Thoughts on Music From the Last Year and Half, or, An Entry Slightly Longer Than the Average Sufjan Stevens Song Title

As you might have noticed, it’s June of 2006. As you also might have noticed, I never got around to doing my year in review for 2005. I don’t know how you have been able to live these past five months. This has made the wait for the Pazz and Jop results seem brief by comparison. And after all this wait will you finally get a full fledged year in review? No you will not. Because at this point that would be REALLY lame. Even lamer than having an online journal. Or still calling your blog an online journal. Yes, it would be THAT lame. So in place of that, I’ll give you my musings on music from the past year and a half. After all, I think I covered my views on the movies of 2005 pretty extensively back all my Oscar “coverage”. And besides movies and music what else is there?
Okay, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear your answer to that question, as it was intended to be rhetorical ….

Thoughts on music January 2005 – June 2006
Say what you will about Odelay, but I think Guero is by far Beck’s best album. Listening to it one time made me go from not really “getting” Beck to paying money to see him in concert. That’s a good album. I still say "Girl" should have been the first single though.

(Of course no discussion of Beck would be complete without mentioning the fact that he once wrote and sang the immortal lyric “flashdance asspants”. A fact that still remains simultaneously the best and worst thing you can possibly say about Beck.)

After much scientific research I have concluded that Bloc Party’s Silent Alarm is the official soundtrack of sitting alone in a subway station in New York City at 2:30am both hyped with energy from a night of activity and falling asleep at the same time.

Kanye West, Rapper: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly:
The Good: “The rock stand tall and you aint never believe it / Take your diamonds and throw em up like you bulimic”
The Bad: “You tellin me if my grandma’s in the NBA / right now she’d be okay / but since she was just a secretary working for the church for 35 years things supposed to stop right here”
The Ugly: “Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni / turn one page and there’s my Mommy”

Memo to Kanye: Maybe I’m a little confused but it would seem to me that you are actually in fact saying that she’s a gold digger. But maybe it’s just me.

Did Common call his new album Be because it’s the de-facto B-side to Late Registration, or because he wants to be Kanye? Either way it’s a great album.

(Also after seeing John Legend on Real Time with Bill Maher I am only further convinced that the Kanye/Common/John Legend/etc. posse is by far the greatest hip-hop posse of all time.
Followed closely by The No Limit Family of course…)

I think we can all agree that the best lyric of the year is Jay-Z’s “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.” In fact his whole verse on “Diamonds From Sierra Leone” is some of his best work ever. (Props to Nas’s verse on “We Major” while we’re at it) And since I’m on the subject of Jay-Z I think it’s worth mentioning that even though he’s dating Beyonce, I really love and respect the Jigga Man. His career has been amazingly long and consistent, especially considering that 50 Cent’s is already over. And after watching Jay-Z on Centerstage on YES (don’t ask) I even sort of understand the whole Beyonce thing.

(On a semi-related note I really think 50 Cent should open a sandwich shop called Gangsta Wraps. It would instantly become my favorite restaurant of all time.)

Has anyone ever sold out as completely and shamelessly as The Black Eyed Peas?
Yes I see you raising your hand Liz Phair…

Someone alert the Pulitzer committee – there’s a new Red Hot Chili Peppers album!
I kid because I love.
No but seriously, “Hump De Bump” really speaks to me lyrically.

With Stadium Arcadium the Chili Peppers have pulled off one of the hardest feats in all of music – making a double album that actually warrants being two discs long. That’s something that even The Beatles and Bob Dylan couldn’t really pull off. So congrats boys.

For anyone who thinks rock is dead (that would include me...but more on that some other time) listen to “Turn It Again” off Stadium Arcadium. I don’t know if it proves the rock isn’t quite dead yet or just that John Frusciante and Flea are perhaps the most underrated musicians of all time, but I do know that it’s a damn good song.

(I really think Flea and John Frusciante should team up with Bono and Tre Cool from Green Day to form the greatest rock super group of all time. They could rule the world!)

(On a less exciting Stadium Arcadium related note: sadly “Wet Sand” is not a sequel to “I Like Dirt”. But I guess it at least establishs that Anthony Kiedis does still enjoy soil-like substances.)

I cant verify this for sure but I have a sneaking feeling that the guys in Wolfmother might have possibly listened to some Led Zeppelin at some point in their lives.

Some reviewer somewhere described Thunder Lightning Strike by The Go! Team as the soundtrack to the best day of your life. I would say that is a perfect description. And if you haven’t heard “Ladyflash” yet, your life is not complete.

