Thoughts Had While Listening To The Radio II

*With each passing day it really becomes clearer doesn’t it? Biggie was much better than Tupac.

*People always ridicule pop singers for being artificial, processed, untalented, unauthentic, media creations. These same people probably also like hip-hop. I have yet to ever really hear the irony of this commented on, because although hip-hop is all about “keeping it real” isn’t it really pretty much as processed and artificial as pop these days, only instead of featuring attractive white teenagers singing about love it features African American (black) people rapping about murder, sex, and “bling-bling” (a great term if there ever was one…)? I mean just look at the idea of “bling-bling” for example. Most of the raps are always about what possessions someone has. Last time I checked being completely superficial and surface was why pop music is so “whack”, yet superficiality seems to be what hip-hop these days is all about. And last time I checked almost no rapper plays their own instruments, or plays any instruments period for that matter, nor do they produce their own beats. So if Britney Spears is criticized for not making her own songs or playing her own instruments then why is Ludacris artistically praised when all he does for his songs is make up three verses of rhyming words (not very well might I add)? And you’re telling me rappers these days don’t have images and personas that are as artificial and manufactured as pop stars? When you get down to it the only difference between Ashlee Simpson and 50 Cent, is that he’s been shot nine times and she should be. Sure Jay-Z is actually from “the streets” and Avril Lavigne isn’t from, well, wherever punks are from, but isn’t it all marketing anyway? This of course isn’t to say there’s not some truly great hip-hop because of course there is, but its all just something to think about I guess.

*If radio stations just played commercials for as many minutes as they spent telling us about how they are “commercial free” I think we’d all be better off.

*So apparently the new thing for “alternative rock” bands to do is record cheesy ballads that decidedly do not rock. I’m guessing these bands saw the success of “The Reason” by Hoobastank and thought, “hey we can do that”. While they were indeed correct, because of course who wouldn’t be able to write a song as “good” as "The Reason", the thought they should have really had was “do we want to do that?”. I think, as a general rule in life, anything inspired by a band named Hoobastank is a bad idea. I mean Hoobastank? Really? Lets look at that name for a second fellas. We’ve got “Hooba” as in, well, nothing, and “stank” as in, a really stupid word. So there you have it folks. “Nothingareallystupidword”: the face of faceless rock in the year 2004.

*As “Lil’ Flip” approaches middle age will he become just plain “Flip”?

*Is there anything more fun in the world then providing running commentary to go along with the song “Leave (Get Out)” by JoJo? (Well besides listening to that voice that shouts out random words in the background that is). Of course the key to this game is to remember that JoJo is 13. Yes, 13. Knowing this information provides one with a wealth of material to use in this activity. For example: If she is telling him to “get out” does that mean they were alone at her house together without adult supervision? And how is he going to “leave” exactly? Ride his bike? Call his mom to come pick him up? When she says “you promised me forever” was that maybe in retrospect a bit shortsighted on his part? And when she says “boy, I gave up everything I had” what exactly does this entail? 12 dollars, some shoes, and several outfits from Express? The possibilities for commentary are truly endless. Gather your friends around and play along. I’m telling you, you can’t beat it for sheer entertainment value.

*Speaking of asking questions, is there a better five seconds or so on the radio right now than when Jadakiss asks “why did Bush knock down the towers” and “why (Kobe) kiss that whore”? Every time I hear it I always think, “oh no he just didn’t”. But then I realize that “oh yes he just did”. And that I’m white.

*Finally, just in case you missed the memo, because I know I did, Brandy is now “cool” and “urban” and “possessing a personality”. So I guess that finally settles once and for all the great debate of the late 90’s. The boy was hers.