Beatles album featured ambient noise and random sounds and featured him posed nude on the cover. He went through a period in which he basically locked himself in his apartment and broke off most all contact with the outside world. He was considered by the government to be a dangerous radical and was being heavily watched by them at the time of his death. He reinvented himself and his music constantly remaining always accessible yet always wrapped in mystery. Any of this sound like your Average Joe Schmo to you? I mean, I dunno about you, but I’m still working on inventing myself for the first time.

Want more? Okay.

John left his wife in the middle of his marriage for a year and a half, became a bachelor again, was wilder than ever before, and then when he was done, came back to her and she acted like nothing ever happened. He was a horrible parent, completely neglected his kid, then he gets a second chance and becomes a stay at home dad, and the model father. To be John seems to be to have your cake and eat it too. Usually in OUR life though we don’t even HAVE our cake, let alone eat it. We are watching our weight.

So it seems to me then that John isn’t really one of “us” at all. But him and his life sure do sound neat. He is dark, mysterious, endlessly fascinating, passionate, open, witty, and most of all, cool. He made art that touched people lives, and came as close to changing the world as music ever will. He was loved by critics and by the masses seemingly without even trying. He could have sex with any woman he wanted and hang out with any guy too. He had the courage of his convictions, and stood up and fought for whatever he believed in, regardless of what others thought or no matter how crazy or idealistic it seemed. We never saw him grow old and so he maintained his youthful vigor up until the end of his life….This all doesn’t sound like a description of who we are though. But all this does sound familiar.

It sounds like a description of who we want to be.

But alas, we are not John nor will we ever be. We actively want to be loved and respected. We would never risk making edgy avant-garde music that would potentially turn off fans and critics alike. We have strong views but we don’t fight for them like we should, lest we alienate others. Plus, we’re lazy. We’re not that cool as a whole, but boy do we try to be. We’d like to live a crazy life of adventure and carelessness, but hey there are bills to pay and we have to be responsible. A lack of restraint and order leads to too much uncertainty. We’ll chase our dreams and ideals for a little bit, but then its time to settle down and lead a safe, normal life. Our family is more important than our art or our career. We would like to be raw and emotional, but deep down we’re sappy romantics at heart. We would like to say the first thing that comes into our head, but we usually wind up censoring ourselves. We care a lot about what people think about us. We don’t age well. We get outbid for the rights to our own music by a surgically reconstructed albino pedophile.

That’s right, we are not John; “we” are Paul.

You don’t want to believe me I know. But Paul is the voice of his generation and of “us” just as much, if not more, than John was and is. Yes John has the mother issues, the directness, the hippie mentality, the common man appeal, etc.. Yes, Paul seems distant, inaccessible, sappy, and out of touch. But lets face it: if you were a former Beatle you would be the one writing “Silly Love Songs” with your wife and friends and playing at the Halftime Show of the Super Bowl, not the one getting into violent bar fights, starting your own religion, and dead by age 40.

Perhaps I can’t speak for you though.

Perhaps I should just let your mirror do me speaking for me.

Because you see, it’s pretty undeniable: Paul is who we are. John is who we want to be.

We are the eggman.

We are not the walrus.



Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
1.) FACEBOOK
2.) The Band - "The Weight"
3.) The Postal Service - "Sleeping In"
3 & 1/2.) Fountains of Wayne - "Valley Winter Song"

Jesus is a Democrat

I've reached a new low. I am now reduced to posting class assignments in my journal. This is just sad. I don't have time to do a "proper"entry so this will have to suffice for now. The assignment was to write 2 two-minute arguments on any topic in the world. One had to be strictly a passion driven argument, while the other had to be driven only by reason. So I chose to make an argument that incorporated both of my two favorite topics: politics and religion. So, sorry to intrude on your fun, but we'll get back to the Ace of Base deconstruction next week (actually we wont but you get the point...). Anyway, here is an assignment I wrote for class.
That I have now posted online.
In my "journal".

Seriously, why are you friends with me?...

