Let's get started
(Two quick notes:
-Unlike in years past these are not ranked in any way. The order is totally random.
-There are plenty of things I didn’t get the chance to experience but would have probably made the list - Book of Mormon, Bossypants, the Watch the Throne tour, to name a few - so if your favorites arent here don't be outraged. I probably just haven't gotten around to them yet)
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1. The chorus to “Pumped Up Kicks”
Try to get it out of your head. I dare you.
2. Hot Coffee
This might shock you, so I hope you're sitting down, but there are corporate interests in this country who are pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into keeping you misinformed and uneducated enough to vote against your own best interests. And politicians are involved in this "conspiracy" as well. Who ever heard of such a terrible thing!
This superb HBO documentary about the woman who sued McDonalds for her coffee being too hot, but really about the entire issue of tort reform, did the exact thing that all documentaries strive to do - educated and impassioned me about a very important issue that I previously knew almost nothing about. And what little I did know was completely wrong. For example, that lady who sued McDonalds for her coffee being too hot - not only was her lawsuit not frivolous, but she deserved every penny. And then some.
If you want to be outraged and learn how totally fucked you already are right now at this very moment without even realizing it, then I urge you strongly to watch Hot Coffee. It's like a jolt of hot liquid to the crotch.
(Sorry. I had to.)
3. Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes
In an age when even "reality" is scripted, the chance to turn on an event as normally staid as an awards show and see something clearly unplanned, unscripted, and real is a monumental event. Its what we're often promised but NEVER receive. And for once we actually did. Were the jokes actually that good or edgy? Not really. But it wasn't about the jokes themselves per se, it was about the fact that he was telling them. We live in a world where everyone is so petrified of saying anything even remotely controversial or doing anything that isn't carefully choreographed and planned by a phalanx of PR people first, so the simple act of not giving a fuck felt like a revolutionary act. And sure he couldn't, or wouldn't, follow it up. But for a brief shining moment it seemed like maybe we were headed for a future where people said real things to people's faces in public.
It was fun while it lasted.
4. TV on the Radio - Nine Types of Light
I'm going to say something wildly controversial here: sometimes hipsters make no sense.
Hipsters used to love TV on the Radio. They were THE hipster band. Now they make what is, to my ears, their best album and it gets almost no love whatsoever? I mean I didn't see this thing on a single year-end top 10 list. And yet I dont remember there being widespread disappointment with it either. It just sort of came and went without notice. That absolutely baffles me. What, because TV on the Radio aren't a brand new band they dont matter anymore? What did TV on the Radio do to you hipsters? Other than make great music? I never thought this would be a "different" opinion to have, but a TV on the Radio album was my favorite album of the year. Deal with it.
(Oh no...being defensive about unorthodox opinions that go against general mainstream consensus? Maybe now I'm the hipster...)
5. Charlize Theron in Young Adult
Speaking of things that were inexplicably unjustly overlooked...
Now I recognize that this isn't exactly the type of performance that gets nominated for awards. And I'm actually okay with that. But I didn't even feel like it was in the discussion. And maybe that's more to do with what a great year it was for actresses (not a sentence I get to type very often), but it still seems unfair to poor Charlize who really did a remarkable brave thing here. How many actresses of her stature and beauty would be willing to play the part of Mavis Gary as fully comittedly as she did? Its the sort of performance Cameron Diaz often thinks she's giving when really she's always standing slightly outside the character subtly commenting that "no, but really I'm actually an attractive and likable person, this is just a role I'm playing".
Mavis Gary is role that a man wouldn't think twice about playing. It wouldn't even be an issue. Yet so much of the talk around Young Adult seemed to be if people are willing to watch a woman who is so unlikable. And based on box office results the answer is no. And that's why, to me, one Mavis Gary is worth five Bridesmaids. Because for all the talk of what a breakthrough it was, Bridesmaids was basically just a (well done) gender twist on a movie we've all seem 100 times. (Which was really the key to its success.) But a movie about an unlikeable character who doesn't learn anything or change in any way? And also happens to be a woman? Well that's showing us something fresh and new about the human experience. That's expanding the range of roles available to women. And Charlize Thereon pulls it off in a way that I don't think any other actress today could or would. So with all due respect to Viola Davis, Michelle Williams, Brad Pitt, Carey Mulligan, Jessica Chastian, and Janet McTeer, this was my favorite performance of the year.
6. Colbert performs "Friday" on Jimmy Fallon
This is why the Internet was invented.
7. Louie
Not to compare Louie to the Beatles, but here it goes. The Beatles were a group without an established lead singer, and where all members of the group contributed songs that they had written individually. The Beatles are the best group of all time. They revolutionized music. And yet no group I can think of has ever really tried to duplicate that formula and approach. This has always baffled me. In a copycat world, where any successful idea gets ripped off in a thousand different directions, people have tried to copy every aspect of the most successful and popular musical act of all time, EXCEPT FOR THEIR FUNDAMENTAL APPROACH TO MAKING MUSIC.
