The 20 Best Things of 2016

Fun fact: Many good things actually happened in the year 2016. It’s true! It wasn't all death and Trump, although as you’ll see, those two factors hang heavy over even the best of things. But just like every year, 2016 still managed to produce its fair share of great art, cultural triumphs, and viral delights. Leaving out, obviously, things from 2016 that it seems like I’ll probably love but have yet to experience (OJ: Made in America, Search Party, 20th Century Women, Fences, etc.), and TV shows I’ve already written about in years past (OITNB, Transparent, You're the Worst, Veep, etc) here are my top 20 favorite things from 2016, listed in no particular order:

1. Beyonce - “Formation” video

How upset old white people were about this should give you some idea of just how great it is.

When I was growing up, the biggest music video from the biggest female pop star of the day involved her dancing around suggestively in a Catholic school girl outfit. Trump may have won the election, but progress still remains undefeated.

2. Kendrick Lamar’s Grammys Performance

(Of course this isn't anywhere on the internet for me to link to. Because Neil Portnow.)

Kendrick’s performance was the performance that Kayne always thinks he is giving. It’s a performance that made everyone else who took the stage on Music’s Biggest Night seem like talent show contestants.

I don’t want to tell artists how to use their fame, but this is how they should use their fame. 

3. Last Week Tonight - #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain

SPOILER ALERT: He didn't make Donald Drumpf again. In fact the viral success of this piece and lack of any resultant effect on Trump whatsoever does raise some big questions about the effectiveness of comedy in actually changing anyone’s mind about anything in 2016. But yet, like death from a thousand paper cuts, it definitely drew a little blood. And even though I really wish John Oliver had stuck with guns and only referred to Trump as Drumpf for the rest of the year, it was still a more thorough and effective attack ad than anything the Clinton campaign managed to put together, and that was basically their whole job. John Oliver can never be president, but the world is going to be a better place as long as he keeps trying to help decide who will be.

Also, says everything about 2016 that this piece now feels like it came out ten thousand years ago.

4. La La Land

Hey, remember joy? And love? And having hopes and dreams? Well La La Land sure does! The best and worst thing you can say about it is that it’s a pre-Trump movie. Maybe the last one ever in fact. But for my money, Damien Chazelle’s quest to Make Musicals Great Again is exactly the tonic we need right now. And it seems fitting the Oscars after the death of Debbie Reynolds are going to be headlined by a colorful and happiness-inducing musical about show business, complete with its own dream ballet. Sometimes the best way to reinvent an art form is to just do it the same way its always been done, only better and at the right time.

5. Olympic Swimming

When the Olympics began I barely cared. I was raised on the Olympics, but in 2016 there’s so much else going on it felt like maybe time has passed the Olympics by. And then the swimming started. And Ledecky destroyed all challengers. And Phelps proved that calling him the greatest swimmer of all time is still underrating him. And Simone Manuel made history. And Lochte Lochted. And Anthony Ervin spun an all-time Olympic athlete backstory into Olympic gold. And for a week there was nothing in the world more compelling than watch people swim laps in a pool.

So turns out the Olympics are the Michael Phelps of sporting events - the second you think they’ve slipped a bit is when they have you right where they want you.

6. LVL Up - “Pain”

Point: Rock and roll is dead

Counterpoint: “Pain” by LVL Up

7. Stranger Things

I hate the 80s. I hate supernatural shows and horror-based shows and “genre” shows in general. I hate homage as the starting place for a work of art. I hate culture’s obsession with nostalgia and youth. And yet I loved Stranger Things. It felt like nothing else on TV while feeling like so many other things all at once. It’s the show Lost wishes it could have been, and what JJ Abrams wishes he had made instead of Super 8.

Also: I hate that there’s going to be a season two. I hate that dialogue around the show seemed so #TeamBarb when clearly any sane right-thinking person is #TeamNancy all the way. I preemptively hate all the imitators Stranger Things is going to spawn. And I hate the Stranger Things backlash that’s inevitably coming and coming hard. But right now, in this moment, let’s all embrace a wonderful television ride and not worry about the demigorgons in the woods coming to put slugs in its mouth.

#KeepHawkinsWeird

8. Flossie Dickey

Sometimes you find true love where you least expect it. Like in an interview with a 110-year woman at a nursing home.

