There is a long list of reasons why I havent updated the journal recently. This list begins with "Con" and ends with "Edison". And in between there are other non-electricty related reasons inlcuding "Being in a play" "Training for/starting a new job" and "Fighting with my landlord". And if all those things werent enough, Im now leaving for New Hampshire. Thats right, in case you didnt get the memo, Im leaving for three weeks to tour with the New England Shakespeare Festival. Tommorrow I leave for that theater mecca of Deerfield, New Hampshire and I will stay there until August 14th, pursuing fame, fortune, and probably scabies. I also hopefully will finally at long last be able to determine for myself which state is New Hampshire and which state is Vermont.
Im very excited.
But the point of this story as it relates to you is that I might be out of commission for a while. I know I will have internet access while on tour but I dont know if Ill have any time to write. Its a shame because I have a lot of things Id like to discuss with you in a semi-humorous and self important manner. But I dont know if this will be possible until after the 14th.
And whle Im on the subject (or not on the subject as the case may be) if you see anyone walking around in a Con Ed uniform, punch them in the face for me. Seriously, the Queens blackout made the transit strike seem like Christmas. Who is the head of Con Ed? Michael Brown? And let Bloomberg know he's lost my vote. If he can even run again that is.
Okay enough with that. On to the rejected columns.
What rejected columns you ask? The two I'm about to give you. They were two colums written for other sites but rejected by those sites and so now they end up here. Well one's more of a list than a column, but whatever. Theyre both rejects.
Anyway, If I dont talk to you again have a great early August. And Ill be back soon with great new stuff. I promise. (Wilmer Valderamma consider this your warning.)
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How The Name Of The Band Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Would Be Different If It Had Been Named By Specific Other People
P. Diddy: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Remix)
Lil' Jon: Clap Your Hands Say YEEEEEAAAHH
Ice-T: Clap Your Hands Motherfucker
Dolly Parton: Clap Yalls Hands Say Ye-Haw
Phillip Glass: Clap Your Hands Clap Your Hands Clap Your Hands
Jewel: Clap These Hands Which Are Not Yours They Are My Own
Marilyn Manson: Chop Off Your Hands And Sacrifice Them To Satan
Sufjan Stevens: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!!! or The Strange Tale of the Moving Hands and the Resulant Exclaimations of Those People Involved
Prince: &
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The Disembowelment of Our Heroes
A few short years ago we all experienced one of the greatest tragedies in our nation’s history. At the time we all agreed that Hollywood should never try to make the events of that day into a film. But now they have. And I for one say it’s too soon. The wounds are still too fresh. The emotions still too raw. And for some of us, like myself, the pain and grief such a film would cause would be too much to bear. Because I, like so many others, lost a loved one that day. My brother was aboard that flight. And it is in his name I say we must prevent Hollywood from tainting the memory of that day with the stain of commercialism. We must stop them from tarnishing the legacy of the heroes aboard that flight. We must stop their blasphemies and lies. We must stop Snakes on Plane.
See, lost in the hype about Snakes on a Plane is the fact that’s its just another in a long line of movies Hollywood has made to exploit and profit from real life tragedies. In that way it’s just like Schindlers List.
Only instead of Nazis there are snakes.
And instead of the Holocaust it’s an airplane.
But that doesn’t make it any less real. Or any less tragic. I mean those weren’t just an ethnically and culturally diverse group of stereotypical one-dimensional characters aboard that plane. They were real people. Real people who fought back against those snakes. And my brother was one of them.
He was a brave man. A noble man. A courageous man. A man who ultimately had his bleeding entrails ripped out of his body by motherfucking snakes. And he deserves better than to have his heroic deeds and good name sullied with the stain of Hollywood commercialism. We just can’t trust Hollywood to do his story justice. I mean, even though his last words he said to me over the phone were “I’m getting my entrails ripped out by motherfucking snakes” it is impossible and irresponsible to try and guess what happened aboard that fateful flight. But has that stopped Hollywood from doing so? No! They have no respect for anything. Look at their casting choices for example. Samuel L. Jackson? As a hero? Anyone who has ever seen a movie knows that black people can only be villains, drug dealers or wise all-knowing narrators. But a hero? I don’t buy it. And Julianna Margulies? She’s too closely associated with her unforgettable and iconic character from ER to ever be believed in another other role. Her presence in the film will surely shatter the audience’s suspension of disbelief. It’s a shame to see her agree to be in such garbage. O, how the mighty have fallen.
But alas, despite all of my qualms with the film Hollywood will not listen to me. So that is why I ask you to join me and boycott this exploitative film. Together we can make sure it never sees the light of day. Sure you can stand by and allow it to be released, but it’s a slippery slope my friend. Today its snake on a plane, tomorrow it’ll be hamsters in a Honda Civic. And soon no animal/form of transportation combination will be sacred. And the memories of all of our country’s greatest heroes will be forever tainted. So stand up against this exploitation and this shameless commercialism.
Don’t even think.
Just do it.
Showing posts with label United 93. Show all posts
Showing posts with label United 93. Show all posts
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
United 93
This wasn’t what I was intending to post this week. I had something else all ready to go and was going to kick back and enjoy a relaxing weekend. But then something happened. I saw United 93. And now I sit here typing away ignoring the fact that I already had something perfectly fine typed and ready to go. Because now things have changed. Now I actually have something to say. And that something is this - Go see United 93. Well actually it’s a little more complicated than that. What I have to say I mean. Not the seeing of the movie. That remains quite easy. Just go to your nearest theater ask for a ticket. And then sit down and say goodbye for a few hours to your cynical complacent self-involved life. Because United 93 will take you away from your every day life and back to the core of what it means to be human, of what it means to be alive in our world today, and to the day when both of those changed forever in some way.
