Feast on Scraps

 “The more you talk the less people listen” – Meg White

You know you take acting superstitions a little too far when you refer to McDonalds as “The Scottish Restaurant”

I think I speak for us all when I say “mamma say mamma saw ma ma cu saw”

“After 40 years of devoted service he made the classic mistake. He made a mistake”
- Jon Stewart on Dan Rather

Am I the only one who never realized “Please Please Me” was about sex? All this time I thought is was just about good manners.



“Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe.”
- Hunter S. Thompson

I am convinced Key Foods buys their apples from midget farmers.

“If she keeps putting you on hold, it's time to hang up the phone, pardner.”
- Larry King

Josh Lyman: All I'm saying is, if you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop to get a beer.
Donna Moss: If you were in an accident, I wouldn't stop for red lights.
(Note: As soon as I get time to watch season 2 on DVD there will be a full length article about The West Wing. You have my word on it.)

I think this year’s Oscar contenders will be hard pressed to come up with a better movie moment than Hilary Swank getting sucker punched into a coma.

“Computer games don’t affect kids. I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music” – Kristen Wilson - Nintendo Inc, 1989

I wonder how one chooses Central Park clown with good parenting messages as a career?

Entertainment Weekly: “You're a whole lot better looking than most comedians. Is being an attractive woman in this industry a blessing or a curse?”
Sarah Silverman: “It hasn't kept me from playing assholes. Plus I get tons of sex! On a serious note, I'm very, very beautiful.”

I don’t want to Rosh Hashanna. I’d rather take my time.

WOODY ALLEN: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: Yes it is.
WOODY ALLEN: What does it say to you?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence, nothingness, the predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void, with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straightjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
WOODY ALLEN: What are you doing Saturday night?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: Committing suicide.
WOODY ALLEN: What about Friday night?
GIRL IN MUSEUM: [leaves silently]

“One night I couldn’t sleep so I decided to Nair my ass” – random conversation overheard on the subway

Me: (Some inappropriate comment about Jesus masturbating)
Caroline McGraw: Andy, I don’t want to hear about that. What happens in Nazareth, stays in Nazareth.

What’s the deal with observational comedy?

“-What do we think about when we’re trying not to think?
-I dunno. Ask America.”

I don’t care about your apathy.

One quote I never understood: “Here’s looking at you kid”
Not only is it grammatically incorrect, but it seems to be kind of stating the obvious. Either that or I just don’t get it.

I would like to just once, leave a numeric page.

“We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.” – Plan 9 From Outer Space

“The only difference between comedy and tragedy is where you choose to stop telling the story”


Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
1.) MLB Playoffs
2.) “Now I Can Die in Peace” – Bill Simmons (book)
3.) “The Shining” trailer - http://www.ps260.com/molly/SHINING%20FINAL.mov
3 & 1/2.) Keyspan Park in Brooklyn

Thought of the Week:
Come see my play The Revelation Circus. Well not so much “my play” but I am in it. For info go to: http://www.revelationcircus.com/ or get tickets for only $10 if you register and order them on www.theatermania.com.