9. Sam Donsky on The Ringer

(Speaking of soul mates…)

In the age of Trump it’s more important than ever that we have writers brave enough to ask the tough questions. Like: Who would win the Oscar for Best Baby? What is the best night any celebrity has ever had at Madison Square Garden? And why does David Benioff always thank his wife by her full name? 

From analyzing the Kim/Kayne/Taylor tapes like they're the Zapruder film, to asking 74 questions about a film no one saw or liked, 2016 was the year Sam Donsky officially made himself into this generation’s Woodward and Bernstein, if Woodward and Bernstein were mostly known for dissecting dumb pop culture on the internet. We may never fully understand why Trump won, but, also, what’s up with Chris Pratt’s vests?

10. Black-ish - “Hope”

A perfect piece of writing and a perfect argument for the continued existence of network TV. 

That being said though, 40 years ago this would be a classic TV episode people would talk about for generations. Now, it didn't even get nominated for an Emmy. Maybe network TV is just beyond saving.

11. The People vs. OJ Simpson

It’s almost a cliche at this point to point out how many societal issues the OJ Simpson case touched on, but watching this miniseries unfold was a great reminder that looking at the the past is usually the best vehicle for exploring the present. To choose just one example, the scene where the jurors argue over what to watch on TV is a perfect encapsulation of how something like a Trump victory could some day be possible. And if Marcia Clark isn't a perfect Hillary Clinton avatar then I don’t know who is. My only complaints about a perfect eight hours of television are that it wasn't longer and that Sarah Paulson and Courtney B. Vance aren't eligible for Oscars.

12. Samantha Bee’s Donald Trump Conspiracy Theory

Look, I don't want to say that Full Frontal with Samantha Bee is the best and most important show on TV. That is has the best joke writers in the business. That it has the righteous anger and indignation that this year called for. That it’s going to be our guiding light for the next four years. And that it’s proof that giving The Daily Show to Trevor Noah was one of the dumbest decisions in recent television history. All I’m saying is that some people are saying that, and who am I to disagree? If I was going to make claims that outlandish, I guess the first pieces of evidence I would direct you to are this already iconic Donald Trump conspiracy and the show’s Harriet Tubman segment. But I’m not one to make accusations about things using facts and evidence. I’m no expert; I’m just a guy. A guy standing in front of samanthabee.com asking it to to love him.

13. David Bowie - “Lazarus” video

The ultimate mic drop.

They say Native Americans used to make use of every part of the buffalo. David Bowie was like that, only the buffalo was his life.

14. SNL

“Farewell Mr. Bunting”

Having enough trust in your audience and your vision to attempt this sketch is super inspiring. Getting people in 2016 to wait through two and a half minutes of build up in a viral video before it pays off feels like a miracle. And getting the feeling back in my face when I finally finish laughing at this is going to be really great.

“Black Jeopardy”
This is what comedy can do when its at it’s best. It cuts to truths about America more clearly and cleanly than 1,000 think pieces ever could. Are comedy sketches eligible for the Nobel Prize in Literature now?

“Hillary Clinton/Hallelujah”
And this is what comedy can do when it’s not comedy at all. When historians 200 years from now want to know what the days just after the election of Donald Trump felt like all they need to do is watch this. The best thing SNL has ever done.

15. Songs That Made Me Unsure Whether I Should Be Sad, Dance, Or Both

Christine and the Queens - “iT”

I have absolutely no idea what this song is about. All I know is it sounds like the feeling of being alive. Between this song and Marion Cotillard’s eyes the French really continue to have the whole beautiful sadness thing figured out.

Eleanor Freiberger - “My Mistakes”
The best Rilo Kiley song of 2016. The world can change however it wants; as long as it keeps giving me new versions of the exact song I’m totally good.

Mike Posner - “Took a Pill in Ibiza”
The exact opposite of me is an EDM-influenced song about taking drugs in a nightclub in Ibiza. Yet here we are. Turns out that existential melancholy translated into Douche from the original Neurotic Intellectual is still pretty damn relatable. And yes I realize this song came out in 2015, but this will always be the sound of 2016 to me.