Now I know what you’re thinking - we need more 9/11 commentary like we need another Nick Lachey album. And I agree with you. But…what I was struck by while watching United 93 is how now all of the commentary focuses on the aftermath of 9/11 and what it all means instead of dealing with the actual day itself. Its almost impossible to fathom nowadays that September 11th used to just be a normal day on the calendar, no more or less important than any other and with no weight or significance to it whatsoever. When the people went to bed on September 10th 2001 they didn’t think, “Wow tomorrow is September 11th”. When they woke up that morning and started on their way to work it seemed just like every other morning. But then two planes hit the twin towers and one hit the Pentagon (amazing how we all forget this fact) and the world was forever changed. Changed in ways we could have never predicted or imagined. In the hours, upon days, upon years of coverage and analysis and commentary and debate that have followed 9/11 we seem to have only proven how unknowable human nature and the nature of tragedy are. I remember people at the time saying in all seriousness that Americans would never be able to fully laugh again. I remember great predictions of a new age of national togetherness, bipartisanship, and patriotism. Now five years later we all hate each other, but damn it if we don’t love to laugh about it. We swore we would catch those responsible for the attacks, but now we’re in war with Iraq that may never end and Osama Bin Laden is STILL on the loose. George Bush’s approval rating soared to 90%, but now he’s being openly considered one of the worst presidents in U.S. history. There was an unprecedented outpouring of global sympathy and support for the U.S., but now we’re one of the most hated countries in the world. If you were to go back to September 11th 2001 and tell them what the world would be like five years later as a result of that day, I doubt they would be able to believe you. But for all the ways the world has changed in a global sense, our personal day-to-day lives are pretty much exactly the same. Sure we live in a more fearful society now, and sure our national innocence was lost that day, but in our daily lives - day in and day out – we’re pretty much the same people we were before 9/11. All those people who made radical post-9/11 related life changes; I would wager that most of those people’s day-to-day lives now pretty closely resemble their pre-9/11 lives. I can’t say I or anyone else goes around every day, or even ANY day, thinking about 9/11. And I can’t say that my mentality on life or the way I live my life has been in any way noticeably directly affected by that day. In fact I would really struggle to find almost any way in which my day-to-day personal life and who I am was affected by 9/11. And most of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, would probably say the same thing. And if you do still walk around every day thinking about 9/11 and feeling deeply changed and/or tormented by it, might I suggest you get yourself some serious professional help post-haste. Because life goes on. Human beings are programmed so that we can experience tragedy, mourn over it, deal with it, and then accept it and move on. It’s a gift really. If we weren’t able to do that then none of us would ever be able to make it out of our mid 20’s without becoming too overwhelmed with grief and sorrow to live. Human beings are the most adaptable species on Earth and that’s allowed us to adapt to life in a post-9/11 world. But it’s important in this life to stop and think back. And remember. Because as much as we hear about 9/11 we never really remember it. We never actually sit down and think long and hard about the event itself. Because we’ve moved on. But it happened. It was something real and tragic and we were all there. And on that day, we said we would never be able to get over it. But we did. We hung signs that said “We Will Never Forget”. But we have. And we said there’s no way a movie could ever be made about it. But now one has been. And it’s because we were wrong about the first two things that we were also wrong about the third. And that’s why it’s important to see United 93. To remember. To remember not just the idea of 9/11 and all that’s attached to it, but to actually remember 9/11. To remember that day. Because in all the 9/11 commentary that has followed that’s the thing that has gotten lost. And that is why I urge you all, all six of you who read this, to go see it before it leaves theaters. And then urge everyone else in America to as well.
The other day when I was going to see it, I tried to urge my friend from work to come along. He looked at me like I had just asked him to come with me to watch a guy kill baby kittens. “Why do you want to see that?” he asked with a tone that could best be described as incredulous. And in that moment I felt very, very sad for America. And it’s really what spurred the writing of this piece.
Now the fact that the American movie going public is stupid and doesn’t like good, challenging or sophisticated movies is no news flash. I worked at Blockbuster for three years, so trust me, no one could have less faith in the American movie going public than me. But in that moment I realized how truly soft we’ve become. How self-involved. How coddled and safe and numb and unable to deal with anything that might challenge us or make us really feel genuine emotion, as opposed to the idea of emotion. As Owen Gleiberman points out in Entertainment Weekly, have you seen the list of movies that have made more money than United 93? You’re telling me people would really rather see She’s The Man and Silent Hill than United 93? What does this say about them? What does this say about us? How did we go from a country that used to watch live Civil War battles for family entertainment, to a country that cant even fathom the thought of wanting to see a reenactment of the most important historic event of our lifetimes. An event that we CLAIM to be so personally affected by. An event that we CLAIM forever altered out lives. Yet an event that we can’t even take two hours out of our busy lives to revisit and see dramatized. What is wrong with us? Granted it’s horrifying, and depressing, and yes it could even be described as a bit traumatic, but isn’t that what drama was invented for – to provide us with, as Aristotle said, “catharsis”. Isn’t this the very foundation that all dramatic art is based upon? And what event could we all use some catharsis regarding if not 9/11? The Ancient Greeks would have flocked to see United 93 in huge numbers. It would have been the biggest movie of all time. So how then did we get to this place? This place where we seem incredulous that drama would dare depict a horrible tragedy or that anyone would actually want to see it.
Now I’ve heard all the arguments…
* “It’s too soon.”
Oh really? Five years is too soon? How about the two TV movies that came before United 93? Were they too soon? How about the countless documentaries that have come and gone? How about the plays? The short films? The books? Are all of those things too soon too? How long SHOULD we wait then? Ten years? Fifteen years? Would forty years be too soon? Because I would hate for art to attempt to deal with something in a timely and relevant manner. It would be terrible if art to tried to shed any light on real life. That’s not the purpose of art or anything. Oh wait...actually it is. And the ability of movies to do just that – illuminate real life – is what raises them from pure entertainment into the realm of art. So is it too soon, or do you just hate all art?
* “It’s too real.”
Yes I agree. Hollywood should never make any movies about any real events. Actors should never play real people. How dare Hollywood make movies like Born on the Fourth of July or Schindler’s List! Look, to be real for a second, all of the families of everyone who died aboard Flight 93 approved of this movie. So who the hell are you to say it’s not okay? Unless you know someone who died aboard that flight, you really have no right to say whether United 93 should or should not have been made. How would you feel if someone you loved died in a tragedy and people tried to tell you that a movie shouldn’t be made that depicted for the world for all eternity their heroism and bravery? You’d tell them to shut the hell up. So you should do the same.
* “I think its wrong that the movie studio is, in a way, profiting from 9/11.”
Good point. Artists should never profit from their works. All art of any kind done about 9/11 should be done solely for charity. Same with Pearl Harbor. And the Holocaust. Look, it’d be one thing if it was a bad, disrespectful, Hollywoodized version of the events. But it’s an incredibly well done movie that was made with the utmost care and respect for all involved. I think its pretty safe to say that a better movie about 9/11 cannot and will not ever be made. So if you have a problem supporting that with your money then so be it. But just know that if you actually saw the movie I don’t think you would have the same complaint.
