There are few things better than a day job that forces you to listen to a constant heady brew of Z100, kids songs, and other people’s iPod playlists, as it provides you much fodder for humorous (or not) thoughts and observations about music and a chance to do another installment of the feature that was the impetus for starting this blog.
(As always, thanks to Eryck Tait for his contributions.)
-I think a better song lyric than “put your hands up like you just don’t care” would be “put your hands up like you care very passionately about this song”. I just don’t understand why so many musicians are so pro-apathy.
-Okay, if you don’t understand a single word that somebody says and yet you have no qualms about drinking that person’s wine, then you’re just a dick. Even if that "person" might happen to be a bullfrog.
-Consider the fact that 1999 will for today kids always be a song about the past. Crazy huh?
-If Billy Joel is right and when you love someone you’re always insecure, then I guess I love everyone in the world.
-“I’m like a performer, the dance floor is my stage”? Um, Britney, I’m not sure you understand exactly how a simile works…
-Speaking of Britney…
I think it’s still a little ambiguous. Am I or am I not a womanizer? You really need to be more clear on that.
-Dear lead pussycat doll,
I’m a little confused by you using the words “hot” and “like me” in the same sentence. I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?
-Really though, who does give a fuck about an oxford comma?
-So that Chris Brown song No Air really takes on new resonance now does it?
(Too soon?)
-Seriously, why does the black one gotta be Scary Spice?
-You really haven’t lived until you’ve listened to edited versions of Nelly songs with 5-year olds.
-Like all right thinking people, I hate I Kissed A Girl. But my main complain with it isn’t that it’s too risqué, it’s that it’s too conservative. Seriously what world are you living in where your boyfriend would mind that you kissed another girl? The only thing he would be mad about is that it wasn’t videotaped. And “that’s not what good girls do, that’s not how they should behave”? What year is this, 1872? I guarantee you there’s not a girl alive over the age of 22 who hasn’t kissed another girl. That’s exactly what good girls do. It’s called sophomore year of college. What’s Katy Perry’s follow up single – I Crammed For My Mid-Terms?
-If Cruela De Vil doesn’t scare you no evil thing will? That might be overstating Cruella de Vil’s scariness somewhat. For example I would argue that Nazi Vampires would be scarier than Cruella de Vil, but maybe that’s just me.
-Finally here’s a fun activity for you. You know how you hate Bon Jovi’s You Want To Make A Memory so much that it makes you want to douse yourself with gasoline and light yourself on fire? Well no more! Because next time you hear it, listen to it as though it were written about Richie Sambora. Imagine that’s it’s secretly Jon Bon Jovi’s song for his lover, Richie Sambora, and it becomes maybe the greatest song ever written. If while listening to it in this context you don’t find Richie’s backing vocals to be the very definition of unintentional comedy then I really don’t know what to tell you. So really, give the song a listen with this thought in mind. You can thank me later.