16. Moonlight

Moonlight feels like a miracle. That a serious drama without any name stars about a poor, gay, black man coming of age could be made at all, yet alone breakthrough into the popular consciousness. That a cast this natural and flawless could be found, like an album where every song that comes on makes you go “no THIS one is my favorite!”. That there are two different sets of three actors so similar and so good that when I see them together doing press it hurts my brain because I can’t process that they were not ACTUALLY the same person at three different ages. That two people making small talk at a table in a diner could have a whole audience on the edge of their seats. That a no-name director with one prior little-seen credit could create the most powerful and well-made movie of the year. None of these things seems possible or plausible, and yet they're all true. This movie is a miracle. And its success gives me hope. To quote critic Dana Stevens, in the pitch-black year of Trump, Moonlight was a “crack in the wall that allowed light to shine through”.

17. Atlanta

In 2016, what even is TV? It’s basically anything now. And it’s everything. It’s whatever it wants to be. And no artist has yet risen to meet the challenge and possibility of our post-Louie world better than Donald Glover has. In 2016 Atlanta is TV, and TV is Atlanta. There are no rules. There is only what you can dream up.

What will season two of Atlanta be? It could be literally anything and no one would bat an eye.

18. Chance the Rapper - Coloring Book

Chance the Rapper is so millennial it hurts. Chance the Rapper definitely has strong feelings about safe spaces and Bernie Sanders. Chance the Rapper has never even considered doing something ironically. Chance the Rapper makes Lin-Manuel Miranda look like a cynical pessimist. Hell, Chance the Rapper named himself Chance the Rapper. And as a millennial, Chance the Rapper is the future.

And the future sounds amazing.

The future is like if Old Kanye had been raised on new Kanye and was actually good at rapping. (As the old saying goes: every generation gets the Late Registration it deserves) The future is like if Picasso painted with emojis. The future is earnestness being the new aggression. The future is Future being the past.

Hip-hop is dead, long live hip-hop.

19. “A Closer Look” on Late Night With Seth Meyers

I almost left this reoccurring segment off my list of the best of 2016 because it’s become such a constant part of my life that I assumed it had been around longer than just this year. Who knew when Jon Stewart retired that the new iteration of The Daily Show would be called Late Night With Seth Meyers? Or as I call it: Essential.

20. Revisionist History Podcast

Facts and knowledge really took a beating in 2016, but turns out both are still great if you just re-examine them rather then throw them out all together. Perhaps looking more deeply into our assumptions about the world can help us better understand human nature and the reality we all share. Who knew? 

Of everything I experienced in 2016 this podcast is the thing I reference most frequently. I’m fun at parties.

Grammys 2016

Yes, the Grammys are a dumb pointless out-of-touch awards show, but they're also a fantastic night for televised live music performances. It's always my favorite TV watching night of the year, and this year was no exception. So who cares who won or lost, let's run through what really matters - each of the performances in order:

Taylor Swift

You know what’s NOT out of the woods? Taylor Swift’s singing ability. But at least she was able to come up with a great concept for the performance - singing "Out of the Woods" while literally emerging from a darkened area full of trees. I mean, where does she come up with this stuff???

Well, the good thing about being Taylor Swift at The Grammys is you know there's always next year.

Sam Hunt & Carrie Underwood

Close your eyes and imagine how a person named Sam Hunt would dress for their Grammy performance. Now open them - you were exactly right!

Speaking of appearances, interesting to see that country music dealt with losing Taylor Swift by making Carrie Underwood look just like her. “Maybe no one will notice it's a different person!”

Anyway, totally unmemorable performance by Country Music Ken and Barbie.

The Weeknd

You know who would absolutely hate The Weeknd’s 2016 Grammy performance? 2012 The Weeknd.

Before performing a serious stripped down ballad at the Grammys, it's always important to ask yourself “Am I Adele?” If the answer is no then do something else. In The Weeknd’s case maybe try doing one of the songs that got you here and represent what you do best. Or, ya know, the exact opposite of that.

Andrea Day & Ellie Goulding

“Hey, I know, let’s follow a guy standing around singing an unmemorable ballad in an unmemorable way with two women doing the exact same thing! That’ll be a real Grammy Moment!”

I fell asleep at some point so I missed the exact name of that song, but I’m pretty sure it was called “Polite Applause”.