* “It’s too depressing.”
Wasn’t Terms of Endearment depressing? Or Love Story? Or Hamlet?
* “It’s too tragic.”
Wasn’t Brokeback Mountain tragic? Or Death of a Salesman? Or Titanic?
Look I could go on with your potential excuses all day and I could have a rebuttal for all of them, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Because your real reason for not wanting to see it has nothing to with the movie itself. It has to do with you. To paraphrase Owen Gliberman, “it’s not the movie that we should be discussing; it’s our fear of seeing it.”
So I have a challenge for you. Face your fear. Take two hours out of your life and see United 93. It may be painful, it may be sad, it may be hard to watch, but that’s life and I think it’s about time you starting dealing with it. You owe it to the people who died that day, and you owe it to yourself. Because if you can’t even be bothered to see United 93 then how can you claim that 9/11 was a big deal for you? How can you use it as an excuse to justify the war? To justify supporting our current foreign policy? How can you claim it changed your life, or was important, or that you’ll never forget it if you cant even be bothered to take two measly hours out of your trite self-involved life to honor the memory of those that died, to reflect on that day, and to experience some cathartic remembrance of it? You cant.
It’s as simple as that.
Now if you still don’t want to see United 93, well, that’s your call. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and as strongly as I may feel about mine, you’re entitled to yours. It’s your right. As an American and as human being. But let me tell you what you’re missing out on. You’re missing out on experiencing again the feelings of that fateful day and the days that followed. The patriotism. The feeling of togetherness. The renewed love for your loved ones and for your fellow man. All the feelings that have been obfuscated by the events that have followed. But for the few minutes after the closing credits start to roll, they come flooding back. You wipe your eyes, gather yourself, and head out onto the street. And sure enough as you leave the theater you feel connected to your fellow man. You wait for the train and you see the people who walk by not as a mass of annoyances, but as a series of faces, and behind each face a person. A person who shares this world with you and who has a life and loves and is just like you. And as their feet trudge by up the steps and into the dimming light of another quickly fading day you hear each pair of footsteps as its own. A group of individuals moving together in a sea of humanity. A sea capable of great and heroic things. And you’re reminded – this is what it means to be alive. And that’s what makes United 93 essential viewing. That’s why it should be shown in schools. That’s why it should be in every home. That’s why it should be mandatory viewing for every man, woman, and child that calls this country of ours home. Because that feeling is there. It’s there on the screen in United 93.
Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
(Further 9/11 related reading)
1.) "Manifesto": http://www.slate.com/id/2105672
2.) Owen Gleiberman's article on United 93: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,1195450_1_0_,00.html
3.) Peter Travers Review of United 93: http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/_/id/9216055/rid/10146749/
3 & 1/2.) CNN's 9/11 Video archives: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/trade.center/day.video.09.html#11th
Now I know what you’re thinking - we need more 9/11 commentary like we need another Nick Lachey album. And I agree with you. But…what I was struck by while watching United 93 is how now all of the commentary focuses on the aftermath of 9/11 and what it all means instead of dealing with the actual day itself. Its almost impossible to fathom nowadays that September 11th used to just be a normal day on the calendar, no more or less important than any other and with no weight or significance to it whatsoever. When the people went to bed on September 10th 2001 they didn’t think, “Wow tomorrow is September 11th”. When they woke up that morning and started on their way to work it seemed just like every other morning. But then two planes hit the twin towers and one hit the Pentagon (amazing how we all forget this fact) and the world was forever changed. Changed in ways we could have never predicted or imagined. In the hours, upon days, upon years of coverage and analysis and commentary and debate that have followed 9/11 we seem to have only proven how unknowable human nature and the nature of tragedy are. I remember people at the time saying in all seriousness that Americans would never be able to fully laugh again. I remember great predictions of a new age of national togetherness, bipartisanship, and patriotism. Now five years later we all hate each other, but damn it if we don’t love to laugh about it. We swore we would catch those responsible for the attacks, but now we’re in war with Iraq that may never end and Osama Bin Laden is STILL on the loose. George Bush’s approval rating soared to 90%, but now he’s being openly considered one of the worst presidents in U.S. history. There was an unprecedented outpouring of global sympathy and support for the U.S., but now we’re one of the most hated countries in the world. If you were to go back to September 11th 2001 and tell them what the world would be like five years later as a result of that day, I doubt they would be able to believe you. But for all the ways the world has changed in a global sense, our personal day-to-day lives are pretty much exactly the same. Sure we live in a more fearful society now, and sure our national innocence was lost that day, but in our daily lives - day in and day out – we’re pretty much the same people we were before 9/11. All those people who made radical post-9/11 related life changes; I would wager that most of those people’s day-to-day lives now pretty closely resemble their pre-9/11 lives. I can’t say I or anyone else goes around every day, or even ANY day, thinking about 9/11. And I can’t say that my mentality on life or the way I live my life has been in any way noticeably directly affected by that day. In fact I would really struggle to find almost any way in which my day-to-day personal life and who I am was affected by 9/11. And most of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, would probably say the same thing. And if you do still walk around every day thinking about 9/11 and feeling deeply changed and/or tormented by it, might I suggest you get yourself some serious professional help post-haste. Because life goes on. Human beings are programmed so that we can experience tragedy, mourn over it, deal with it, and then accept it and move on. It’s a gift really. If we weren’t able to do that then none of us would ever be able to make it out of our mid 20’s without becoming too overwhelmed with grief and sorrow to live. Human beings are the most adaptable species on Earth and that’s allowed us to adapt to life in a post-9/11 world. But it’s important in this life to stop and think back. And remember. Because as much as we hear about 9/11 we never really remember it. We never actually sit down and think long and hard about the event itself. Because we’ve moved on. But it happened. It was something real and tragic and we were all there. And on that day, we said we would never be able to get over it. But we did. We hung signs that said “We Will Never Forget”. But we have. And we said there’s no way a movie could ever be made about it. But now one has been. And it’s because we were wrong about the first two things that we were also wrong about the third. And that’s why it’s important to see United 93. To remember. To remember not just the idea of 9/11 and all that’s attached to it, but to actually remember 9/11. To remember that day. Because in all the 9/11 commentary that has followed that’s the thing that has gotten lost. And that is why I urge you all, all six of you who read this, to go see it before it leaves theaters. And then urge everyone else in America to as well.