This has nothing to do with anything but were you aware that the Canadian nickel has a beaver on it? Just thought that was worth noting.

I don’t know what’s sadder - that the Best Buy on 5th Avenue didn’t carry Morph the Cat or that I’m under the age of 40 and I made a special trip to Best Buy to get a solo CD by one of the members of Steely Dan the morning it was released.

Does Jenny Lewis have a younger sister? If so, does anyone have her number?

Separated from all the hype and expectations X & Y isn’t as bad as you remember. It’s not great, but go back and listen to it again. You’ll be glad you did.

(Plus, besides being one of my personal favorite songs in a long time, “Fix You” really makes the whole Gwyneth / Chris Martin thing make perfect sense doesn’t it?)

Before I forget, how about a moment to discuss my favorite music related “thing” of ‘05 – Sufjan Stevens’ song titles. Much like the great !!! (Chk Chk Chk) problem of ’01, only not completely lame, we need to come to a consensus on how one should refer to specific Sufjan Stevens’ songs. Let’s take “They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!” for example. Now if one wanted to tell their friend they should listen to this song how would they tell them the song’s name? Would they use the whole title? If so, how would they deal with the “Ahhhh”? Would that just consist of them yelling? Now the obvious answer would be that the person would just use the first part, “They Are Night Zombies!!”, but unlike Polyphonic Spree or Billy Corgan, Sufjan didn’t put the rest of the ridiculously long title in parenthesis, which means he considered the whole thing to be the title and not just the first part. And if one did disobey Sufjan’s intentions and just refer to it as “They Are Night Zombies!!” that still leaves the issue of the punctuation. Its clearly there for a reason, so does that mean that when saying the title out loud you must exclaim it? What if the location where you are telling your friend about this song is in a library? What then? And don’t even get me started on the problems raised by others songs like “The Tallest Man, the Broadest Shoulders, Pt. I: The Great Frontier/Pt. II: Come to Me Only With Playthings Now” or “The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience But You’re Going to Have To Leave Now, or, ‘I Have Fought the Big Knives…’”. See why we really need to, as a nation, come to some sort of consensus about these.

(While we are talking about “They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!” I think its worth considering the fact that if that song title is accurate then that means that the zombies could clearly give Andre 3000 some sugar.)

I think its quite possible that when Sufjan gets around to making his album about Texas it will be the greatest album of all time. And I’m not just saying that because I’m from there. Which brings us to…
Top 3 & 1/2 Most Anticipated Sufjan Stevens Albums:
1.) Texas
2.) California
3.) New York
3 & 1/2.) Alaska

(Rumor has it his next one will be about Oregon which somehow feels completely appropriate)

(It’s been said many times but it bears repeating that the fact that Sufjan Stevens could make a graphic song about a serial killer (“John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”) both moving and somewhat sympathetic is a sign that he’s a ridiculous talented songwriter. I think equally impressive though is the fact that he could make the phrase “Stephen A. Douglas was a great debtor / Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator” so catchy that it was stuck in my head for two days straight and there was absolutely nothing I could do to get it out. Oh no...I think by even typing it I just got it stuck in my head again…AHHH!)

I think its safe to say that “Come On! Feel the Illiniose!, Pt. I: The Worlds Columbian Exposition / Pt. II: Carl Sandburg Visits Me In a Dream” is the best song ever written about the World’s Columbian Exposition and/or Carl Sandburg.

I couldn’t come up with anything clever to say about them, but they’re worth mentioning anyway: My Morning Jacket, Broken Social Scene, The Hold Steady

On to the awards…

Album of the Year 2005:
Late Registration – Kanye West. Although if you didn’t already know that then I wonder where exactly you spent your 2005. To take nothing away from Kanye but it was a pretty weak year for music overall. In fact you could make the case that although Late Registration was the best album of 2005, that it isn’t even the best Kanye West album from the last 24 months. College Dropout is better in almost every category: massive ubiquitous single (“Jesus Walks” over “Gold Digger”), 7+ minute song with spoken segment (“Last Call” over “We Major”), family song (“Family Business” over “Hey Mama”), number of hit songs, skits, etc., but somehow Late Registration just FEELS like the better album. College Dropout felt like a great commercial hip-hop album, but Late Registration feels like Outkast-level art. Its more adventurous, more socially conscious, less commercial and hit driven, and you can literally feel Jon Brion’s influence. After all, he’s “on the keys right now”.