Lionel Ritchie tribute

Wow an overly-long, bland, inoffensive Lionel Ritchie tribute - or as it's known on CBS, Monday night.

A few other thoughts:

-If the Grammys aesthetic could be distilled down to a single person, that person would be John Legend.

-Holy shit, Demi Lovato isn't Vanessa Hudgens! Who knew?

-Luke Bryan honoring Lionel Ritchie is one of those ideas that sounds ridiculous in theory, but is also ridiculous in practice.

-They would have let Luke Bryan sing longer but they didn't want his cruise ship to leave without him.

Little Big Town

"Hey look, country music can be just as boring as stuffy as “real” music!"

Everything you need to know about country music is that there's a big division in the industry between people who think "Girl Crush" is controversial and people who think it's clever, when in fact it's not remotely either. I do however like Little Big Town’s follow-up single, “He Gets It In The Butt” about the dangers of cigarette smoking.

The Eagles

Wait, which one of these people died again? Jackson Browne?

Nice performance by wax sculpture versions of the Eagles, but maybe next time program them to take it little less easy. Pretty sure they took that “I’m standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona” line a bit too literally this time. But it did wind up being a great PSA for prescription sleep-aid abuse. So that's nice.

Tori Kelly & James Bay

“Shhh, we don’t want to wake up The Eagles…”

Hamilton

HAMILTON HAMILTON HAMILTON! IN CASE OF HAMILTON PLEASE BREAK GLASS!!! 

YES THE SONG WAS SLOWED DOWN TOO MUCH, AND YES EVERYONE LOOKED SLIGHTLY NERVOUS, AND YES “MY SHOT” AND “SCHUYLER SISTERS” ARE BETTER AWARDS SHOW SONGS BUT THEY’RE SAVING THEM FOR THE TONYS, BUT WHO CARES, HOLY SHIT IT’S HAMILTON!

As a theater person through and through I never thought I would see the day that a pop music awards show would be desperate to steal some of musical theater’s mojo, yet here we are. It’s a real shame the cast recording wasn't nominated for Album of the Year, but still, Lin-Miranda got contemporary musical theater onto the Grammy telecast. How lucky were are to be alive right now. 

And now, in the immortal words of The Beastie Boys, no sleep til The Tony Awards.

Kendrick Lamar

THAT is why I tune into this ridiculous award show every year. Because every once in awhile something singular and visionary and incredible like that will slip through the cracks. And when it does, it feels like magic. It feels like an event. Like one of those “Moments” that the Grammys are so obsessed with talking about. But the lesson here is, as always, instead of trying to force a big Moment or manufacture them by committee, you just have to give an incredible artist with something to say the resources and space to execute their vision, and then get out of the way.

No one loves Kanye West more than me, but I really hope he was watching Kendrick because he could really learn something from that performance. We all could. The rest of the Grammys was entertainment; Kendrick made art.

Adele

There’s apparently no truth to the rumor that Taylor Swift was in charge of the audio for Adele’s performance. But even with all the sound issues, it's amazing that Adele was able to take the exact thing that has been so boring all night - people standing motionless singing overly-serious stripped-down ballads - and make it utterly captivating. 

Also, do you think Adele already has her 2017 speech ready? If I were her I would just keep some spare acceptance speeches in my purse at all times - never know when you might need one. 

Justin Bieber

I think I kinda…really liked that? Making a song overly serious and epic at the Grammys actually really worked for once. Is Jack U the new U2? Is Justin Bieber our new Bono? What world is this?

David Bowie tribute

Great performance by David Bowie’s Wikipedia Page!

On the one hand, if the Grammys had just said “Ladies and Gentlemen: Lady Gaga” and stopped right there, that would have been the best David Bowie tribute they could have possibly done. But on the other hand, at least they can now be sure that David Bowie is actually dead, because if he wasn't before, that tribute definitely killed him.

BB King tribute

Now THAT is how you pay tribute to someone. I want to buy music from every single person involved in that. 

Chris Stapleton paying tribute to BB King is one of those ideas that sounds ridiculous in theory, but is actually awesome in practice. And man, Bonnie Raitt, that was some Melissa Etheridge/Janis Joplin-tribute level shit right there. 

Well done all around!