The other day when I was going to see it, I tried to urge my friend from work to come along. He looked at me like I had just asked him to come with me to watch a guy kill baby kittens. “Why do you want to see that?” he asked with a tone that could best be described as incredulous. And in that moment I felt very, very sad for America. And it’s really what spurred the writing of this piece.
Now the fact that the American movie going public is stupid and doesn’t like good, challenging or sophisticated movies is no news flash. I worked at Blockbuster for three years, so trust me, no one could have less faith in the American movie going public than me. But in that moment I realized how truly soft we’ve become. How self-involved. How coddled and safe and numb and unable to deal with anything that might challenge us or make us really feel genuine emotion, as opposed to the idea of emotion. As Owen Gleiberman points out in Entertainment Weekly, have you seen the list of movies that have made more money than United 93? You’re telling me people would really rather see She’s The Man and Silent Hill than United 93? What does this say about them? What does this say about us? How did we go from a country that used to watch live Civil War battles for family entertainment, to a country that cant even fathom the thought of wanting to see a reenactment of the most important historic event of our lifetimes. An event that we CLAIM to be so personally affected by. An event that we CLAIM forever altered out lives. Yet an event that we can’t even take two hours out of our busy lives to revisit and see dramatized. What is wrong with us? Granted it’s horrifying, and depressing, and yes it could even be described as a bit traumatic, but isn’t that what drama was invented for – to provide us with, as Aristotle said, “catharsis”. Isn’t this the very foundation that all dramatic art is based upon? And what event could we all use some catharsis regarding if not 9/11? The Ancient Greeks would have flocked to see United 93 in huge numbers. It would have been the biggest movie of all time. So how then did we get to this place? This place where we seem incredulous that drama would dare depict a horrible tragedy or that anyone would actually want to see it.
Now I’ve heard all the arguments…
* “It’s too soon.”
Oh really? Five years is too soon? How about the two TV movies that came before United 93? Were they too soon? How about the countless documentaries that have come and gone? How about the plays? The short films? The books? Are all of those things too soon too? How long SHOULD we wait then? Ten years? Fifteen years? Would forty years be too soon? Because I would hate for art to attempt to deal with something in a timely and relevant manner. It would be terrible if art to tried to shed any light on real life. That’s not the purpose of art or anything. Oh wait...actually it is. And the ability of movies to do just that – illuminate real life – is what raises them from pure entertainment into the realm of art. So is it too soon, or do you just hate all art?
* “It’s too real.”
Yes I agree. Hollywood should never make any movies about any real events. Actors should never play real people. How dare Hollywood make movies like Born on the Fourth of July or Schindler’s List! Look, to be real for a second, all of the families of everyone who died aboard Flight 93 approved of this movie. So who the hell are you to say it’s not okay? Unless you know someone who died aboard that flight, you really have no right to say whether United 93 should or should not have been made. How would you feel if someone you loved died in a tragedy and people tried to tell you that a movie shouldn’t be made that depicted for the world for all eternity their heroism and bravery? You’d tell them to shut the hell up. So you should do the same.
* “I think its wrong that the movie studio is, in a way, profiting from 9/11.”
Good point. Artists should never profit from their works. All art of any kind done about 9/11 should be done solely for charity. Same with Pearl Harbor. And the Holocaust. Look, it’d be one thing if it was a bad, disrespectful, Hollywoodized version of the events. But it’s an incredibly well done movie that was made with the utmost care and respect for all involved. I think its pretty safe to say that a better movie about 9/11 cannot and will not ever be made. So if you have a problem supporting that with your money then so be it. But just know that if you actually saw the movie I don’t think you would have the same complaint.
* “It’s too depressing.”
Wasn’t Terms of Endearment depressing? Or Love Story? Or Hamlet?
* “It’s too tragic.”
Wasn’t Brokeback Mountain tragic? Or Death of a Salesman? Or Titanic?
Look I could go on with your potential excuses all day and I could have a rebuttal for all of them, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Because your real reason for not wanting to see it has nothing to with the movie itself. It has to do with you. To paraphrase Owen Gliberman, “it’s not the movie that we should be discussing; it’s our fear of seeing it.”
So I have a challenge for you. Face your fear. Take two hours out of your life and see United 93. It may be painful, it may be sad, it may be hard to watch, but that’s life and I think it’s about time you starting dealing with it. You owe it to the people who died that day, and you owe it to yourself. Because if you can’t even be bothered to see United 93 then how can you claim that 9/11 was a big deal for you? How can you use it as an excuse to justify the war? To justify supporting our current foreign policy? How can you claim it changed your life, or was important, or that you’ll never forget it if you cant even be bothered to take two measly hours out of your trite self-involved life to honor the memory of those that died, to reflect on that day, and to experience some cathartic remembrance of it? You cant.
It’s as simple as that.
Now if you still don’t want to see United 93, well, that’s your call. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and as strongly as I may feel about mine, you’re entitled to yours. It’s your right. As an American and as human being. But let me tell you what you’re missing out on. You’re missing out on experiencing again the feelings of that fateful day and the days that followed. The patriotism. The feeling of togetherness. The renewed love for your loved ones and for your fellow man. All the feelings that have been obfuscated by the events that have followed. But for the few minutes after the closing credits start to roll, they come flooding back. You wipe your eyes, gather yourself, and head out onto the street. And sure enough as you leave the theater you feel connected to your fellow man. You wait for the train and you see the people who walk by not as a mass of annoyances, but as a series of faces, and behind each face a person. A person who shares this world with you and who has a life and loves and is just like you. And as their feet trudge by up the steps and into the dimming light of another quickly fading day you hear each pair of footsteps as its own. A group of individuals moving together in a sea of humanity. A sea capable of great and heroic things. And you’re reminded – this is what it means to be alive. And that’s what makes United 93 essential viewing. That’s why it should be shown in schools. That’s why it should be in every home. That’s why it should be mandatory viewing for every man, woman, and child that calls this country of ours home. Because that feeling is there. It’s there on the screen in United 93.
