Lists Mostly About Music

As you’ve probably noticed, me and VH1 have a lot in common. We both like music. We both love the 90’s. We’re both the bastard stepchildren of MTV. And we both like to make lists of things and rank them. And so I thought it would be fun to share this love of lists by making you read a bunch of pointless ones I came up with off the top of my head. Alcohol might or might not have also been involved. Plus I thought since me making lists was pretentious, self-involved, uninformative, not funny and required very little writing ability it would go in well with the rest of my entries. On the mr. brightside, this will be an entry you'll able to read in under an hour. So fire up your illegal downloading software, or if you are a massive loser, your iTunes music store, and prepare yourself for a bunch of lists (mostly) about music.

Top 3 & 1/2 Unanswered Questions About Music from the 90’s
1.) What exactly is it that the Backstreet Boys wanted and what way did they want it exactly?
2.) When Kurt Cobain said "I don’t have a gun, no I don't have a gun", was he lying? Because it sure seems like he was. Maybe his band mates shouldn’t have taken him at his word. Perhaps they also should have checked his attic
3.) But really, where WERE you while we were getting high?
3 & 1/2.) What the fuck was Michael Stipe talking about?

Top 3 & 1/2 Early Frontrunners for “Song of the Summer”
1.) “Talk” by Coldplay
2.) “I Predict A Riot” by The Kaiser Chiefs
3.) “Best of You” by Foo Fighters
3 & 1/2.) “Don’t Phunk With My Heart” by The Black Eyed Peas

Top 3 & 1/2 Responses to “Who’s There?”
1.) Banana
2.) Banana
3.) Banana
3 & 1/2.) Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

Top 3 & 1/2 Suggestions for Your Mix CD
1.) “Hot Black Silk” by Songs:Ohia
2.) “Lovers Spit” by Broken Social Scene
3.) “Too Young” by Phoenix
3 & 1/2.) “Biomusicology” by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

Top 3 & 1/2 Sigur Ros Lyrics
1.) Sé sjálfan mig syngja fagnaðarerindið
2.) Ityoowoohoo
3.) Stari a ryðið sem vex á mér
3 & 1/2.) (silence)

Top 3 & 1/2 Albums From 2004 You Should Have But Probably Don’t
1.) Rilo Kiley- More Adventurous
2.) TV on the Radio- Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes
3.) The Arcade Fire- Funeral
3 & 1/2.) The Go Team!- Thunder, Lightning, Strike

Top 3 & 1/2 Kurt Cobain Lyrics
1.) “I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black”
2.) “Who needs actions when you got words?”
3.) “Rape me, my friend”
3 & 1/2.) “What else could I say? / Everyone is gay / What else could I write? / I don't have the right / What else should I be? / All apologies”

Top 3 & 1/2 Uses of a Pre-existing Song in a Movie
Note: trying to narrow this down was as hard as trying to come up with a decent analogy
1.) “Tiny Dancer” in Almost Famous
2.) “Ooh La La” in Rushmore
3.) “The Weight” in The Big Chill
3 & 1/2.) “In Your Eyes” in Say Anything… (I know, I know, how obvious, but I couldn’t leave it off)

Top 3 & 1/2 Thoughts Had While Watching the “Preshow Entertainment” at Loews
1.) I enjoy motion pictures.
2.) That Coke commercial about the guys making the documentary is the best thing I’ve seen in theaters all year. That is sad on so many levels.
3.) I can’t believe I’m even thinking this, but I kinda miss the Fanta girls.
3 & 1/2.) If you want to know why Jodie Foster has had a great career and Kate Hudson hasn’t, then you should compare Skeleton Key and Flightplan.

Top 3 & 1/2 Great Songs That Thru Their Association with a Tragedy Became Transcendent
1.) “Where The Streets Have No Name” (from the 2002 Superbowl Halftime)- 9/11
2.) “All Apologies”- Kurt Cobain’s suicide
3.) “Let It Be”- the breakup of the Beatles
3 & 1/2.) “Lets Get It On”- my prom night

Top 3 & 1/2 Songs on My Ipod That in Some Way Involve Male Royalty
1.) “Kings” by Steely Dan
2.) “Charlemagne in Sweatpants” by The Hold Steady
3.) “Richard III” by Supergrass
3 & 1/2.) “Paper Doll” by Louis XIV

Top 3 & 1/2 Ways Kanye West's Lyric "The Way School Need Teachers / The Way Kathie Lee Needed Regis / That's the Way I Need Jesus," Could Be Adapted for Other Religions. (Stolen from Mcsweeneys.net)
1.) Islam
The way Madonna need the Kabbalah / The way Skee-Lo needed more royalties from "I wish I was a li'l bit talla" / That the way I need Allah
2.) Shintoism
The way the Bush camp needed to find some WMDs / The way Scottish tourism needs the Hebrides / That how I need various "kami," nature deities
3.) Zoroastrianism
The way the troops need to come home from Basra / The way my friend Terry's dad needs his '96 Mazda / So, too, do I need a Mazda, except I am of course referring to Ahura Mazda, the single supreme god of Zoroastrianism
3 & 1/2.) Atheism
The way the Red Sox need the curse of Babe Ruth / The way Abraham Lincoln needed Booth / That's how much I need a deity of any sort / That is to say, not very much at all



Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week
1.) http://dutchwest.tv/
2.) The music from "In Good Company"
3.) Micheal Moore's The Awful Truth: Season Two, Episode 5 - "Ficus for Congress"
3 & 1/2.) RENT: the Movie anticipation
See the trailer: http://movies.channel.aol.com/franchise/exclusives/rent_movie


Thought of the Week:
Since we're now 4 episodes in, its safe to say that not only is Family Guy back but its better than ever. The Van Gough flashback a few weeks ago and the Hiroshima flashback this week were two of the finest moments in the show's history. Just astounding that show is. Sometimes its brillance makes my head hurt.