Alabama Shakes

Man, Brittany Howard, that was some Melissa Etheridge/Janis Joplin-tribute level shit right there!

Excited that in Alabama Shakes, The Grammys have finally found their new Foo Fighters. I would listen to Brittany Howard sing literally anything.

Hollywood Vampires

“It’s music’s biggest night! We’re here to honor the very best in music! Now here’s a performance by Johnny Depp’s vanity band!”

That was offensive to me, but for absolutely none off the reasons The Hollywood Vampires wanted it to be. I mean I know Alice Cooper wanted some stage time to work on his Johnny Depp impression, but it would have been so much easier for them to just crash two small trains together and get it over with.

Pitbull

I have a lot of questions including: What? Why? Who? and How?

Remember the year that Arcade Fire won Album of the Year and then celebrated by playing another song to close the show? Serious question: why does that not happen every year? Just tell the five nominees to have a second song ready to go in case they win and then that song would close the show every year. It would be a cool tradition, and keep viewers tuned in til the very end. It's a perfect idea, which means instead, Pitbull will close the show every year form here on out. Which leads me to close this with the official motto of the Grammys: “Ugh”

Daft and Punk'd: The Grammys 2014

The Grammys are insane and might very well be nothing more than one very long, cruel practical joke so here, read my breakdown of every single performance and the four major awards at the Grammys! Enjoy!

Beyonce and Jay-Z

“To kick off the Grammys…here’s a person not nominated for any individual Grammys tonight! So give a warm Grammy welcome to Beyonce and a disoriented old man!”

Nothing makes me happier than the fact that in Obama’s America the person who sang the National Anthem at the Presidential Inauguration is the same person who got bleeped at the Grammys while having sex with a chair. I may generally have mixed feelings about Beyonce, but I’m becoming more and more pro-Beyonce by the minute.

Lorde

#2014

Think piece idea: the embrace of minimalism in music by children of The Great Recession

Think piece idea II: the children are our future – not such a bad thing?

While Lorde may want to be called Queen Bee, I prefer to call her Fiona Apple. Also, is epilepsy a thing now? It’s so hard to keep up with what the kids are into these days.

Hunter Hayes

True story: Mark David Chapman only shot John Lennon so he wouldn’t have to live to see his quotes projected during a Hunter Hayes performance at the Grammys. It’s just a shame there was no one present in the building who cared about protecting John Lennon’s legacy. (Yoko Ono burn!)

Anyway, the fastest possible way to get me to leave the room to use the bathroom is to utter the sentence “Next up a powerful new ballad by Hunter Hayes”, but from what I caught of it I’m just glad someone finally had the courage and originality to write a song promoting the idea that the listener is special and has the power to overcome adversity. About time we had a song like that.

Katy Perry

I want to take Lady Gaga and rub her nose in Katy Perry’s performance while yelling “bad dog” until she feels bad about what she’s done.

I’m generally powerless to resist a good Katy Perry song, but it says everything about Katy Perry that the part of her performance she appeared to put the least amount of thought and energy into was the singing. And it was maybe a little too on the nose to set that performance in the pits of hell. But whatever, Juicy J was on the Grammys. I just hope when Katy Perry grows up she can be more like Lorde.

Chicago /Robin Thicke

Quiz: without cheating name a member of Chicago

While we’re doing quizzes, here’s a good ol’ SAT-style analogy

Grammys : VMAs :: Robin Thicke and Chicago : Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus

I don’t really know what my point is necessarily other than to say that anyone who thought the Miley Cyrus performance was the end of civilization as we know it should really watch that Chicago performance and then tell me which civilization seems more fun to live in. And I say this as someone who owns three Chicago albums.

Keith Urban/Gary Clark Jr.

Remember when pre-mainstream-fame Mumford and Sons got to perform with Bob Dylan at the Grammys? Gary Clark Jr. performing on the Grammys with Keith Urban is the exact opposite of that. By which I mean I’m really looking forward to bouncing my grandkids on my knee one day and telling them about the time I wasted five minutes of my life watching Gary Clark Jr. suffer through a Keith Urban song.

John Legend

Has anyone ever seen John Legend NOT at the Grammys? Pretty sure he lives at the Staples Center. And while the last 20 years may have seen the invention of the Internet and the iPhone, if John Legend is our Stevie Wonder then we have failed miserably as a people.