Which brings us to Louie. Louie was the best show on TV last year. It's probably the most original and idiosyncratic show I've ever seen. It's ostensibly a comedy, but I don't think I laughed one the entire season. It's definitely not a drama, yet it's probably the most moving and heartbreaking and true thing on the air today. It has no precedent and it's not remotely comparable to any other TV show on the air. And its so astronomically better than all of them that it seems unfair to even compare them. It's like its playing a completely different game. In a totally different league. Just like The Beatles.
So will TV executives now start duplicating the approach that makes Louie great - giving money and complete and total creative freedom to incredibly talented people so that they can make a TV show completely by themselves with absolutely no notes or input of any kind? Well...we're still waiting for the next Beatles aren't we?
8. Grantland
Here's what I wrote the day Grantland was launched:
"I am convinced that Grantland is the result of someone scanning my brain to determine the answer to the question, “hey you, if you could create your dream website from scratch what would it be like and who would write for it?” Because The Dream Team aint got shit on Grantland. In fact The Dream Team might have to turn over rights to their moniker. I mean look at this lineup: Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman, Dave Eggers, Mark Harris, Katie Baker, Molly Lambert of This Recording, Lane Brown of NY Mag’s Vulture blog, Malcom Gladwell of Malcom Gladwell fame. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg
Now I finally know what God was up to on the 8th day.
Well, goodbye productivity, it’s been fun. And goodbye entire rest of the internet. If you need me, I’ll be at Grantland.com."Eight months later and that all still holds true. The only thing I would add is that Mark Harris' ongoing Oscarmetrics feature is probably the best thing in the history of the written word. So, you know, suck it Bible.
9. The Muppets
Did you know that the best comedy and the best musical of the last five years were both the same movie? And that that movie was a "kids movie"? It's true. Long after the end of the second golden age of Disney, The Muppets came along and outdid them all. Argue all you want nerds about Jim Henson, or Frank Oz, or fidelity to the characters or what have you, but as someone with no particular personal interest or childhood connection to the Muppet universe, if I had had a Best Picture vote I would have seriously considered using it here, as arguably no movie in 2011 did a better job of executing its specific vision than The Muppets.
Did you also know that is was HUGELY out-grossed by The Smurfs?
The children are hereby no longer our future.
10. Beyonce on The Billboard Awards
I hate Beyonce and think that she and the praise given to her and the way that she is viewed by society are the very essence of much of whats wrong with the world, and even I loved this.
More like this please.
12. Tebowmania
The original Linsanity. Linsantity 1.0 if you will. Although the new version is better in every way - more unbelievable, more well-scripted, more uplifting, more culturally resonant, better setting, etc. - Tebowmania shouldn't be ignored.
Whenever something incredible in sports (or to a lesser extent in life) happens the most common refrain you hear is always "it's like out of a movie". And it usually is. Only better. Because in any movie or book or TV show or piece of entertainment anywhere other than sports, you pretty much know whats going to happen. And even if you dont, you know the narrow range of possible outcomes. With Tim Tebow though he could overthrow a wide open receiver by ten yards or he could complete a perfect 80 yard game winning bullet. He could beat the Steel Curtain defense in the playoffs or look barely competent against Kansas City. Sometimes sports make sense. But more often than not they make no sense at all. And that's why we tune in. Because there's no other aspect of life where that is true. Other than life itself.
11. The direction of Drive
If you are ever wondering what difference a good director makes, then you should probably read the screenplay for Drive. Because I imagine its fairly awful. 99% of the time this material is a forgettable B-movie or goes straight to DVD or both. Luckily, Nicolas Winding Refn is the 1%.
Normally I wouldn't be a fan of such a style over substance movie, but HOLY SHIT WHAT STYLE. If making boilerplate material into the most visually iconic movie of the year isn't an example of good directing then I don't know what is.
This is one for the time capsule.
13. World Series, Game 6
You know something was good when I didn't even see it and it made my list. And when it involved the team I was rooting for losing.
So many times in talking about culture, and especially in regards to sports, we rush to declare things The Best Of All Time. Major League Baseball has been around since 1869. In that time hundreds of thousands of games have been played. It's a game all about history and tradition and days gone by. So what are the odds that at this relatively late day a game could occur that could legitmately be considered the Greatest Game Ever Played? (Warning: another Sports As Life metaphor ahead) But that's the thing with baseball - despite what the odds might say, you really just never know.
14. Mayer Hawthorne – How Do You Do
You know those albums where when the first song comes on you think "this is my favorite song on the album" and then the next one comes on and you think "no, THIS is the best song on the album" and so on until the very last song. (No, but really the last song on How Do You Do really is the best. I think.) Well this is one of those albums.
How was Amy Winehouse a huge star, while Mayer Hawthorne has now released two stellar albums in relative obscurity? Maybe sports really are onto something with this whole "life makes no sense most of the time" thing.