(Does anyone else find Kanye’s apparent obsession with Fiona Apple a bit strange. And why has more not been made of the fact that Jon Brion produced the best rap album of the year and Mike Elizondo produced the best Fiona Apple album of the year? Am I the only one who thinks about these things? Probably.)

Single of the Year 2005:
I think we all know the best song of the year is “Since U Been Gone”. There’s really no point to even discussing this fact. I think the only real debate is: is it the best song of the decade? I don’t know if it’s quite on level with “Lose Yourself”, “Hey Ya”, and “Jesus Walks”, but the fact that it’s even in the discussion is pretty good. And the fact that a song by Kelly Clarkson might be the clubhouse leader for non-hip-hop single of the 00’s is pretty astounding. (See, told you rock is dead).

(On a side note, since this decade is almost half over can we figure out how to refer to it sometime soon? I mean are we really destined to be watching “I Love the Aughts: 3-D” in 10 years? Is that the best we can come up with?)

(I can’t mention singles of the year without also acknowledging “This Modern Love” by Bloc Party. I only wish Id written it first.)

(On the opposite end of the spectrum: “Laffy Taffy”, “My Humps”, “Had a Bad Day”, “Don’t Cha”.)

Most Underrated Album of 2005:
Almost as undebatable as Best Single of 2005, is Most Underrated Album of 2005. That tile indisputably belongs to Ben Folds for Songs for Silverman. It a huge leap forward and a radical and unexpected shift in tone and direction for a critically respected and commercially successful artist and yet it wasn’t in Rolling Stone or Spin’s Top 40 Albums of the year. I don’t understand how really. “Landed” is by far one of the best singles of the year and its probably not even one of the top two songs on its own album. Those would be “Late” and “Jesusland”. All of the songs, but especially those two, take simplicity and understatement to magical new places. Instead of wallowing in sentiment or taking a song about his daughter, or Jesus and the hypocrisy of his followers, or the death of Elliot Smith to the places 99% of artists would take them to, he scales them back to almost nothing, leaving unique, personal and deeply felt songs that are infinitely better for their stark minimalism. Listen to Ben talk about “Late” on the DVD that came with the CD and you can really grasp the song's brilliance. He didn’t even really know Elliot Smith but he enjoyed his music and had heard that he played a dirty game of basketball, so he wrote a song to him using that information and nothing more, and it’s one of the best tributes a person could receive. It’s only a shame Elliot isn’t around to hear it. Coming off his three EPs and, well, his whole prior ovure, hearing such grown up, stripped down, simple songs from Ben was starling and completely unexpected. And its only a shame more people didn’t hear it.

(You should also check out Ben's songs from the Over The Hedge soundtrack. Although its what Jeff Daniels' character from The Squid and the Whale would call "minor Folds", it's still worth checking out. Although the less said about the "Rockin the Suburbs" remix with William Shatner the better.)


Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week
1.) No Direction Home
2.) Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium (album)
3.) Quiznos
3 & 1/2.) Tenacious D – “Wonderboy” (why I am the last person on earth to get into Tenacious D, and how come no one exposed me to them sooner?)

Thought of the Week:
Apparently Mike Nichols is directing Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in a film written by Aaron Sorkin, and Spike Jonze is directing an adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are written by Dave Eggers. It’s hard to know which project to be more excited about.

Guilty as Charged

Hi there. I’m writing really small because I have an important and very personal secret to reveal to you today.

I like a Kelly Clarkson song.

Yes, that Kelly Clarkson. I like one of her songs.

No I don’t think U you understand. I really, REALLY like a Kelly Clarkson song. I like a Kelly Clarkson song so much that after living in place for seven months that didn’t allow me to illegally download music the first thing I did upon setting up my computer in my new place was to download said Kelly Clarkson song. I did that before I even hooked up my printer or speakers. That’s how much I like “Since U Been Gone”. And believe it or not, I’m not even gay! So I don’t even have a valid excuse.

Oh yeah, except this one: It’s a good song.

Now I do realize I’m revealing this secret on the internet in an online blog, the province of the innately hip and judgmental. I know that people like you never let arguments like “it’s a good song” get in the way of your cultural superiority. But guess what? You like it too. Don’t worry though, Ted Leo said its okay. In fact he liked the song so much he did a cover of it. That’s right, Mr. Ted Leo, of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists – the most hip pretentious band name since Stephan Malkimus and the Jicks or whatever Billy Corgan’s next band is called - did a cover of “Since U Been Gone”. So there. Fredtheonlinejournal and Ted Leo both have publicly stated they like “Since U Been Gone”. What you got to say about that?