Taylor Swift

Not sure if Taylor Swift was performing at the Grammys or filming a shampoo commercial, but either way I thought it was pretty good. That being said, we take you seriously now Taylor. You can let the mean comments about that time you sang with Stevie Nicks go now. It would be cool next year for stage-Taylor Swift to be more like audience-Taylor Swift

Pink featuring Nate Ruess

Remember that time we tuned into a Cirque du Soleil show and a Pink concert broke out? By which I mean every awards show ever.

Fun fact: there was a shark in that audience that Pink just flew over
(Speaking of jumping the shark: Nate Ruess’ mustache)

Seriously though, I think Pink is a great performer and everything a pop star should be, I just wish she would get some new tricks already.

Ringo Starr

Good thing the Beatles’ legacy is literally impossible to soil because all I could think during that performance was "don’t let Ringo outlive Paul, don’t let Ringo outlive Paul…"

But really, please don’t let Ringo outlive Paul.

(Also, after that performance I feel certain that Pete Best is on even higher suicide watch than usual)

Kendrick Lamar/Imagine Dragons

I’m pretty sure Kendrick Lamar has never listened to an Imagine Dragons song, and I’m pretty sure their joint performance was a bit of a train wreck, but I’m also pretty sure I kind of loved it. And when during Kendrick’s last verse it appeared smoke was coming out of his microphone, well, that was totally apt.

For better or worse it’s performances like that that you can only get at the Grammys. They’re the whole reason we (and by “we” I mean I) tune in.

Kacey Musgraves

What if instead of having the Grammys we just had a Kacey Musgraves concert? Would anyone be opposed?

Two more Kacey Musgraves points:

1. I like Taylor Swift, but when Kacey Musgraves won Best Country Album I shouted SUCK IT TAYLOR SWIFT!!! Now Kacey has beaten Taylor and the circle of life begins anew.

2. Ten years from now nothing about these Grammys is going to seem dumber than the fact that Kacey Musgraves didn’t win Best New Artist.

(Are my Texas roots showing yet?)

Paul McCartney

I am an ardent and unabashed fan of Paul McCartney’s solo work but I think it’s telling that the only person they could get a shot of singing and dancing along enthusiastically to Paul’s song was his wife.

(Yoko Ono doesn’t count because it’s unclear if she was singing and dancing along or if she was just being Yoko Ono (Yoko Ono burn!))

Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Merle Haggard and Blake Shelton

Don’t know if it says more abot the Grammys or about hipsterdom that the hippest performance at the Grammys was Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, and Merle Haggard. But gold star to whoever decided to cut almost exclusively to shots of rappers during it. Says a lot that Jamie Foxx seemed more into Merle Haggard than Taylor Swift and Taylor Swifts Dancing Friend did.

Daft Punk featuring everyone who is awesome

Okay, that made the whole night worth it. It was just as great as anyone could have predicted that it would be. Apparently when you get truly great people together to perform a truly great song great things happen. Who knew?

Sara Bareillis/Carol King

Did this happen? Was this a thing that happened? I have no idea if this actually happened or not. I might have dozed off.

Bruno Mars

While I was asleep I must have missed Bruno Mars’ performance. I mean this was the Grammys after all. You can’t have a Grammys without the Grammy mascot. There’s no way they would allow that. Right??? I’m sure he must have performed, so it’s a shame I missed my annual five minutes of being a huge Bruno Mars fan. Oh well. Back to complete and total indifference towards all things Bruno Mars. Til next year Bruno Mars…

Metallica/Lang Lang

The Grammys are Willie Nelson performing with Blake Shelton and the Grammys are also Metallica performing with classical pianist Lang Lang. The Grammys are all things. The Grammys contain multitudes. So once the shock of seeing Metallica on CBS wore off I realized that the performance was actually thoroughly Grammys, no matter how atypical the Metallica part of it appeared. In the end I’m not sure how I felt about it as a performance, but I’m glad it happened and that I saw it. Long live the Grammys!

“Same Love”

I’ll try and keep this brief…

As someone who considers Eminem performing on the Grammys with Elton John a seminal moment of his adolescence I had been looking forward to the performance of “Same Love” on the Grammys for months now because I recognized it’s potential to be a similar moment for a new generation. And in the end it exceeded even my highest expectations.