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REASON
During this past election I heard a lot of talk from Republicans about Christian morals and values, and so I went back and studied the Bible and the teachings of Jesus and was interested by what I found. The Bible supports first and foremost peace and love, yet 75% of people worldwide view George W. Bush as the single biggest threat to world peace. The Bible says thou shall not kill yet George W. Bush shattered the record for most executions by any governor in US History. Maybe George missed the part of the Bible where it says people should forgive their enemies and not using killing as a form of punishment. The Bible is clear about killing not be allowed in this way but it is perhaps less clear about it being used in self-defense, a loop-hole Republicans have tried to use to justify the war in Iraq. Yet, we attacked Iraq because we believed they had weapons of mass destruction or terrorist connections and that they intended to harm us, but it has now been proven that they had no weapons nor the capability to produce them and that they had no ties whatsoever to Al-Quida. Therefore attacking Iraq was no more self defense than it would be to kill a person because you suspected they had a gun that they might possibly use to shoot you. That's just cold blooded murder, and yet this is the policy the party of "moral values" chose to pursue. The Bible says love your neighbor as yourself, yet Republicans want to stop gay people from marrying. So would you not allow yourself to be married if you happened to be born gay? Jesus spent his life surrounded by prostitutes, tax-collectors, thieves, and even murderers. Yet Republicans seem to believe he would have hated homosexuals and opposed their right to marry. And if they claim opposition to gay marriage isn't based on hate because they do support the "separate yet equal" institution of civil unions, well then perhaps they should look back 50 years to another "separate yet equal" policy they supported- segregation- and tell me that too wasn't a policy based in hatred. They should also explain why Republicans have opposed all attempts to expand hate crimes laws to include homosexuals. The Bible says you should help those less fortunate than yourself. Yet, Republicans have always opposed affirmative action, welfare, and expansion of all similar government services. So much for Christian charity. Jesus was the ultimately radical revolutionary. So much so that he was killed because he posed too great a threat to the government and the status quo. He would have never supported the repression, regression, and aggression that define the current Republican agenda. Jesus supported peace, love and understanding. Jesus supported change, reform and progress. Jesus supported what are today liberal ideas. Therefore Jesus clearly would vote Democratic.

PASSION
Studies show that large numbers of those voting for George Bush in the last election voted for him because he and his party support "Christian values". Well that of course raises the interesting question of- if Jesus were alive today what would he support? How would he vote? What would Jesus do? Well, Jesus wouldn't kill. He wouldn't strap criminals to a chair and run electricity through their body until they die. Jesus wouldn't send his own people off to die brutal bloody violent deaths for vague and questionable reasons. He wouldn't bomb innocent women and children. He wouldn't kill civilians in a country that had done nothing to harm him. He wouldn't kill abortion clinic workers, doctors who help people end their lives, or homosexuals. Jesus wouldn't kill ANYONE because Jesus said THOU SHALL NOT KILL. Jesus said FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES. How would Jesus vote? He would vote for the side that loves humanity not hates it. Yet Republicans are filled with hate. They hate homosexuals just like they hated African Americans a generation ago. They hate free speech and dissent. They hate anyone different from themselves. As Bush once said "you're either with us or against us." You think Jesus had any hate in his heart? You think Jesus would have hated the poor and oppressed? You think he would have voted for tax cuts only for the rich? Would he have opposed raising the minimum wage? Opposed affirmative action? Opposed welfare, Medicare, and social security? Opposed love, tolerance, responsibility and compassion to side with selfishness, bigotry, ignorance, and hate? NO! If Jesus came back today and saw what was being done in his name he'd never stop throwing up. He'd lash out against the hypocrisy and corruption of those in charge just like he did in the Temple in Jerusalem almost 2000 years ago. He'd detest that his message of love, peace and tolerance has been twisted and then hijacked for use by a group of intolerant fear-mongering, hypocritical, bigots. He would see that those who CLAIM to be most faithful to his teachings are those most worthy of burning in hell where they should be tortured by the ghosts of dead Iraqi children, and the soldiers they sent off to senseless brutal slaughter. He would see all this and he would vote for change. He would vote for love and compassion. He would vote Democratic.