15. Breaking Bad
Before we all get carried away let's just all be clear that Breaking Bad is no Wire or Mad Men. It's not really about anything other than the dangers of selling meth (please spare me the college courses on the exploration of relative morality through the character of Walter White, the crisis of conscience, the darkness that lies in all of us, yadda yadda yadda). So while it may not scale the heights of those titans in terms of "importance" it probably beats them both in terms of "being a well made TV show". If you need something to make you think deeply about life, go elsewhere. But if you just want pure entertainment, masterful plotting, great acting, edge of your seat thrills, and can't look away yet MUST LOOK AWAY suspense then there's never been anything better than the latest season of Breaking Bad. Also, don't get involved in the meth trade.
16. The NBA Finals
Hey, remember two sentences ago? When I said "if you just want pure entertainment, masterful plotting, great acting, edge of your seat thrills, and can't look away yet MUST LOOK AWAY suspense then there's never been anything better than the latest season of Breaking Bad"? Well I lied. Because the NBA Finals were better in every way in all of those categories. Every TV writer ever would kill to write something half as good. And half as compelling.
And remember six paragraphs ago? When I said how what makes sports great is their random, chaotic, anything can happen nature? Well I lied there too. Because of their chaotic nature, whats best about sports is actually when they magically somehow find a way to give us EXACTLY what we want: Good vs. Evil. Right vs. Wrong. The original and most primal human drama stripped down to its starkest most black and white terms played out over six games for all the marbles. With the right side winning, order being restored, and justice being served.
I don't think the nation was as united the day after 9/11 as it was during the 2011 NBA Finals. If before the series had started the Mavericks had told the country "we wont win this series unless the budget gets balanced, free health care is given to everyone, and all foreign wars are stopped immediately", then we'd all be living in a utopia right now. As Ive always said, in times of great national crisis its always best to turn to a charismatic German...
17. Kate Upton does the dougie
As someone that also runs a feminist music blog, part of hates to blog about something this Maxim-y, but also, contrary to popular reports, I am human.
I wouldn’t have guessed that this generation’s answer to Marilyn Monroe getting her skirt blown up would be a YouTube video of someone doing a novelty dance craze at a sporting event, but I probably should have. The good folks at Wikipedia should just put this clip and the elevator scene from Drive under the entry for “sex” and be done with it.
Resistance is futile.
18. Parks and Rec – "Fancy Party"
Comparing Parks and Rec, Louie, and Breaking Bad is like comparing apples and pomegranates and meth (Community would be the kiwi in this analogy). But while its hard to say one is better than the other, Parks and Rec is just as groundbreaking and new in its own way. Throughout the history of time there's been one way and one way only a network TV show handles the marriage of two of its main characters: months of build up, mountains of hype, and a hugely publicized episode right in the middle of sweeps. But here's how Parks and Rec handled it: a random understated mid-season episode with no hype or advance notice. Thats right, the evolutionary Office took the Jim and Pam proposal to the next level. And they did the wedding episode itself with their usual truth, humor, and commitment to the reality of the characters and world that they have worked so hard to create.
The Very Special Episode is dead; long live the very special episode.
19. Tree of Life
If you didn't like Tree of Life I'm not going to say we cant be friends. I get that's its not for everyone. And this is a case where I can totally respect opposing viewpoints. If you complain that it was too slow, or boring, or confusing, or strange, I get that, and fine, so be it. But you cant then ever complain that all studios ever make are sequels and remakes and that there are no original ideas and Hollywood is creatively bankrupt and that they don't make movies for adults and why don't they just once not treat us like we're all either 12 year boys or idiots or both. Because Tree of Life is the exact opposite of all of that. It's the antidote to all those ills. And its why in a world where Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the second highest grossing movie of the year I'm Team Malick always and forever.
#occupyHollywood
20. The cast of Happy Endings
After just going on a rant against the laziness and lack of originality in Hollywood, allow me to contradict myself completely by saying that there should be a law requiring some network (possibly even all of them) to remake Friends every 15 years. By taking a hit show and completely remaking it from scratch periodically it can stay fresh and the cast can better reflect the times (a gay "bro"! an interracial couple! a food truck owner! Casey Wilson!). And the "spend half an hour hanging out with hilarious, witty, and extremely likable young people who all seem to genuinely love each other" concept is one that should never go out of style. But if you're going to make that the hook of your show then your casting (like on Friends 1.0) better be impeccable. And on Happy Endings indeed it is. Adam Pally seems to be considered the breakout star from the show, yet I would argue he's only the 4th best member of the cast. But then that seems unfair to him. But also true. But also I don't know. Trying to pick a favorite is a literal Sophie's Choice. By which I mean that trying to decide who is better, Damon Wayans Jr. or Eliza Coupe, is LITERALLY the same as trying to decide which of my two children to save from extermination by the Nazis. (Eliza Coupe for the record). This cast is so good it has even made Elisha Cuthbert funny. Elisha Cuthbert! If you're not watching this show you really should. It's a-MA-zing. (Little inside joke between me and my Friends...)
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