I don’t know that it’ll be a cultural moment of the magnitude that Eminem’s performance was, but I think that’s more due to the fractured nature of our culture than the performance itself. Because in the end, it was a performance that perfectly captured the power of music, and its possibilities as an agent of love and hope and change. Now I know snark and the Grammys go hand and hand (I mean, have you read everything up until now?) but if you have negative snarky things to say about this performance please stop reading my blog forever and go take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. And anyone who thinks the Grammys are a pointless waste of time needs to watch this performance and then shut the hell up forever.

Neil Portnow

NEIL PORTNOW!!! I LOVE THAT NEIL PORTNOW THINKS WE REMEMBER EXACT DETAILS OF HIS SPEECH FROM LAST YEAR. BECAUSE WE TOTALLY DO!!!! HOW COULD WE EVER FORGET YOUR SPEECHES NEIL PORTNOW?? YOU ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR LIFE! THAT’S WHY IT’S GREAT YOU POSITIONED YOURSELF RIGHT AFTER THE EMOTIONAL HIGH POINT OF THE EVENING. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE EMOTIONAL HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR!!!! NEVER CHANGE NEIL PORTNOW

Everly Brothers tribute

I wish I could go back in time to 1994 and try to explain to people how not weird it will seem when one day the lead singer of Green Day performs an Everly Brothers tribute at the Grammys. Who knew at the time what a pivotal song “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” would wind up being. Or maybe I just missed something and playing acoustic guitar with Miranda Lambert is the new punk.

Lindsey Buckingham, Nine Inch Nails, Dave Grohl, and Queens of the Stone Age

This was great but also seemed like it never really had a chance to get started. Right when it finally felt like it had some real momentum they cut to the credits. Which whenever you have a rocking performance that seems like it could really invigorate the whole evening it’s best to play the closing credits over it. Great job Grammys! Speaking of which….

THE  BIG FOUR AWARDS

(Okay so this first one wasn’t so great…)

Best New Artist

“Macklemore and Ryan Lewis meet the rap group Arrested Development. Arrested Development, meet Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.”

(Speaking of introductions, can a clip of Anna Kendrick wearing that dress while doing clever comedy bits play on a loop forever? Asking for a friend.)

---------

(But these next three awards…I mean you could make a legitimate case that these are the actual song, record, and album of the year. Not an embarassing choice among them, and in all three cases the best choice out of all of the nominees. Of course all this means is that next year all of the awards are going to go to Bruno Mars and Phil Collins.)

Song of the Year

The Grammys not giving Song of the Year to “Same Love”, the most Grammys song ever, is the most Grammy thing ever. If a white rapper collaborating with a female vocalist and live instrumentation for a positive song about human rights can’t win a Grammy then what can? An ever better song by a hip young outsider dabbling in a genre all her own, challenging the mainstream status quo?? It’s like I don’t even know you any more Grammys!

Record of the Year

Daft Punk remaining in character to receive their awards was the highlight of the night and will do way more for their sales, popularity, and notoriety with the public at large than reading a list of names could have done in a million years. Lady Gaga is so pissed that she’s not Daft Punk. And unlike Lady Gaga there’s a zero percent chance the popularity and success of this Daft Punk song will ever seem dumb.

Album of the Year

Well, we now live in a world where Daft Punk have won a Grammy for Album of the Year. We’ve come a long way since Vaughn Meader. I’d also just like to say that I called this one back in June. If I had bet money I would be a wealthy man. But also betting money on the Grammys is the ultimate form of insanity. So there’s that.

But with this win, here are the past four Album of the Year winners: Arcade Fire (The Suburbs), Adele (21), Mumford and Sons (Babel), and Daft Punk (Random Access Memories). No embarrassing clunkers in the lot and all albums that had real connection to the trends and popular music scenes of their day. Large numbers of people under the age of 40 own and enjoy each of those albums. And I know some people aren’t big on Mumford and Sons but each of those albums could make a legitimate claim as the best album of their respective years. I don’t know if it’s an extended fluke or a real trend. But it’s encouraging and I profoundly hope it continues. And on that note I’m now off to come to terms with Beyonce winning next year because it’s going to take me a whole year to be emotionally ready for it.