Top 3 & 1/2 of the Week:
(Further 9/11 related reading)
1.) "Manifesto": http://www.slate.com/id/2105672
2.) Owen Gleiberman's article on United 93: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,1195450_1_0_,00.html
3.) Peter Travers Review of United 93: http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/_/id/9216055/rid/10146749/
3 & 1/2.) CNN's 9/11 Video archives: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/trade.center/day.video.09.html#11th
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Note From the Author and More Random Thoughts
Four and a half years ago, like many guys my age I moved to New York in hopes of finding fame, fortune, and someone to teach me how to play R&B/Blues guitar. Well in my first week in the city I found neither fame nor fortune, but I did find that Dan Smith could teach me how to play guitar. And I had every intention of taking him up on that offer, but in between the planes crashing and the buildings falling and the trying to figure out excatly how to define that smell in the 51st Street subway station, I got kind of sidetracked. And the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years and next thing I knew I was a New Yorker with places to be and people to see and fame and fortune to acquire. Only problem was the fame and fortune were harder to acquire than it seemed. So I did what every single human being on the face of the Earth did and started a blog. It kept me entertained and stimulated, but somehow through some terrible fluke or accident or some kind fame and fortune still managed to allude me. And so I got a real job and I discovered the magical world of credit cards and pretended that everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine. I needed a change And so a few weeks ago I did the unthinkable. I left Manhattan and moved to Queens. It was new start and it was a great one. But in between the moving and the working and the complaining about the working and the continuing evasiveness of fame and fortune I thought maybe there was no place in this new world, this magical land of Astoria Queens, for fredtheonlinejournal. And so I was all set to shut it down, when a savior came in the most unexpected way. At a party I shouldn’t even have been at, a person I barely knew came up and told me how much he enjoyed the blog and to keep up the good work. Well now I couldn’t let down my fan could I? And so the next day, in the land of souvlaki, gyros, and Mythos beer, the world headquarters of Fredtheonlinejournal opened for business once again. And with renewed vigor thoughts and words flew out of it. And while fame and fortune continued to elude me I was back to my roots and back where I belonged – wasting ridiculous amounts of time writing about crap that absolutely no one else cared about. And life was good.
Now I know what you’re asking yourself: “when will this ridiculously long intro end?” And also, “enough about you, what does this have to do with me?” Well what this means for you is that there will be regular articles again. And frequent posts. And it also serves as an explanation for my absence. But never fear. There will be no more absences. (At least not until I change my mind again.) So for now enjoy some of the random thoughts I had while on hiatus. And tell your friends about them. And maybe one day I'll have fame. And fortune. And Dan Smith will finally be able to teach me how to play R&B/Blues guitar.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* So wait, I’m confused, is Larry a Cable Guy or a Health Inspector?
* Ever noticed how in college you can study “liberal arts” or major in “liberal studies” but there’s no such thing as “conservative arts” or “conservative studies”?
* I think It’s difficult to know anyone who’s really worth knowing.
* I saw an episode of NBC’s version of The Office recently and despite all odds it was actually really good. In fact I thought it was on par in its own way with the BBC version. Granted it was only one episode but apparently its been getting really good reviews recently overall. Who’d have thunk? I might even have to start watching it. And maybe you should too.
* On a semi-related note, can someone let Ricky Gervais know that no one cares about The Simpsons anymore?
* Since I know (or at least I hope) that there are a lot of Aaron Sorkin fans that read this blog, I feel I should say a few words about Sports Night. And the words are this: Watch It. Sure its not as good as West Wing, and sure at times the writing’s a little unpolished and Sorkin’s still finding his way, and sure other than Felicity Huffman the acting isn’t by any means stellar, and sure the episodes Sorkin didn’t write or only wrote parts of are pretty obvious, and sure the relationships on the show aren’t really believable, but still, its Aaron Sorkin and its better than 95% of shows that there have ever been. Which is why it’s a shame its so under recognized. The West Wing is huge and yet fewer people have seen Sports Night than have seen Freaks and Geeks. (Which if you haven’t seen yet, should be first on your priority list). The argument I hear most often for not watching it is – “I don’t like/care about sports”. But it’s not really about sports at all. That would be like not watching Grey’s Anatomy because you’re not really into medicine. Just give it a chance. Go to Blockbuster or Netflix, check it out, watch the whole first disc, and if you’re not hooked I’ll give you your money back. It takes a few episodes to get going so hang in there at first. And yes the laugh track does go away very soon. But it has a lot to offer. Great likeable characters (it even manages to make Peter Krause seem semi-talented and likeable – no small feat). Engaging story lines. A guest appearance by the incomparable Janel Moloney. The obvious seeds of what would become the West Wing (including an entire episode about everyone’s plans being held up by an old guy who refused to lose a tennis match that was recycled almost exactly by The West Wing) Amazing, astounding, too good for words to describe-level work by Felicity Huffman. And most importantly - great, clever writing. And did I mention Felicity Huffman? So give Sports Night a shot; I wouldn’t steer you wrong.
(On a related note: noticing the jump in quality from Sports Night to West Wing has me off the charts excited to see if Sorkin will make a similar level jump with Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. And even though that seems impossible, early indications are that he actually might. I remember hearing about its pilot script being the hottest thing in Hollywood almost a year ago. And every report from everyone who has come across it has said it’s by far the best TV pilot they’ve ever read. And now Matthew Perry is attached to star. And never before have an actor and writer been more perfectly suited for each other than Matthew Perry and Aaron Sorkin. They make Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro look like the odd couple. So long story short, my expectations and anticipation for Studio 60 on Sunset Strip couldn’t be any higher. Well unless of course it was called Snakes on a Plane. But more on that later…)
* While we’re talking about Aaron Sorkin, here are a few brief thoughts on Season 3 of The West Wing. Humor me. Or just skip right past them. Either way here they are:
-Wow they got Al Pacino to be on the show! Oh wait…that’s just Ron Silver.
-Too many new characters are starting to stretch things a bit thin.
-Story lines are starting to get dropped. Like what ever happened to Donna’s man? And to Bruno and his crew?
-The scene between Josh and Amy in “Women of Kumar” is probably my favorite scene from any TV show/and or movie ever. There are no words to describe its brilliance.
-Okay, how could Bartlett not win reelection in a landslide? I don’t really buy that there could be anyone in this fictional America who wouldn’t like him.