Now “cool” people have been secretly liking “manufactured radio friendly pop songs” since the beginning of time. I’m sure Olaf the Caveman used to keep his Goldor Boys CDs in a special CD case under his bed where no one would find them. And this continues today. I know you’ve got your ABBA Gold in between your A Tribe Called Quest and your Aphex Twin on your Ipod. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. And that’s what me and Ted Leo are here to tell you: Stop feeling guilty about your guilty pleasures.

Now I know all the reasons one “should” feel guilty about liking a radio friendly pop song produced by some faceless corporate entity and performed by some prepackaged artificial pop star, but I aint buyin any of them. As proof let me one by one remove them from my ideological shopping cart so we can proceed to the conclusion without them.

*“(Fill in the blank) doesn’t write their own songs!”

Well neither did Elvis or Frank Sinatra or Aretha Franklin. Hell Bobby Darin’s entire career was founded on a song by Bertolt Brecht. Ray Charles didn’t write “Georgia on My Mind” On”, Sinead O’Connor didn’t write “Nothing Compares to U”, Marvin Gaye wasn’t the original author of “Whats Goin On” and Sisquo didn’t write “The Thong Song”. Does that somehow make them not as good? Actually lets just forget that last one. I think Sisquo actually DID write “The Thong Song”.

*“(Fill in the blank) doesn’t play their own instruments!”

Did Otis Redding play an instrument? Did Robert Plant? Does Bono? Does Meg White?

*”(Fill in the blank) is so mainstream and/or lacking in artistic merit!”

You know who was the biggest mainstream pop band of all time? The Beatles. I mean what else would you classify their music as? You know who else is “pop”? The B-52s, Brian Wilson, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, Phil Spector, Carol King, Prince, Steely Dan, Todd Rundgren, ELO, The Bee Gees, and the list goes on and on. You like any music by any of those artists? Then what’s the big deal?

Well, let me assume some things about the general attitude many people around here have towards pop music because we all know what assuming does.

It makes me really cool.

“Pop” is short for “popular”. Which is what you weren’t earlier in life, or maybe even today. Okay, I get it. But don’t take it out on music. “Mmmbop” never shoved you in a locker. “Cry Me A River” never wouldn’t go to the dance with you. “Fred the Online Journal” didn’t just use a double negative in that last sentence. “I’m” not a liar. But I am veering wildly off track. Point is, get down off your high horse and accept that just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s bad. In fact if the goal of art is to express universal truths then shouldn’t it stand to reason that the art that speaks to the greatest number of people is greater than the art that speaks to only a few. “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”, “Joshua Tree”, “American Idiot”, “Nevermind”, “OK Computer”- these are albums that are able to be of the highest artistic quality and yet also be found in nearly everyone’s CD collection. Now of course those are all “cool” albums, but we all know you have “Thriller”, “Cracked Rear View”, “Justified”, “Devil Without a Cause”, “Saturday Night Fever”, “The Immaculate Collection”, a few 20th Century Master’s CDs, and who knows what else too. And you know what? Those albums aren’t any less valid. They serve just as a great a purpose as the ones on the first list. And I should know because I own them all too. And I’m proud of it. Because SOMETHING about those multi-million copy selling CDs speaks to great numbers of people, even if the only thing it speaks to is the desire to “shake your ass” and/or “watch yourself”. But even if getting you to dance is its only real goal, popular mainstream songs definitely serve an invaluable role in the world. Pop music strives to create a shared experience among all people. A sort of musical bond. Put on Wilco at a social function and it’s nice and all, but put on “YMCA” “Bohemian Rhapsody” or “Ice Ice Baby” and see what happens. The world needs songs that EVERYONE knows and enjoys.

Also, these songs often speak in the most direct way to universal themes. Love, betrayal, lust, longing, hurt. You know, those cliché things called emotions. You can’t tell me that “Sometimes” by Britney Spears and “What a Girl Wants” by Christina Aguliara aren’t deep in their own ways. And explain to me how Beck singing “Na na Na na na na Na na” or “flashdance asspants” is any more artistically valid than Hanson singing “Mmmbop ba du ba dop Ba du bop”. Is it just because he’s Beck and they’re Hanson? That argument won’t hold up in court.

