Friday, March 29, 2013

Ranking the tracks on The 20/20 Experience from most Timbaland-y to least Timbaland-y

1. "Don't Hold the Wall"
This song should be the Wikipedia entry for Timbaland. Are we totally sure that it wasn't originally written as part of the Supa Dupa Fly sessions?

2. "Tunnel Vision"
Skittery drum sounds? Synths on synths on synths?  Lasers? Weird processed vocal noises in the background? The ghost of Aaliyah is pissed that she wasn't offered this track first.

3. "Mirrors"
The main part of the song is only a third Timbaland (and two thirds fun. and NSYNC), but the breakdown is the most Timbaland-y thing thats ever been Timbalanded.

4. "Spaceship Coupe"
Is that a baby cooing or a door creaking? Exactly the main question a good Timbaland track should always make you ask. Also, there's a crunchy low end. And spaceships!

5. "Strawberry Bubblegum"
Only Timbaland can make a Prince song sound like it was recorded in a swamp on the moon.

(Also, the breakdown sounds like it was recorded in an alternate reality where the entirety of modern pop music doesn't exist. I mean that as a compliment. I think.)

6. "Suit and Tie"
JT may be doing Sinatra, but Timbaland is doing trapped-underwater Mark Ronson.

And Jay-Z is doing Benadryl.

7. "Pusher Love Girl"
This is the Timbaland equivalent of just vocals and acoustic guitar. If Timbaland ever does MTV Unplugged he could just play this track exactly as it is.

8. "That Girl"
Who are The Tennessee Kings and what did they do with Timbaland? Is that him playing the clicker?

9. "Let the Groove In"
As literally everyone has pointed out, this sounds exactly like a Miami Sound Machine song. And Timbaland has probably been to Miami at some point? Maybe?

10. "Blue Ocean Floor" 
This wasn't produced by Timbaland, it was produced by a dolphin on LSD.

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