-While talking about implausibility, Bartlett’s comment about Ritchie is the first legitimately implausible thing the show has tried to pull off.
-Amy Gardner listens to Van Morrison. Its official, she’s the most perfect woman ever.
-How could something this smart have gotten such high ratings? I really don’t understand.
-What happened to Charlie and Zoey? Are they still dating? Is Zoey even still alive? Not that I’m complaining, I’m just asking.
-If I could own anything in the world, I would want the actual framed napkin prop they used in “Bartlett for America”. I sincerely hope it still exists somewhere so that I can get rich someday and buy it.
* If you wear a hat to the gym, you’re just tacky. But if you wear a Von Dutch hat to the gym, you have no worth as a human being.
* Im pissed. Amelie Gillette (aka "The Hater") of The Onion's AV Club stole my dream day job.
* Have you heard the new R. Kelly song? The one with the line “It’s like Jurassic Park/ and I’m your Sexosaurus”? I don’t even know what to say about R. Kelly anymore. I mean what can you possibly say at this point? I’m literally speechless. I only hope he realizes that he just barely missed the Pulitzer deadline, so he’ll have to wait almost a whole year before he can collect his award.
* There are few words in the English language more fun than “bouillon”. Between “bouillon” and “doubloons” pirates have really made some of the best contributions to the English language. See I told you pirates arrrrr awesome.
* You know that person who you barely know and were never even really formally introduced to but whenever you see them they always act like you’re best friends and assault you with long pointless stories that only serve to embarrass themselves, but instead of telling them to shut up and go away you just tune them out and nod occasionally to give the appearance that you’re listening? I feel like that’s America’s relationship with Eva Longoria.
* I’m glad to see that Cinco De Mayo is becoming the new St. Patrick’s Day. It really brings me immeasurable joy that there are now two culturally acceptable mainstream holidays whose sole reason for being is to give people a valid excuse to get as drunk as humanly possible. And absolutely no one has a problem with this. At all. It’s times like this when I remember how much I love America.
(And yes I realize both days are technically foreign holidays, but that almost makes it better. It shows that we Americans know how to adopt the very best parts of other cultures and make them our own.)
* I think it’s interesting to consider the fact that the Arts and Entertainment sections of many papers are called “Life” or “Lifestyle”. In the words of Outkast, go and marinate on that for a minute.
* Just for the record, I had “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley on my iPod over two months ago. And yes, now I understand the whole “get mad and defensive when something you like goes too mainstream” phenomenon. On the flip side though we haven’t a good legitimate universal “song of the summer” in far too long.
* As much as I may love them, I think we can probably safely add Peeps to the list of things that human beings were clearly not intended to consume.
* Yes Bill Maher can be kind of smug prick. And sure, he’s not that likeable. It yes, he is clearly extremely chauvinistic. And no, it’s not at all surprising to learn that he’s not married. And basically he’s a pretty hard guy to defend in any way. But that being said, the first and last 10 minutes of any given Real Time With Bill Maher are almost assured to be 20 of the best minutes anywhere on TV in any given week. So I guess in its own way its almost exactly like Grey’s Anatomy.
* “The Call” on NY1 is clearly the work of Satan. And yes, maybe I care a little too much about NY1 but what can I say? It’s the only local news worth watching.
* I feel sure that it’s no coincidence that the demise of E! News Live has directly coincided with the demise of America. Ryan Seacrest and Julianna DePandi are clearly the George Bush to Jules Anser and Steve Kmetko’s Bill Clinton.
Wow, I really need to get out more.
(While were on the topic, how is more not made out of the fact that Steven Soderbergh is married to Jules Asner? Or that Jules Asner is married to Steven Soderbergh? Either way you look at it it’s a great story and more should be made of it.)
* I think whenever someone says, “all I want is honesty” that’s a pretty good sign that they’re lying.
"In a million years, did you ever think this would happen? One decade ago, I didn't even have an e-mail address or know what the Internet was ... now I can watch basically any video clip I want whenever I want? What will the world be like 10 years from now? Is it possible to procrastinate for 24 hours a day? Are we headed that way?"
(Editors Note: Yes.)
* Who are these people who aren’t ready for United 93 and claim it’s too soon? It was four and a half years ago! How can you not be ready? If you’re not ready now when exactly WILL you be ready? Did you have a problem with them making Pearl Harbor? If all the families have approved and say they’re okay with it then who are you to say its “too soon”? And why is it acceptable for you to force movie theaters to stop showing the trailer because it’s too traumatic for you to sit through? It’s a fucking movie trailer people. Seriously, I don’t know why this is considered tolerable acceptable behavior. Far be it for me to judge how people should handle tragedy; I know its something personal and we all deal with it in our own way. If you don’t want to see the movie, that’s fine. But if the trailer for United 93 comes on and you audibly yell at the screen “too soon” or complain afterwards to the management, you’re not grieving or traumatized, you’re insane.
And this isn’t the last you’ll be hearing from me about this…
* True story: a few months back I was about halfway through writing a complete March Madness preview when my computer crashed, taking the document with it. I was so pissed off that I just gave up and didn’t bother rewriting it. But if you don’t think I’m still upset that I didn’t get a chance to make jokes about an event that featured Adam Morrison’s mustache, a guy named Kevin Pitsnoggle, and a team called the Wichita State Shockers, then clearly you don’t know me very well.
* If I wrote Jessica Shaw’s Hot List for Entertainment Weekly:
In: Snakes On A Plane
5 Minutes Ago: Chuck Norris
Out: “Lazy Sunday”
Which bring us to our last item….
* You might recall that back in November I asked whether or not a film had ever won Best Picture before a trailer for it had even been released because if not then Munich would be the first. Well I was wrong about Munich but I will ask the same question and make the same prediction again, only this time about a different film. An that film is Snakes on a Plane. The others studios should just give up right now. Snakes on a Plane has Best Picture sewn up. Because not only is Snakes on a Plane the greatest thing to ever happen to movies, and to the internet, it’s maybe the greatest thing to ever happen to humanity in the history of the Earth. I honestly don’t think it would be humanly possible to be any more aboard the Snakes on a Plane bandwagon than I already am. I already have Snakes on a Plane references up in my home. I recently ordered a Snakes on a Plane shirt. As soon as tickets go on sale I will buy them for opening night. (And if its not showing at The Zeigfeld there is something very wrong with the world.) And if they could somehow get Chuck Norris to make a cameo it would seriously be the greatest movie moment in history. The earth might literally stop spinning on its axis because of how fucking awesome that would be. And if you think I’m joking about any of this, well I’m not. If you were here right now you could see how completely serious I am. And you want to know something else? You know how people say something is the greatest thing since sliced bread? Well soon they’re going to start referring to things as the greatest thing since Snakes on a Plane. So you better get on board. The bandwagon that is. Definitely not the plane. Because as you might have heard, THERE ARE SNAKES ON IT!