Instead of fighting it, just embrace that fact that sometimes when you need a little directness or a little nonsense it doesn’t really matter where it comes from. Which brings us back to “Since U Been Gone”, a song that carries on the proud tradition of “I Will Survive”, “Survivor”, and everything else in the “I’m Better Off Without You” genre. Sure when you have a breakup, “Sea Change” and Elliot Smith are nice. But I bet some mid 90’s country music and “Since U Been Gone” work pretty good too.

Someone wiser than I once said there’s not “high art” and “low art”, there’s just “art”. And I think that’s true. And in fact trying to go against that maxim usually leads to trouble. For as many songs as there are like “Since U Been Gone” that shouldn’t be good but are, there are just as many songs that should be good but aren’t because they try so hard to be “artistic”. For exhibits A-Z turn to Bright Eyes’ “When the President Talks to God”. It’s a great song lyrically and I firmly believe it could have actually made a difference in the election if the words and ideas in it had been heard by more people. But of course Connor Oberst wrapped his lyrics in a strictly acoustic song devoid of any rhythm or melody. If he had actually wanted to make a difference with his song he would have added a bunch of “music” to it, actually bothered to sing the words, and given it some sort of catchy or memorable or at least existent melody. That way it could have been played on the radio reached the people who needed to hear it and really made a difference in the world. Instead he refused to sacrifice one ounce of his “indie cred” to actually make a difference in the world and instead made the song as hip and inaccessible as possible insuring that it would only ever be heard by and affect those who already agreed with him in the first place. It would be like if John Fogarty had said “hey I’ve got this song ‘Fortunate Son’ but instead of putting a melody to it and singing the words, I’m gonna strum a chord on my acoustic guitar every few seconds and speak the words in a really grating aggressive pretentious voice.” I mean, it’s just ridiculous. Most these “indie bands” will never change the world because they hold it in such contempt. Their fear of pop and the common man will hold them back from ever really making an impact on the world. Ironic that liberalism is supposed to be about openness and acceptance and yet “we” can’t tolerate anyone different than us, or who listens to Britney Spears.

Now this isn’t to defend someone who only listens to pop. But it’s just speaking out against people who aren’t well rounded and accepting of good art and entertainment no matter where it might come from. The person who only listens to Britney Spears is no worse than the person who only listens to jazz or only listens to hip hop. One may be stupid and the other just too specialized, but either way they are both missing out on the fullness of life. So don’t be that guy or gal who takes that pretentious tone and says “I don’t watch TV” or “I don’t listen to the radio” or some other such thing. Such there’s a lot of crap out there, but there’s a lot of good too. Now this is coming from someone who’s as guilty of these sins as anyone, but it’s also coming from someone who coined the phrase “just because it’s on the radio doesn’t mean its bad”. And it’s that side of me I’m going to listen to now. I’m committed to becoming a reformed cultural snob. I can change. We all can. And that’s why I’m admitting to all of this here today.

So repeat after me:
“If it’s good, it’s good…even if Kelly Clarkson sings it”

It’s alright, just say it. Pop music wont bite. It’s perfectly harmless. In fact the way I see it, pop music is like chocolate- it doesn’t really provide any nourishment and if you ate it all the time you would be a fat slovenly bum who would die of a heart attack at age 40, but it does bring pleasure to your life, and when you DO eat it, it’s damn good. So eat your vegetables and your fruits and your grilled chicken pita wraps, but don’t forget dessert. And when you eat that dessert, don’t feel ashamed. Don’t feel “guilty”. Because unless you’re friends with Laura Flynn Boyle, then everyone you know eats their fair share of sweets. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Indulge a little and don’t be embarrassed about it or feel the need to pretend you didn’t enjoy it or purge it from your system afterwards. Don’t be cultural bulimics. Don’t feel bad about enjoying “The Wedding Crashers”. Don’t hide your copy of “Mean Girls” when you have company. Don’t act like you don’t know the words to “Baby Got Back”. Because when it comes to songs like “Baby Got Back” and “Since U Been Gone” you can’t say they are not catchy, or that they don’t make you want to get up and dance (or at least move around excitedly).
But if you want to accuse them of giving you pleasure…well then…I guess they’re guilty.


Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
1.) The Rita Watch (word to my peeps in H-Town)
2.) Common - "Be" (album)
3.) Scrabble
3 & 1/2.) ESPN


Thought of the Week:
"I dont think there are going to be any parents naming their kids Katrina for at least five years now. Just like there havent been too many kids born lately named Nine Eleven." - Caroline McGraw