Top 3 & 1/2 Snakes on a Plane Sequel Titles
Snakes on a Plane II: More Snakes On Another Plane
Snakes on a Plane II: Bears On A Plane
Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes On A Plain Bagel
Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes On A Boat
(And of course there’s the obligatory “Snakes On A Plane II: Electric Bugaloo”)
* My idol Bill Simmons is referring specifically to YouTube.com here but he is in general referring to the entire Internet. And as always I couldn't have said it better myself. Which is why Im letting him say it:
Now I know what you’re asking yourself: “when will this ridiculously long intro end?” And also, “enough about you, what does this have to do with me?” Well what this means for you is that there will be regular articles again. And frequent posts. And it also serves as an explanation for my absence. But never fear. There will be no more absences. (At least not until I change my mind again.) So for now enjoy some of the random thoughts I had while on hiatus. And tell your friends about them. And maybe one day I'll have fame. And fortune. And Dan Smith will finally be able to teach me how to play R&B/Blues guitar.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* So wait, I’m confused, is Larry a Cable Guy or a Health Inspector?
* Ever noticed how in college you can study “liberal arts” or major in “liberal studies” but there’s no such thing as “conservative arts” or “conservative studies”?
* I think It’s difficult to know anyone who’s really worth knowing.
* I saw an episode of NBC’s version of The Office recently and despite all odds it was actually really good. In fact I thought it was on par in its own way with the BBC version. Granted it was only one episode but apparently its been getting really good reviews recently overall. Who’d have thunk? I might even have to start watching it. And maybe you should too.
* On a semi-related note, can someone let Ricky Gervais know that no one cares about The Simpsons anymore?
* Since I know (or at least I hope) that there are a lot of Aaron Sorkin fans that read this blog, I feel I should say a few words about Sports Night. And the words are this: Watch It. Sure its not as good as West Wing, and sure at times the writing’s a little unpolished and Sorkin’s still finding his way, and sure other than Felicity Huffman the acting isn’t by any means stellar, and sure the episodes Sorkin didn’t write or only wrote parts of are pretty obvious, and sure the relationships on the show aren’t really believable, but still, its Aaron Sorkin and its better than 95% of shows that there have ever been. Which is why it’s a shame its so under recognized. The West Wing is huge and yet fewer people have seen Sports Night than have seen Freaks and Geeks. (Which if you haven’t seen yet, should be first on your priority list). The argument I hear most often for not watching it is – “I don’t like/care about sports”. But it’s not really about sports at all. That would be like not watching Grey’s Anatomy because you’re not really into medicine. Just give it a chance. Go to Blockbuster or Netflix, check it out, watch the whole first disc, and if you’re not hooked I’ll give you your money back. It takes a few episodes to get going so hang in there at first. And yes the laugh track does go away very soon. But it has a lot to offer. Great likeable characters (it even manages to make Peter Krause seem semi-talented and likeable – no small feat). Engaging story lines. A guest appearance by the incomparable Janel Moloney. The obvious seeds of what would become the West Wing (including an entire episode about everyone’s plans being held up by an old guy who refused to lose a tennis match that was recycled almost exactly by The West Wing) Amazing, astounding, too good for words to describe-level work by Felicity Huffman. And most importantly - great, clever writing. And did I mention Felicity Huffman? So give Sports Night a shot; I wouldn’t steer you wrong.
(On a related note: noticing the jump in quality from Sports Night to West Wing has me off the charts excited to see if Sorkin will make a similar level jump with Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. And even though that seems impossible, early indications are that he actually might. I remember hearing about its pilot script being the hottest thing in Hollywood almost a year ago. And every report from everyone who has come across it has said it’s by far the best TV pilot they’ve ever read. And now Matthew Perry is attached to star. And never before have an actor and writer been more perfectly suited for each other than Matthew Perry and Aaron Sorkin. They make Martin Scorsese and Robert DeNiro look like the odd couple. So long story short, my expectations and anticipation for Studio 60 on Sunset Strip couldn’t be any higher. Well unless of course it was called Snakes on a Plane. But more on that later…)
* While we’re talking about Aaron Sorkin, here are a few brief thoughts on Season 3 of The West Wing. Humor me. Or just skip right past them. Either way here they are:
-Wow they got Al Pacino to be on the show! Oh wait…that’s just Ron Silver.
-Too many new characters are starting to stretch things a bit thin.
-Story lines are starting to get dropped. Like what ever happened to Donna’s man? And to Bruno and his crew?
-The scene between Josh and Amy in “Women of Kumar” is probably my favorite scene from any TV show/and or movie ever. There are no words to describe its brilliance.
-Okay, how could Bartlett not win reelection in a landslide? I don’t really buy that there could be anyone in this fictional America who wouldn’t like him.
-While talking about implausibility, Bartlett’s comment about Ritchie is the first legitimately implausible thing the show has tried to pull off.
-Amy Gardner listens to Van Morrison. Its official, she’s the most perfect woman ever.
-How could something this smart have gotten such high ratings? I really don’t understand.
-What happened to Charlie and Zoey? Are they still dating? Is Zoey even still alive? Not that I’m complaining, I’m just asking.
-If I could own anything in the world, I would want the actual framed napkin prop they used in “Bartlett for America”. I sincerely hope it still exists somewhere so that I can get rich someday and buy it.
* If you wear a hat to the gym, you’re just tacky. But if you wear a Von Dutch hat to the gym, you have no worth as a human being.
* Im pissed. Amelie Gillette (aka "The Hater") of The Onion's AV Club stole my dream day job.
* Have you heard the new R. Kelly song? The one with the line “It’s like Jurassic Park/ and I’m your Sexosaurus”? I don’t even know what to say about R. Kelly anymore. I mean what can you possibly say at this point? I’m literally speechless. I only hope he realizes that he just barely missed the Pulitzer deadline, so he’ll have to wait almost a whole year before he can collect his award.
* There are few words in the English language more fun than “bouillon”. Between “bouillon” and “doubloons” pirates have really made some of the best contributions to the English language. See I told you pirates arrrrr awesome.
* You know that person who you barely know and were never even really formally introduced to but whenever you see them they always act like you’re best friends and assault you with long pointless stories that only serve to embarrass themselves, but instead of telling them to shut up and go away you just tune them out and nod occasionally to give the appearance that you’re listening? I feel like that’s America’s relationship with Eva Longoria.
* I’m glad to see that Cinco De Mayo is becoming the new St. Patrick’s Day. It really brings me immeasurable joy that there are now two culturally acceptable mainstream holidays whose sole reason for being is to give people a valid excuse to get as drunk as humanly possible. And absolutely no one has a problem with this. At all. It’s times like this when I remember how much I love America.
(And yes I realize both days are technically foreign holidays, but that almost makes it better. It shows that we Americans know how to adopt the very best parts of other cultures and make them our own.)
* I think it’s interesting to consider the fact that the Arts and Entertainment sections of many papers are called “Life” or “Lifestyle”. In the words of Outkast, go and marinate on that for a minute.
* Just for the record, I had “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley on my iPod over two months ago. And yes, now I understand the whole “get mad and defensive when something you like goes too mainstream” phenomenon. On the flip side though we haven’t a good legitimate universal “song of the summer” in far too long.
* As much as I may love them, I think we can probably safely add Peeps to the list of things that human beings were clearly not intended to consume.
* Yes Bill Maher can be kind of smug prick. And sure, he’s not that likeable. It yes, he is clearly extremely chauvinistic. And no, it’s not at all surprising to learn that he’s not married. And basically he’s a pretty hard guy to defend in any way. But that being said, the first and last 10 minutes of any given Real Time With Bill Maher are almost assured to be 20 of the best minutes anywhere on TV in any given week. So I guess in its own way its almost exactly like Grey’s Anatomy.
* “The Call” on NY1 is clearly the work of Satan. And yes, maybe I care a little too much about NY1 but what can I say? It’s the only local news worth watching.
* I feel sure that it’s no coincidence that the demise of E! News Live has directly coincided with the demise of America. Ryan Seacrest and Julianna DePandi are clearly the George Bush to Jules Anser and Steve Kmetko’s Bill Clinton.
Wow, I really need to get out more.
(While were on the topic, how is more not made out of the fact that Steven Soderbergh is married to Jules Asner? Or that Jules Asner is married to Steven Soderbergh? Either way you look at it it’s a great story and more should be made of it.)
* I think whenever someone says, “all I want is honesty” that’s a pretty good sign that they’re lying.
"In a million years, did you ever think this would happen? One decade ago, I didn't even have an e-mail address or know what the Internet was ... now I can watch basically any video clip I want whenever I want? What will the world be like 10 years from now? Is it possible to procrastinate for 24 hours a day? Are we headed that way?"
(Editors Note: Yes.)
* Who are these people who aren’t ready for United 93 and claim it’s too soon? It was four and a half years ago! How can you not be ready? If you’re not ready now when exactly WILL you be ready? Did you have a problem with them making Pearl Harbor? If all the families have approved and say they’re okay with it then who are you to say its “too soon”? And why is it acceptable for you to force movie theaters to stop showing the trailer because it’s too traumatic for you to sit through? It’s a fucking movie trailer people. Seriously, I don’t know why this is considered tolerable acceptable behavior. Far be it for me to judge how people should handle tragedy; I know its something personal and we all deal with it in our own way. If you don’t want to see the movie, that’s fine. But if the trailer for United 93 comes on and you audibly yell at the screen “too soon” or complain afterwards to the management, you’re not grieving or traumatized, you’re insane.
And this isn’t the last you’ll be hearing from me about this…
* True story: a few months back I was about halfway through writing a complete March Madness preview when my computer crashed, taking the document with it. I was so pissed off that I just gave up and didn’t bother rewriting it. But if you don’t think I’m still upset that I didn’t get a chance to make jokes about an event that featured Adam Morrison’s mustache, a guy named Kevin Pitsnoggle, and a team called the Wichita State Shockers, then clearly you don’t know me very well.
* If I wrote Jessica Shaw’s Hot List for Entertainment Weekly:
In: Snakes On A Plane
5 Minutes Ago: Chuck Norris
Out: “Lazy Sunday”
Which bring us to our last item….
* You might recall that back in November I asked whether or not a film had ever won Best Picture before a trailer for it had even been released because if not then Munich would be the first. Well I was wrong about Munich but I will ask the same question and make the same prediction again, only this time about a different film. An that film is Snakes on a Plane. The others studios should just give up right now. Snakes on a Plane has Best Picture sewn up. Because not only is Snakes on a Plane the greatest thing to ever happen to movies, and to the internet, it’s maybe the greatest thing to ever happen to humanity in the history of the Earth. I honestly don’t think it would be humanly possible to be any more aboard the Snakes on a Plane bandwagon than I already am. I already have Snakes on a Plane references up in my home. I recently ordered a Snakes on a Plane shirt. As soon as tickets go on sale I will buy them for opening night. (And if its not showing at The Zeigfeld there is something very wrong with the world.) And if they could somehow get Chuck Norris to make a cameo it would seriously be the greatest movie moment in history. The earth might literally stop spinning on its axis because of how fucking awesome that would be. And if you think I’m joking about any of this, well I’m not. If you were here right now you could see how completely serious I am. And you want to know something else? You know how people say something is the greatest thing since sliced bread? Well soon they’re going to start referring to things as the greatest thing since Snakes on a Plane. So you better get on board. The bandwagon that is. Definitely not the plane. Because as you might have heard, THERE ARE SNAKES ON IT!
Top 3 & 1/2 Snakes on a Plane Sequel Titles
Snakes on a Plane II: More Snakes On Another Plane
Snakes on a Plane II: Bears On A Plane
Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes On A Plain Bagel
Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes On A Boat
(And of course there’s the obligatory “Snakes On A Plane II: Electric Bugaloo”)
* My idol Bill Simmons is referring specifically to YouTube.com here but he is in general referring to the entire Internet. And as always I couldn't have said it better myself. Which is why Im letting him say it:
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